Thursday, December 17, 2009

The Love Boat

Monica: Oh my god I'm stuffed. I never ate so much in my life.

Paige: I can tell. I think you might have gained a few pounds there.

Monica: No! Oh my god oh my god... Running

Paige: Don't break the scale!

Alyson: You know she worked out in that gym like every day we were on the ship, right?

Paige: Well yeah, but between late night trips to the lido deck and all those fruity cocktails I'm sure she made up for it. I know I'm still working it all off.

Alyson: I don't see how you both could eat so much. I didn't.

Paige: That's because you never left the hot tubs. And who was that guy I saw you flirting with?

Alyson: Blush Well... uhm... that was... we were just chatting.

Paige: Uh huh. Same guy every day? Well, I won't tell RB. Which reminds me, I don't suppose you'd mind doing my chores while I work off those desserts? You know, for a few weeks maybe?

Alyson: Why you... Gulp Oh, hey RB.

RB: Hey girls. You had fun on your cruise?

Paige: I know Alyson did... Ouch!

Alyson: Rubbing elbow Yeah, of course. It was great.

RB: I just wish I could have gone, but you know what work's like. I'm glad all of you got to go, though.

Paige: Yeah, you missed a lot. Hey, I thought you'd like this picture I took of the cruise ship. We were off Catalina Island here.

RB: Oh, that is cool. You'll have to tell me more later, though. I gotta go. But I want to hear all about it.

Paige: Yeah, sure thing. We'll see you later.

Alyson: See ya!

Paige: You were saying, little sis?

Alyson: Sigh Yeah, sure, chores.

Paige: Excellent. What happens on the cruise ship stays on the cruise ship, right?

Alyson: Oh, yes, most definitely. Thank you.

Paige: My pleasure. Smirk

Tuesday, October 13, 2009


Paige: We're all so sorry for the silence, but I'm sad to say that RBC wasn't the only loss we suffered recently. A couple weeks after RBC passed, our little girl cat RGC came down ill as well. Cancer, once again, struck our family, and she passed away only 5 weeks after our dear boy. She was 14 years old.

Monica: It's been a hard thing knowing we'd have to come here and say it, so soon after RBC. I think we thought if we'd put it off it wouldn't be true. Damn. Well, it's been awfully quiet at home. No pitter patter of little kitty feet. We've been wallowing ever since, and I have to tell you that's not a good thing. Thank you, Claire, for poking at us. It's good to know there are people out there who care.

Paige: Yeah, thank you. We'll try not to be so quiet from here on out. For the moment, though, here is a picture of RGC. She had the biggest eyes we'd ever seen on a cat. I hope this image gives you a small sample of what we felt whenever she looked our way. Take care for now!

Thursday, August 13, 2009


RB: From myself and the girls, I want just want to tell everyone about the passing of a dear friend and companion of over 17 years. Known here previously as RBC (Real Boy Cat), he left us yesterday after a brief illness. Since he was eight weeks old he had shared my life, bearing silent witness to its many ups and downs, and provided support and comfort with his presence and touch. He was not just a cat. He was my confidant and ally. I cannot express how much I will miss him. Even now I yearn to hear his purr once more and felt my heart ache when my hand reached out in the night to find him missing besides me in sleep. He was, and always will be treasured in my heart and soul. Farewell, my friend.

1991 - 2009

Thursday, July 30, 2009

The Sound of Something

Monica: So, can you hear me now?

RB: Sigh Not like I haven't HEARD that one before.

Alyson: Giggle.

RB: Yeah, it's getting better. Still a little stuffy, though.

Monica: Well, as long as you can hear my tongue on your earlobe, we're good.

Alyson: Monica!

Paige: Don't pay any attention to her, Alyson. Ok, Monica, put your tongue back in your mouth. RB, your burger is ready and hot off the grill. And Alyson, I think your... what the hell is this thing?

Alyson: Boca Burger.

Paige: Uh, yeah, your Boca thing is ready. I think. It's not meat so I can't tell.

RB: God it's hot out here.

Alyson: I love your patio. I wish you had space for a garden, though. It would be so nice to grow our own vegetables.

Monica: You kidding me? You think I'm going to grovel in the dirt for carrots? It's hard getting my nails to look this good.

Paige: But we could compost. I've been wanting to do that here forever. Too much garbage in our landfills at it is.

Alyson: Exactly!

RB: You girls go right on ahead. I'll be inside cooling off with the air conditioner.

Monica: I'm with you! Want to cool of up stairs on the bed? Naked?

RB: Uhm...

Alyson: What a great idea! I could work on my tan right here and get rid of my tan lines.

RB: Ehh...

Paige: Heh. That is a good idea. We do have a fence and a private yard. I suppose we both could.

RB: Ahh...

Paige: Why RB, what's the matter? You're looking like one of those baby birds waiting for food from its mother. Is that drool I see?

RB: Arrrr...

Monica: Oh, stick a burger in it. Damn, now I'll never get him to go inside. I guess I better work on that tan too.

RB: Eeee...

Alyson: You ok, RB? Your eyes are going... glassy? Hello? Hey, I think we need help here. Is he ok?

Paige: Heh. I think it's shock. It's just a guess, but I think he'll live.

Monica: Well, I think we can shock him back to life. Off with the top!

RB: Uhhh....

Paige: Anyone else up for a burger while we're out here?

Monica: Yeah, I think so. Thanks. Hmmm, good. Oops, is that catsup dripping on my breast? Darn.

Paige: Don't break the boy. We need him later.

Alyson: Did it just get hotter out here?

Monica: Yeah, I think it definitely did.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Slicing and Dicing

Alyson: Oh, he's so cute when he's sick. He's looks so sad, I just want to take care of him.

Monica: And wash him. When did they say he could take a shower?

Paige: Sigh You know he's sucking this for all it's worth, don't you?

Alyson: Oh, don't say that. He's had a tough couple weeks. Surgery can really be hard on the body. Poor guy.

Monica: I'd snuggle to keep him warm, but I hate blood. Did you see that when it starting leaking out his ear? Yuck!

Paige: Geez, it's not like he's oozing or anything. He hasn't bled for a week now. And don't let him fool you. The guy is riding high on codeine. I wonder if he could spare any.

Monica: Smack Hey, don't you go all druggy on me.

Paige: I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I was justing thinking about the next time I have a migraine.

Monica: Migraines. Yeah, right. You mean cramps, don't you?

Paige: Well, thanks. Now everyone knows I get PMS.

Alyson: Huh. Never had much of a problem with that. I just drink this herbal tea and I'm fine.

Monica: I hate her. You know that, right?

Paige: The girl vacuum's in her lingerie. RB can't stop staring at her whenever she helps clean the house. I'm right there with you. Grrr...

Alyson: Hey, it's more comfortable that way. He really looks? Blush

Monica: We'd better be quiet. We're going to wake him.

Paige: Humph, no way. He's got his good ear to the pillow. They stuff this gel stuff in his ear to keep everything in place. He won't be able to hear a thing for awhile. Huh, wouldn't it be cool if he had super hearing after all this?

Monica: What, like the Bionic Woman? God that was a bad show. Didn't they cancel that?

Paige: Yeah, they did. It was a bad show, wasn't it? But what I mean is wouldn't it be great if his hearing was better than normal?

Alyson: Is that possible? They just replaced an ear bone or something, right? Like with plastic? It's not like it's electronic or anything.

Paige: Yeah, but it would be so cool.

Monica: Huh. He seemed fine to me. Why did he have that done again?

Paige: What, you never noticed that he always managed to sit on everyone's left side? Some ear infection as a kid, I think. About time he had that fixed. I was getting tired of repeating myself all the time.

Alyson: Ah, poor guy. He'll be good as new soon. Think we should have a party to make him feel better?

Paige: Nah. Just clean house. He'll perk right up, I'm sure.

Monica: Heh. Perk right up. That's good.

Paige: Grrrr....

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Four's Company

Monica: Hey, that looks good on you.

Alyson: Uhm, thanks.

Monica: Here, let me get that stray hair out of the way. Oh, that's perfect. You look way better than Paige in that, let me tell you.

Alyson: If you say so. But I think Paige is awfully pretty.

Monica: Oh, you kidding? You're way prettier than she is. Just don't say anything about it to her. She's very sensitive, you know. Darn, the light is bad here. Oh well, we'll just have to make due. Ok, I think we're done and ready for your debut. You good?

Alyson: Uh, yeah, sure. I think so.

Monica: Let's see, click here, upload there. I think I got it. Ahem... Mee mee mee...

Hello everyone! Monica here. Paige is off doing... well, something somewhere else. Anyway, I wanted to let everyone know that our sister Alyson arrived at our house safe and sound after a very long trip from lovely southern California. Poor girl is going to go pale here in Oregon, she looks great and is happy to be here. Why don't you say hello, Alyson?

Alyson: Uh, hi. Hello. Everyone.

Monica: She's a bit shy, but she's a darling. And if you're wondering what she looks like, here she is!

Isn't she beautiful? Now she didn't come up with much so she's borrowing from myself and Paige, of course. We're also having a lovely time hanging out together.

Alyson: Yeah, Monica has been real nice. Paige too...

Monica: Oh, our sister has been out and about lately. What with going to conferences and being all geek like, we hardly ever see her. Not like me. Some of us have to stick around and go to work and stuff. I'm taking a few days off so Alyson and I can hang out and get to know each other. Isn't that right?

Alyson: Uh, yeah, I guess.

Monica: Well, why don't you tell folks about yourself?

Alyson: Uhm, ok, sure. Well, I'm from south Cal, but you already know that. I like going to the beach, but not much of that around here. I think it's been cloudy the entire time I've been here. Let's see, I like reading, well, I guess you'd say it's non-fiction. My favorites are self help type books, you know. I mean, I just love learning about how people work and stuff, and helping people be better, and be better myself.

Monica: I didn't know that.

Alyson: Oh, I've been so busy since I got here I haven't had a chance to say anything. Oh, and I meditate because it calms me, you know? Beyond that I try to stay fit. I do hope RB has a bike. I'd really miss it if I couldn't bike. Well, I guess I could jog, you know, but you just can't go as far. I do hope to see more of the city. Anyway, I'm a vegetarian...

Monica: Cough You're vegetarian?!

Alyson: Oh yeah! It's really good for you. All that meat and fat just clogs the arteries, you know. Veggies are much better for you.

Monica: And here I thought you were just being picky at that restaurant.

Alyson: Oh, no. I love Indian food. That tofu with the spinach was fantastic. Ok, let's see... Oh, I do massage. RB really seemed to like have his back rubbed last night. I hope he liked it.

Monica: Uhm, yeah. I'm sure he did. Cough

Alyson: So I hear Portland is a great place for massage. There are like two schools in town. I looked it up online before I got here. Oh, and they have a school of oriental medicine. Isn't that great?

Monica: Yeah, great. Well, looks like you'll have lots to love in Portland. Big biking town, too.

Alyson: Oh, that's wonderful! Maybe there's a club or something I can join. I was part of a co-op down in San Diego.

Monica: Yeah, you can go join a club. Oh darn, I think we're out of time. Well, it's, uh, great to have you here. We're one big happy family, you know. I hope you like it here.

Alyson: Oh, I think I will. Thanks!

Monica: Talk to you all later, everyone. Ta ta!

Alyson: Bye!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

I want a girl with a short skirt...

Paige: Ok all you geeks out there, for those of you not in the know last week was Apple's World Wide Developer Conference. Now RB is a bit an IT oriented kind of guy and most definitely an Apple geek, so every year he takes his annual pilgrimage to worship at the foot of the Apple altar. Now I also love technology, and RB decided that since he can only go to so many sessions and can't be in two places at once, that I should go along and help. That means while he was off at IT sessions, I got to hang out at with the developers, learning all things Xcode and iPhone so I could pass the info along.

Now I'm sure that Monica will give me all sorts of flak for this, because she didn't get to go. As you recall from around this time last year both of us got to be there. Since my sister is blessed with a simpler and less technical mind, while I learned about then Mac OS X Leopard she was off flirting with the poor geek boys who had no idea what to do with her. This year, though, RB could only afford to take one of us along for the journey, and I, thank the computer gods, was the chosen one.

Now the highlight of this year was Snow Leopard, aka Mac OS X 10.6, and iPhone 3.0. I won't get too nerdy on you, but it's all cool. Apple is marching right along with uber-new technology. We are both under NDA so our lips and elegantly sealed. Needless to say we're both looking forward to their release.

Now, among those things we can talk about, is the traditional Apple bash at the Yerba Buena Gardens. Last year's guest band was Bare Naked Ladies. This year's was... drum roll please...


Whoohoo! It was a bit chilly but RB and I huddled with the crowded masses to enjoy a really cool show. Now if you doubt our attendance, here is our proof.

No, we did not tape the whole thing, and no, you can't have any more, so don't ask. We just offer this small sample as an offering to our readers, with prayers that neither Cake nor Apple will come and sue us for posting it. If you want more, please buy the song. Innocent Grin

Now in other news our sister Alyson will be arriving tomorrow. As soon as we've given her a chance to rest from her long journey and have gotten to know her a bit we'll invite her here to our lovely blog in the near future. Stayed tuned!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Visits and Lamentations

Monica: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. This place is a dump!

Paige: Calm down, sis. It'll all be ready when Alyson gets here.

Monica: But we're not ready! I mean, RB has been biting his nails, and look at the stubs on my hands! I can't stand the waiting.

Paige: Look, we're fine, and she'll be fine. We have a great place. What's not to like? She'll have us and RB. We'll treat her well.

Monica: But, how often does one find out you have a half sister? I mean, it's not every day, you know. And she's coming to live with us! What if she doesn't like us? What if we don't like her?What if she's a bitch? Oh my god, what if she's a complete, raving lunatic?!

Paige: You have too many thoughts, sis. Besides, we're half sisters too. We get along, and we'll get along with her. Plus she sounded like a nice person on the phone. It's why I made the invitation. If we should be wondering about anything, it's what the hell was our father thinking? Geez, he got around.

Monica: Heh. Yeah, that's true. He was a bit of a horndog, wasn't he. Well, my mom said nothing but nice things about him.

Paige: Mine thought he was an ass. Oh well. Thank god we're not our parents.

Monica: Oh so true. Well, I sure do hope she likes us.

Paige: I think she will. Hmmm... I wonder how she and RB will get along.

Monica: Oh, do not go there.

Paige: Why? Think they won't?

Monica: Oh, no. I think they will. I think she'll come in all beautiful redhead like and sweep him off his feet. Damn him. Damn her. I'm going to hate her, I know it. She'll be all "look, aren't I beautiful?" and I'll want to vomit all over. It's hard enough between us. Three's company was one thing, but four?

Paige: Oh, good point. Is that why you did your hair? It's very pretty.

Monica: Oh, thank you. And maybe. I got it all conditioned. RB really likes how it feels. Is that why you did yours?

Paige: Uhm... no, of course not. Just needed a change is all. You like it?

Monica: Oh yes. Very stylin. I like. RB will like. Between us, Alyson doesn't have a chance.

Paige: Whispers Hope not.

Monica: What was that?

Paige: Oh, nothing, nothing at all. It'll be wonderful having her here. Really, really nice. Yes. Nice... Forced Smile

Monday, May 11, 2009

Trekking to the Movies

Paige: Hey there. Paige here with, you guessed it, a review of the latest Star Trek movie.

Monica: It was awesome!

Paige: Oh shush, sis. "Awesome" is not a review, it's an opinion.

Monica: Hey, I didn't even like the old Trek stuff, but I think the movie was great. That has to mean something, if a regular non-geek can get into it.

Paige: Yes, yes it does. It means you were sucked in by the gullibility monster. I mean, it is true the characters were great, the movie was well cast, the acting was good, the basic storyline was good. But the science?! Oh my god, you've got to be kidding me. Did any of the writers make even the slightest effort at getting anything right? Couldn't they take the time to look it up on Wikipedia or something? Was a five minute Google search too much to ask for?

Monica: Uhm, who cares?

Paige: Anybody with a brain cares! Ok, folks, if you haven't seen the movie, spoilers below! Lent the rant begin.

Ok, I have no problem with all the Trek basics. Replicators, transporter, and warp drive are fine by me. I have no issue with that. That's just an assumption that with time such things may come to pass. Fine. But they got the science we do know so wrong it defies reason!

First of all, supernovas that threaten the galaxy?! What the hell was that about? Supernovae are bright, granted, but with stars so far apart a supernova could only threaten the local star system in which it resides. So unless Romulus was orbiting the star that blew there was little danger to anyone.

In addition, can anyone tell me how the hell Spock could witness the destruction of Vulcan from another planet? Unless he was on a moon of Vulcan, it is impossible to get a view of Vulcan's demise like he did. I mean, we can't even get a view like that with another planet in our own solar system. If Mars or Venus was gobbled by a black hole the only thing we'd see was a light in the sky winking out. Geez!

Those weren't the only issues, but those were by far the two biggest. If you'd like a list, the Discover magazine news site has a blog detailing more here. From issues with drilling holes to the core of a planet to exposure to space to how black holes really work, the movie was rife with problems.

Now, despite all those other issues, the two I mention above were my biggest ones. If it wasn't for those I think the movie would have been fantastic. With these mistakes, though, I found myself pulled out of suspension of disbelief. Why oh why did J.J. Abrams do that? Anyone with half a brain should have known better.

Monica: Uhm, I didn't notice those.

Paige: And my point is made.

Monica: Why are you being such a bitch?

Paige: I'll tell you if you tell me why Nero didn't just go and use that Red Matter stuff on the star that would destroy his planet before it exploded rather than take revenge on Spock.

Monica: Uhm... I can't.

Paige: Well then, I guess you'll just have to figure it out for yourself then. Sigh Rant done.

Monica: Still an awesome movie.

Paige: Yes, sis. Of course it is.

Monday, May 4, 2009

End of Semester Blues

Monica: Hey sis... whoa. You look trashed. Is that... champaign I smell?

Paige: Oh, hey Monica. Yeah, I'm beat. God I'm tired.

Monica: You, out partying? Little miss responsible? I never would have thought it.

Paige: Oh, no, I didn't drink a thing. Ok, not much, at least. It's the end of the school year. They had that celebration I mentioned for the seniors turning in their theses. I think I had three bottles of cheap champaign dumped on my head.

Monica: Oh yeah, you mentioned that. But wasn't the thesis thing on Friday?

Paige: Yeah, why?

Monica: Well, it's Monday.

Paige: Oh, crap!

Monica: Sure you didn't do anything? Get high, maybe? Lost time is pretty bad.

Paige: No, no... I just didn't sleep, and the contact high, I suppose. You know, there was the music and dancing, and the maze...

Monica: A maze.

Paige: Yeah! They built a big wooden maze in the center of campus. And there was the naked slip and slide...

Monica: Naked slip and slide...

Paige: Oh, and there was the Feast, softball, a room full of bouncy balls, and the Picting.

Monica: Picting?

Paige: Oh, a whole bunch of us painted ourselves blue and ran around naked, hugging people.

Monica: Ok, there is that naked thing again. It does explain the blue stuff all over your clothes, though. Does RB know about this?

Paige: Uhm... no. And don't tell him.

Monica: You didn't... do anything, did you? You know, with anyone? I mean, it sounds like a big drunken orgy to me.

Paige: Oh no, no, no. Most definitely not. RB is my guy, you know that! I just don't want him jealous is all.

Monica: What, of you running around naked hugging people?

Paige: Well... yes. But I was blue. Nobody recognized me, at least, I think they didn't.

Monica: Yeah, right. Well, I have to get to work. You go to bed. I'll see you when I get home.

Paige: Yes, sleep...

Monica: But shower first! I will not have our bed smelling like a brewery.

Paige: But I thought you liked breweries.

Monica: Only when I'm trying to get RB sloshed. He's more fun that way. Boy's a little shy, you know. But you better clean yourself up before he gets home or he'll know exactly what you were up to.

Paige: Yes, Mom.

Monica: Turn around is fair play. And next time try to get better champaign pored on yourself. That stuff smells terrible.

Paige: Yes, Ma'am.

Monica: And invite me, next time. I like parties.

Paige: What? And have you go around corrupting the freshmen? No way.

Monica: I'd be nice.

Paige: And what would RB think?

Monica: Well, what goes to there, stays there, right?

Paige: Smirk Uh huh. Right.

Monica: I wouldn't talk, blue girl. And besides, RB lives with two girls. He should feel privileged with whatever he gets.

Paige: Too true. Ok, I'll get you a guest pass next year.

Monica: Good. Now I better go or I'll be late. Sleep well!

Paige: TTFN!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Life, the Universe, and Everything

Paige: Hey everyone, I'm home!

Monica: Hey, Paige.

Paige: Hey. Where's RB? I just wanted to thank him for... something. You ever get that feeling that something's changed but can't quite figure out what? That reminds me, what are you doing home?

Monica: Oh, RB is still at work, and I wasn't feeling well today so I stayed home. I have a cold and doesn't it figure, I think I hurt my wrist. Damned carpel tunnel. And yeah, I know what you mean. I got this feeling like... like I don't know. I called into work and it felt funny, wrong somehow. But it's work. The idea of work is just wrong, so it's probably nothing.

Paige: Well, I just had a great class. Have to write a psych paper for the end of the term, though. It's supposed to be explaining some behavioral process in a fun and interesting way. I thought I'd explain behaviorism in the same style as Plato's Republic. You know, using a Socratic dialog and all that.

Monica: Uhm, yeah... Ok. You go do that. I'll just... watch TV and relax, pet a cat, keep my head from spinning.

Paige: You should have RB look at that. He fixed my wrist awhile back. Some of that oriental whatever he calls it should do the trick.

Monica: Oh, he said he would. That modeling gig for Coverdoll way back really did a number on me. I don't think my body was meant to go that way.

Paige: That's true. Remember, you're not Gumby. Well, Pokey maybe, but not Gumby.

Monica: Grrr Yeah, right. You better go write your paper or you'll be feeling like Mr. Bill.

Paige: Heh Will do. Geez, wish I could remember what I was going to thanks RB about.

Monica: When you figure it out let me know. Till then, can you pass that over to me? I forgot my drink on the counter.

Paige: Uhm, is a Mudslide a good thing to drink when you have a cold?

Monica: I figure the alcohol will kill all the bad stuff running around my body. Oh, remember to tell RB he's out of Kahlua.

Paige: Huh. Some things feel different, but other things feel the same. Strange.

Monica: Yep, strange. Bottoms up...

Monday, April 20, 2009

Get a Life

RB: Ok girls, time to go. There's the door. Get the hell out of here. I'm kicking you out.

Paige: Kicking us out?! Why? What did we do?

RB: You're not doing anything. That's the problem. I'm tired of all the crumbs on the couch and... geez, you drank all my Kahlua and Bailey's?! It's time you two get a life. And no, Guitar Hero and endless reruns of Charmed does not count as a life. Go. Scoot. Get outta here. Come back later and we'll talk.

Monica: Nooo! It's scary out there. Besides, we're dolls. We can't go anywhere without you. Pout

Paige: Yeah. How do you propose we go and get a life? We're not actually alive, or haven't you noticed?

RB: Look Paige, Monica. I love you both. But consider this an intervention. The thing is, this is a blog, and here you can do whatever you want. I know you love hanging out and having fun, but don't you think it's about time you expanded your horizons? Actually go out and live instead of sitting around here bickering about who has the better hair, dress, or the highest score at Dance Dance Revolution?

Paige: I'm not sure I'm following. I thought you liked having dolls at home.

RB: I do! But girls, the thing is that there is more to being a doll than just hanging out at home. Paige, I know you've been thinking of going back to college. Monica, don't you think it would be fun to actually have a job? Here you can do whatever you want. Why don't you?

Monica: Wait, what is this really about?

Paige: Yeah, what's really going on here. I thought you liked the way things were.

RB: Well, I admit that I've been reading your blog and... well, how do I put this. It's great and all, but you two are always doing the same thing. You make fun of Monica, Monica makes fun of you. You get new clothes, she steals them and shows them off. It gets old. I just think you could be doing so much more.

Monica: You're kidding, right? You want this blog to be some sort of soap opera?! Can you say boring? Geez.

Paige: She's right. Is this one of those writing things? You think that shaking things up will give you more creative leeway or something? Well, it's our blog, not yours. We can do whatever the hell we want.

RB: Well, then why don't you?

Paige: Well, you know. There's the doll thing. Then there's, well, you know, human things. We're not, you are. You know what I mean.

RB: Uhm... dolls don't talk. Or write blogs. So why stop there?

Monica: Well... hmmm... maybe he's right.

Paige: Sis, how can you say that?

Monica: Well, you know, after that Coverdoll spread I did wonder what it would be like to actually be that sexy secretary. That would be so fun.

Paige: You mean you would turn your back on RB and play with other boys?

Monica: Oh god no. RB is my man. But that doesn't mean I can't have a little fun leading people on. Evil Grin

RB: Don't go nuts there, Monica. You still have to come home to me, and I read the blog. Glare

Monica: Hey, you started it. I'm starting to like the idea. Yeah, let's do it.

Paige: Hmph Maybe. But if I go to school, well, things might not go so well.

RB: Like what?

Paige: You know, classes.

RB: What, like taking tests? Writing papers? Failing?

Monica: Sis, afraid of failure? I never would have guessed.

Paige: Oh shut up. You know, it's just different. Here I get to read stuff. There it actually has to mean something. Sigh Ok, ok. I'll do it. But if this doesn't work out I'm never leaving this house again.

RB: Good. Good. Trust me, it'll be alright. Ok, I got you both keys. Here. Now go have lives. I'm looking forward to reading all about them.

Paige: Damn, it's bright out there. You sure about this, sis?

Monica: Yeah, why not? Remember, we're still dolls. We can't get hurt. So what could go wrong?

Paige: Uhm, getting a life means having life things happen to us. You know, like zits.

Monica: What?! He didn't say anything about that! Maybe this isn't such a good idea.

Paige: Too late. Now out with you. Shove

Monica: Nooo...

Paige: I'm right here with you, sis. Now let's see what's out there...

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Living in a Doll's World

Monica: Hey, sis, I hear you may have been wrong about your favorite show.

Paige: Maybe. Fox hasn't officially canceled, and the word of broken down sets may just be a location change, but knowing Fox it probably is. Wouldn't be the first time they didn't tell anybody of a cancelation until the last moment. But I suppose I should wait for the final word before depression sets in.

Monica: Cheer up. There's hope, right? And when there's hope...

Paige: There's what?

Monica: Singing. Lots and lots of singing. Hell, I'll sing when there isn't any hope.

Paige: Oh god no, don't sing. The last time you sang the cat thought you were in pain and started mewling with concern.

Monica: Then you better stop this funk. I hear a tune coming on.

Paige: Well, we wouldn't want that to happen. Speaking of happenings, what have you and RB been working on upstairs?

Monica: Ooh, yes. The room. The doll room. You'll love it. Here, take a look.

See, we have a couch, a bookshelf with wig stands, some lighting, even a painting!

Paige: Sweet!

Monica: There's more to come, of course. RB haven't finished setting everything up. He still hasn't unpacked from the move, shame on him. Oh, and here's the other side of the room.

And look, our stand even fits in the closet so we can have a little privacy!

Paige: Nice... Wait. Is that a new outfit?

Monica: Oh yes, do you like it? Here's a close up.

Paige: Where'd you get that? And why haven't I tried it on yet?

Monica: Ooh, RB and I were going to tell you. It was for me. Just me. A gift from a very dear friend of ours, and passed along by Zoe and Mandie, bless them. I'm not sure he wishes to be named here yet, but I think I'll give him a big kiss the next time I see him. And my love to Zoe and Mandie for sending them to us. I love it! And the others, of course.

Paige: There are others?!

Monica: Why yes. See? This first one is really cute...

And this one is adorable. I was feeling a little rough and tumble here. Wink Can you tell RB and I have been working on getting more natural lighting? Still needs a little tweaking, but we were amazed it came out this good. Just have to get rid of those darned shadows...

Paige: But... but...

Monica: Paige, you are such an attention whore. You usually get all the first scores, so it's my turn now.

Paige: I'm the attention whore?! Looking around Wait, are we talking about the same dolls? I don't see anyone else here.

Monica: Well, everyone thinks you're just adorable. You're the cute one, the smart one... Everybody refers to me as your sister and not the other way around, you know? Our friend just thought maybe I deserved a little something just for me.

Paige: Hmmm... Well, ok, I guess. It's not like I ask for the attention, you know.

Monica: Yeah, right. You can't help being beautiful, you're just made that way?

Paige: Well... yeah. We are dolls, after all.

Monica: Sticks tongue out

Paige: Right back at'cha sis. Those are darned cute. Let me try them on sometime?

Monica: Maybe, if you're nice to me.

Paige: I'll be extra nice, with sugar on top.

Monica: On top? I don't think sisters are supposed to do that sort of thing. Smirk

Paige: Rolls eyes You know what you mean.

Monica: Just teasing, sis. Just teasing. Smile

Saturday, April 4, 2009

The Fall of a Rising Doll

Monica: Oh for god sakes don't do this.

Paige: Why? Why shouldn't I?

Monica: It's embarrassing, that's why.

Paige: Well, it must be done. The fallen must be honored.

Monica: Oh you have to be kidding.

Paige: Oh shush and let me do this. This is hard enough to say. Ok, I'm ready. Well, today I wish to give tribute to the fall of one of dolldom's greatest stars. We have just learned that Cameron, the greatest doll of all and star of The Sarah Connor Chronicles, will be no more. Next week's episode will be the show's last, and for this we bow our heads in honor and mourning for the passing of yet another famous doll.

Monica: Oh for heaven's sake. It was just a TV show...

Paige: Shush, this is a sad moment. Now for a moment of silence.

Monica: Yeah, right. Are you sobbing? You are such a geek.

Paige: Can't you be serious even once? This is important! Our greatest representatives to the public are leaving us, one by one. Who will be left to speak for the dolls?

Monica: Well, there is the other greatest TV doll, an actual doll, in fact; Echo.

Paige: Sigh Yes, at least we still have her.

Monica: Then I suppose I shouldn't say that Dollhouse's rating have been in the toilet too.

Paige: I blame Fox, the bastards. Messing with Joss Whedon! Nobody should mess with the master. First Battlestar leaves us...

Monica: I will miss those number eights...

Paige: Not to mention the sixes. Oh Caprica, why have you forsaken us?!

Monica: Ahem... can we say "Geek"?

Paige: Now Echo must carry on the torch. We give her our blessings, please may she carry the word of dolls everywhere with head raised high and with pride.

Monica: Amen. Ok, you done?

Paige: I'm done. Sniffle

Monica: Ok, here's a tissue. It'll be ok. There, there...

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

The Watchers

Monica: So who watches the Watchmen?

Paige: We do. I mean did. Twice.

Monica: Yeah, it was pretty sweet.

Paige: Sweet?! It wasn't just sweet. It was fantastic! It was awesome! I so loved it. It was the comic book, but bigger and brighter on the big screen. If you're a fan of the book, I think this is the best movie interpretation they could have done, short of the inevitable director's cut, which I must say I'm greatly looking forward to.

Monica: Well, it was pretty good.

Paige: Huh. You're not exactly showing the enthusiasm.

Monica: Oh, I liked it, don't get me wrong. Just not like you did.

Paige: Well, if it wasn't the bestest thing you ever saw, what do you think about it?

Monica: Uhm... well... How do I put this... How old are we?

Paige: Do you mean human years or doll years?

Monica: Human, I guess. It's hard enough thinking in doll time.

Paige: Well, I suppose we're about twenty one?

Monica: Yeah, that sounds right. So the movie takes place in 1985. So what the hell do we know about 1985? We're the 9/11 generation, sis. I don't know anything about that Vietnam stuff. Talk about hard to relate. And who the hell is Richard Nixon to me? That is so yesteryear. I have enough trouble thinking about last year let alone twenty!

Paige: Well, I suppose you might be right. But RB filled me on everything. He was an '80s kid after all. But hey, if you know anything about the cold war, just imagine what a difference those superheroes would have made. It's mind blowing. They were amazing, even if they didn't have super powers. Well, everyone but Dr. Manhattan.

Monica: Yeah, and what's with that? They're all like... normal screwed up people. Iron Man was awesome, even if he did drink like a fish. Spiderman was awesome, despite his being all nerdy. But that Rorschach guy? He was just mean and paranoid, and let's not even talk about his issues. I do have to say, though, Dr. Manhattan had a really nice... butt. Giggle

Paige: Uhm, yeah. He was... well formed. But besides that, I think that's the whole point of the movie. Before Watchmen the comic came out, every comic was like Spiderman and Iron Man. They just weren't really human, you know? And now this movie is doing the same thing. Every bad review I've read said just what you said. It wasn't Spiderman. Well no duh! It's not supposed to be. I'm hoping this movie does to Hollywood what Watchmen did to comic books. I'd like to see things with real people, not all that feel good fluff. No wonder Hollywood has been complaining that people aren't watching movies like they used to. It's because they keep coming out with mindless crap.

Monica: Hey, I like mindless crap... I mean light entertainment. I don't want to go to movies to watch depressed people. I just want to have fun and not think for a couple hours.

Paige: That's because you don't like thinking in general. No wonder you didn't like it. All you do is go see stuff like Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Huff

Monica: I did not go see Paul Blart. Even I have my limits. And I didn't say I didn't like Watchmen. I did. I just wasn't all jump around excited. You can't seem to sit still for one minute thinking about it.

Paige: That's because it was perfect. A perfect movie about a perfect comic book.

Monica: Well, I can think of better things to get all hot and bothered about. In fact, there's one thing around here that can get me wiggling in my seat. Where is RB anyway?

Paige: Sigh He's around here somewhere. I think he said something about re-reading the comic.

Monica: Oh goody. I think it's time for a little distraction from all that depressing stuff.

Paige: You know, sometimes he just likes having an intellectual conversation. That's why we get along so well.

Monica: Talk is for pansies. I like to get more... physical. Smirk

Paige: Ah. Now I know what you really liked about Watchmen. I think a little scene aboard Archie may have been to your liking.

Monica: Yeah, I can see being really worked up after a good fight. And those costumes were pretty swank, especially peeling out of them.

Paige: Ooh, grand idea. I'll see if I can find a Silk Specter outfit somewhere.

Monica: Now you're talking. Nothing like a little spandex to get the blood pumping.

Monday, March 2, 2009

The Watchmen

Paige: Hey sis. I think we're really overdo for a conversation. What do you say?

Monica: Oh oh.

Paige: What?

Monica: This is going to be one of those, isn't it.

Paige: I have no idea what you mean.

Monica: Well, you have that serious look, which I know means that today's title has nothing to do with the upcoming movie and that you want to say something serious. I really hate serious. I told you I hate serious, right? Really. Hate. Serious.

Paige: Well, it can't be all fun and games, now, can it?

Monica: Well, why not?

Paige: Because. RB has been really struggling lately. He's had a lot on his mind, and I think it's our duty to help him sort it out. Don't you?

Monica: Sigh Well, I'll do anything for RB. You know that. But geez, do we have to, you know, be serious?

Paige: Sorry, no other way to do it.

Monica: Oh, ok. I suppose. Slump

Paige: Ok, I wanted to talk to you about guilt.

Monica: Oh you have got to be kidding! Why should I feel guilty about anything?

Paige: See! That's what I need. I didn't mean you should feel guilty. I figured you could help RB figure out all this guilt stuff he's been going through. Who better than you to set him straight?

Monica: Oh, I feel so honored.

Paige: Well, you are the expert.

Monica: Hey, if RB should feel guilty about anything, it's that he's feeling guilty. I know he's one of those new age sensitive guy types, and that's sweet and all, but really, he needs to get a grip. He's not doing anyone any favors. Guilt isn't about dealing with your stuff, its about running away.

Paige: Ooh You got that right. He really has been running away from things. Poor guy has even been hiding away from his friends. That's why I thought we'd speak up. If he won't, who else will?

Monica: Well, if you put it that way, then he should forget all this guilt crap. If anything he should be ashamed of himself.

Paige: Hey, be nice!

Monica: No, really. I mean, RB hates causing others pain, right? The guy can't smash a mosquito without feeling bad. So if he's feeling guilty it's because he feels bad about hurting others. But by running away that's exactly what he's doing. What did you tell me about that class you took? Shame based versus guilt based cultures, right? Well, someone needs to slap him upside the head and set him straight because all that internal struggle stuff isn't doing him any good. Now that's a good use for shame.

Paige: You shouldn't use my words against me, or RB. It's not good.

Monica: But am I wrong?

Paige: No, you're not wrong. Sigh

Monica: So there. I'm always right.

Paige: Oh, I didn't say that.

Monica: You might as well have. The blonde is always right. But hey, not to change the subject, which I most definitely want to do, but what's with today's blog title anyway?

Paige: Well, the movie is coming out tomorrow, and I'm so looking forward to it, but I thought it might make a good metaphor for what RB has been going through.

Monica: How so?

Paige: Well, part of the problem is that he feels he's been taking all the responsibility for stuff. The thing is, one person can never be responsible for everything. It takes at least two to have a conflict. So if someone is screwing up, who takes the responsibility to fix it?

Monica: Oh, I get it! Uhm... everyone has to to take responsibility. Who watches the watchmen? The watchmen watch each other!

Paige: Not bad. Plato would be proud. Yes, that's what I mean.

Monica: Still, I believe we can only be responsible for ourselves. So how does that fit in?

Paige: Yeah, you're right. Still means RB can't do it all by himself. He's feeling guilty because he thinks he fell down on the job, so to speak, but there was no way he could do the job by himself.

Monica: Well then, he should stop feeling guilty, shouldn't he. Smile

Paige: Oh so clever. Yes, you're right. You're always right. I worship at your feet you're so right.

Monica: Ah, now that's the way it should be. Mind massaging my foot while you're down there? Yes, a little to the left. That's it...

Thursday, January 29, 2009


RB: Hey girls!

Paige: Oh, hey.

Monica: Hi there. What's up?

RB: Uhm, girls, aren't you excited? Today is a special day.

Paige: Huh? Oh, yeah, my priest is just a few bars away from level 80. I think I might get there today.

RB: Huff No, it's not about Warcraft.

Monica: What? Something wrong? You're going on another trip? You're not storing us in that silly crate again, are you?

RB: No, for heaven's sake. I'm not going anywhere. You mean you don't remember? Geez, I thought all girls remembered this stuff.

Monica: No idea what you're talking about. 

Paige: Yeah. You're going to spill the beans, or what?

RB: It's you're birthday, girls. You arrived on my doorstep one year ago today. Well, the old doorstep, but you know what I mean.

Paige: Gasp Oh my god!

Monica: Squee! Oh my... You're right. Sis, how could we forget?!

Paige: I think I tried to erase that awful trip from from my mind.

RB: Well, no need. You're safe and sound here. Happy birthday, girls. I love you both.  Hug... Hug...

Monica: I love you, RB! Kiss

Paige: I love you too. Kiss... French kiss...

Monica: Hey you two, get a room.

Paige: Great idea. 

Monica: Hey! Not without me you're not.

RB: Down girls, down. I love you both. Equally.

Monica: You better.

RB: Well, I was thinking of something special. Cake sound good?

Paige: What you trying to fatten us up?

RB: Huh? You look great. Not like you have to worry about it. But if not cake, cupcakes then? With candles?

Monica: I want the good frosting. Not that cheap crap.

Paige: Uhm, why don't we skip the cupcake and go right to the frosting?

Monica: Now you're talking, sis. 

RB: Blush Well, I wouldn't complain.

Paige: Excellent. Evil grin

Monica: You go get it. I think this calls for a little dress up. Give me some time to look pretty for you.

Paige: Or dressing down.

Monica: That too. Smile

RB: You two always look pretty, just as you are.

Monica: In that case, sis is right. We'll just throw the clothes on the floor and call it good. See you upstairs when you're ready.

Paige: Yep. And hurry. We might not be able to wait.

RB: Uhm... yes, of course. Right away.

Paige: And you folks out there, shoo. We're busy.

Monica: We talk to you later though. Wink

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Fancy Pants

Paige: ...dum dum de de dum...

Monica: Hey, sis, whatcha humming?

Paige: Oh, you know. Code Monkey. Been on my mind ever since the concert.

Monica: Oh, tell me about it. I can't get Re: Your Brains out of my head.

Paige: How come that doesn't surprise me one bit. I hope it doesn't give you any ideas.

Monica: Oh, yeah. Like I'm going to start getting hungry for brains.

Paige: You know, there is an opening there that is just too obvious for me to step through.

Monica: What do you mean?

Paige: And see? There's another one. But hey, that reminds me. I realize that folks out there may have no idea what we're talking about either. We went to a Jonathan Coulton concert last Saturday. Oh my god is he a blast. If you don't know who he is, let me tell you, run, don't walk, to his website and check him out. He's a great musician and the funniest thing since, well, him. He and the dynamic duo of Paul and Storm put on a really wonderful show. See, I took a picture.

Monica: Geez, what did I tell you about your photography? And I don't see Molly. Don't forget Molly, sis. Molly! She was great!

Paige: Oh, yeah. Can't forget her. She plays one mean ukulele. Hey, you there! You think I'm joking? Uke's are nothing to laugh at. You should see her cover of Britney Spear's Toxic if you think I'm lying. But that wasn't the kicker. Oh no. Her song My Hope was a hoot! I'll never think of MySpace the same way again.

Monica: Hey sis, I think you're going a little heavy handed with the links there. You sure the intertubes haven't taken over your brain?

Paige: Huh? I have no idea what you could mean.

Monica: Well, why don't you tell folks what you were doing there while you were humming along, minding your own business?

Paige: What?! I was just playing World of Warcraft. What's wrong with that?

Monica: Huh. That seems pretty obvious. You're such a geek!

Paige: I am not a geek.

Monica: Yeah, right. And what's your favorite Youtube video of Code Monkey? Here, let me show everybody.

Now isn't that just the geekiest thing you've ever seen?

Paige: Well, I think it's... cute. Pout I mean, it's two of the best things out there, all in one!

Monica: I rest my case. Can you say "nerd"?

Paige: Well, yeah, and damn proud of it, too. Why don't you go preen somewhere else, Miss Fancy Pants. I have a game to play. My priest is almost level 80.

Monica: Well enjoy yourself. Since you're too busy I'll go see what RB is up to.

Paige: Uhm, yeah, ok. See ya'. Later. Hmmm... maybe she's right. I don't need the internet, right? I mean... ooh, nice wand. Well, maybe I'll play just a little bit more... 

Monday, January 19, 2009

Home and Hearth

Paige: Whew! Looks like we're all moved in.

Monica: Well, mostly. Place is still a mess. I keep stubbing my toes on boxes. My poor, poor toes.

Paige: If you'd helped more, maybe there wouldn't be any boxes and your poor toes would be perfectly safe.

Monica: Oh? If you'd stop trying to look slinky in front of the fireplace, maybe RB would be helping out more. He's the one with the big, strong back after all. See, I have proof...

Paige: Oh. Well, it was a very nice fire. I was just... getting comfortable.

Monica: I'd say you were trying to get RB comfortable, too. You were asking him if he liked the dress after all. And is that a new hairstyle?

Paige: Oh, yes, do you like it? Thought I'd see how I'd look with out the highlights, and it frames my face very nicely. And the dress! Of course I was asking RB about it. It was a wonderful Christmas gift from Zoe and Mandie. I can't thank them enough for it. You're one to complain. Didn't you like the dress they got you? And let's not forget those sexy shoes.

Monica: Blush Well, of course. The dress is great.

Paige: That's it? Just great?

Monica: Ok, ok. I love it. And I love how RB looks at me when I wear it. He gets this look in his eye which is oh so cute. Thank you Zoe! I have to worship at the feet of anyone who can help getting giving RB that look. I just didn't want to say anything.

Paige: Why? You're the last one I ever expect to hold anything back.

Monica: You know!  You just get so... I don't know. Smug.

Paige: Me, smug? Well, sometimes you deserve being put in your place, but I'm the last one to be throwing stones in this case. I do love how RB looks at us in those dresses. In case anybody was wondering, here is sis, looking pretty slinky herself, if I do say so.

Monica: Hey, let's not forget to show off those shoes. They are so pretty...

Paige: That they are, sis. Hey, didn't I see you trying out a new hairstyle yourself?

Monica: Well, yes. Not sure about it, though.

Paige: Well, mind if we all have a look and see?

Monica: Oh, ok. Here. I hope it doesn't look too bad. Be gentle.

Paige: Oh, that is so cute. You're adorable!

Monica: See! I don't want to be adorable. I want to be amazingly desirable.

Paige: Well, I'm not the one to ask. What does RB have to say?

Monica: He just gets shy and smiles. I have no idea what that means.

Paige: If I know him, it's a very, very good sign. I've noticed that the sexier he finds you, the quieter he seems to get. There was this one time... well, let's just say I think he likes it. Alot.

Monica: Well, ok. If you say so. Uhmm... I was just thinking. Do you think we should be showing off pictures of the house?

Paige: Ooh, you're right. We did promise, didn't we. I was just thinking about that whole privacy thing, though. You know. Do we really want all those people out there looking inside our house?

Monica: I love our house. We should show it off as much as we can. But I can see what you mean. Seems creepy, doesn't it, showing complete strangers around? But how about this? We can start with the living room, and then do pictures of us in a different room in future blogs.

Paige: RB was complaining about carrying us up the stairs, but yeah, that would be cool. Kinda like a fashion show, but the model is the house.

Monica: Heh Nice idea. Ok. Here is the living room. Kinda. Ignore the clutter, and the bad viewing angle.

Paige: You saying I'm not a good photographer?

Monica: Well, now that you mention it...

Paige: Ok, ok, you're right. Not my forte, I know. But this is what we got, so deal. 

Monica: There you go. The first of a series. Our lovely living room. And maybe one day my sis will learn how to take a picture and we'll show you a better one in the future.

Paige: Ok, I take back what I said about your being slinky.

Monica: Sorry, no take backs. I'm slinky and you're a lousy photographer.

Paige: Sigh. Ok, I'll practice. At least digital cameras make that easy. Kinda like some dolls I know.

Monica: Why you...!

Paige: Hee hee! Ok, we're signing out before my sister beats me up. See you all later!

Saturday, January 3, 2009

New Year, New Day

Monica: Squee! Hello everyone! Here is the great Pacific Northwet, we're celebrating not only a new year, but a new home as well.

Paige: And what a long road it has been, let me tell you. For those of you living in far off places where news it just something rumored to exist just over the next hill, our home city had a snow storm that shut down the everything, and I mean everything, for a week. Our movers were snow bound as well, so we were stuck living out of boxes until everything melted. We're finally here, though, at long last.

Monica: Oh... my... god, I'm glad that is over.

Paige: You kidding?! Nothing over about it. While you've been sitting on your lovely little tush drinking mint julips, RB and I have been working. There is so much unpacking to do! Plus, this was a foreclosed house, too. The place had been stripped so we have to replace every appliance down to the door knobs. 

Monica: Believe me, I've been breaking a sweat watching you. Need something to drink?

Paige: No, I'm good. Wait, is that a mimosa?

Monica: Why yes, it is. Very tasty. Slurp

Paige: Oh god! I was wondering where our orange juice was going. And I thought I was joking about the drinks.

Monica: Burp Well, something had to be done with the leftover champagne from new year's eve.

Paige: Hey, not our fault we didn't finish moving until earlier that day. I was too tired to stay up late.

Monica: Well, I've given the old champagne new life. No crime in that.

Paige: The crime here is you not helping out.

Monica: I help plenty. I'm what they call good for moral. Speaking of which, Claire's last comment mentioned something about you in a Devo hat and a whip. I thought this new tune from Devo would be a better inspiration for you while you work.

Paige: Ooh, sweet. I didn't know they were coming out with anything new... hey! Stop distracting me.

Monica: But that's my job. You want me to do my job, right?

Paige: Sipping mimosa's and searching YouTube is not a job.

Monica: Yeah, you're right. More like a calling. Speaking of which...

Paige: Sigh Well, I think we lost her to the intertubes. She hasn't been the same since we got our network connection back. I guess that's my queue to go unpack another box. We'll talk to you all again soon!