Tuesday, April 29, 2008

RB and the RealDoll

Monica: It's hard to believe that RB had never seen Lars and the Real Girl before yesterday.

Paige: Yeah, I know. I love that movie, but it's been like pulling teeth to get RB to watch it.

Monica: Did you see him? Tears in his eyes the entire time. The sucker. I love him for it.

Paige: It was adorable. It's a very moving movie. I think he avoided it this long because he was afraid he's see too much of himself in the main character, Lars. Seems he got that in spades. 

Monica: Well, that may be, but it doesn't make him any less of a lovable person. More so, I think. I think RB has begun to appreciate just what having us means. Not just sex, mind you. I mean the other stuff. The good and the bad.

Paige: Hey, sis, I think you're growing up. I didn't think you thought there was anything more to a doll than sex.

Monica: What, you kidding me? I know better than that. Owning a doll is an experience, not just about having a giant sex toy. I don't mind playing sex kitten to RB, but I know that having us puts him in a whole different world. That can be real hard. Having a doll is not all fun and games. He made some real trade-offs when he got us. You have to appreciate that.

Paige: Yeah, with all the huff about people laughing at doll owners recently. But I think that having a doll is also about connection, about reaching out. In the movie Lars came alive when Bianca came into his life. Without her he couldn't have done what he did. So as much as dolls are perceived to separate a person from life, I think they're more about trying to become a part of it.

Monica: I hear ya. Absolutely right. Well, that and sex. Hee hee 

Paige: Hah! I knew it. You just had to go there.

Monica: Sis, I never left. I just look at the bigger picture is all.

Paige: Yeah, right.

Monica: Damn right. You need to learn to chill, Paige. Take me for example. Getting a little sun gives you a perspective. You should use me as a shining example of doll-hood and take a little time off to smell the salty air.

Paige: Uh, Monica dear, are you nuts?! Spring is barely here, and the last time I stepped outside I got goosebumps from the cold. You were lying in the sun in the living room!

Monica: Sis, the way I look at it, the sun goes where you are. I was just making the best out of what good weather we had, and I had a wonderful time. And I didn't even need to leave the house. Now that's a vacation!

Paige: You're a strange, strange girl, you know that?

Monica: Maybe true, but I'm a happy girl. I got my sis, my boy, and my sunblock. What more could I ask for?

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Here's to Dolls!

Paige: People suck.

Monica: Yes, sis. They do that sometimes. They're usually not very good at it, but...

Paige: Lalalala... I don't want to hear any more! Geez, can't you think of anything besides sex? I wasn't talking about that.

Monica: Well, you're the one talking about sucking. What else sucks?

Paige: People. In general. They suck. Well, some people, at least. It just makes me sick how bigoted and mean some humans can be.

Monica: Oh. Yeah, that's true. RB was telling me something like that. You talking about that thing with the Doll Forums?

Paige:  Yep. Maybe you can tell me why a group of people would pretend to go onto the forums and post fake questions just so they can laugh at the responses on another forum? 

Monica: Sorry, sis, I can't. I can't imagine why anyone would do that with better things to do, like go on a date, drink alcohol, and have sex. Hmmm... maybe that's your answer. They can't get dates, and they're jealous of people who can always have the company of a beautiful woman who will never turn them down?

Paige: Heh. You may be right. What's terrible though is that they were martial artists. Mixed martial artists, mind you, but still. I know those mixed martial art types have like ADHD when it comes to martial arts and stuff, but you'd think they'd have more respect than that. RB mentioned that he's never met a mixed martial artist in his life who wasn't full of himself, but I really had higher hopes. You'd think that any study in martial arts would instill in people a sense of respect for others, but I guess not.

Monica: It's never too late to be disappointed, Paige.

Paige: Yeah, I guess so. Sigh...

Monica: Well, cheer up, girl. I wouldn't let it get you down. We're the ones having all the fun, after all. Personally I'd rather be infamous than ignored.

Paige: Yeah, I guess so. RB was pretty bummed, though. For the first time I think he understood what many in the gay or minority community have felt. What it means to be dehumanized because you're different. 

Monica: Then we're all in good company. But look at it this way. The only people being dehumanized are the people making fun of us, and they're doing it to themselves. We don't have to lift a finger.

Paige: Huh. Yeah, good point. I guess that's what they mean when they say "what goes around comes around."

Monica: Damn straight, girl. Now you're getting it.

Paige: So when did you get to be so wise?

Monica: When I realized that I had better things to think about than worrying. Take our new dress. Now that's something to brag about. 

Paige: Uhm, ok. I guess you're right. Absotively right, in fact. Cheers to that!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008


Monica: You know what? I just reread our last post. My god do we wander. You'd think we were a couple of blonde airheads trying out for a pageant or something. I have no idea what we were trying to say.

Paige: Uhm, speak for yourself, sis. I'm the only brunette here. 

Monica: Hey! Well... you dye your hair. What is with those streaks, anyway? That's so yesterday. Anyways, you have to treat me nice now. I'm a model!

Paige: Oh? It came out? We can tell everyone?

Monica: Oh yes, it came out. We're in CoverDoll! It's THE magazine for dolls. Playboy, eat your heart out. And not only are we famous, but I'm on the cover!

Paige: Sis, that is so hot! And I am so jealous of you.

Monica: Happy dance Oh yes. I'm a model. Oh yeah, look at me... 

Paige: Clap! Clap! I'm so happy for you. Well, let me see here. Flip. Flip. Seems you're not the only one who gets to look beautiful in print. Take a gander at this.

Monica: Oh my god, sis. You look so adorable! You're like a snow bunny, fresh off the mountain, ready for a little fun with a ski instructor.

Paige: Blush Well, maybe if RB would take me skiing sometime...

Monica: Well, as you can see, I'll be RB's secretary any time.

Paige: Heehee Well, everyone, as you can see it's our turn for 15 minutes of fame. It's been fun, and RB has learned a lot about photography. We got more than a little help from his friends to make this happen. To give credit where it's due, many thanks to RB's RG (Real Girl, for those of you not in the know) in getting us dressed to kill, another thanks to a special lady for choreographing our stunning poses, and a special uber thanks for the guy with the camera who put it all together. Kisses and hugs to all of you.

Monica: And not to leave anyone out, I want to send a big wet kiss out to everyone at CoverDoll for inviting us to be in their magazine. You guys are so sweet!

Paige: Now, before we go, I just wanted you all to know that I personally believe that the reason that American's can't find their country on a map is because people are too poor to afford maps. So it is our obligation to make sure that maps are available to everyone who wants one.

Monica: Laughing Oh my god, stop, it. You're killing me.

Paige: Heehee Sorry, I couldn't help myself. Well, we have to go, but we'll be back later to tell everyone about our adventures as professional models. With more pictures, of course.

Monica: Very, very sexy pictures. See you all soon!

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

The Sound of Silence

Monica: Wow, so much is going on.

Paige: Yeah, just because we're not talking doesn't mean stuff isn't happening. Life is kinda like that.

Monica: Tell me about it. Being beautiful is hard.

Paige: For once I agree. I'm afraid our intrepid readers, however, may have to wait to hear about it. We hope to spring something big on them. Don't worry, we'll let you all in on our little secret when the time is right. Until then, though, it's gotten me thinking about a few things.

Monica: Oh, imagine that. Paige, thinking. Who would'a thought?

Paige: Yeah, yeah, sis. Geez. Feeling jealous, are we?

Monica: You're kidding, right? Brains come with baggage, I say. I like being who I am, and I don't worry about carrying the world on my shoulders like some people I know. 

Paige: I guess ignorance is bliss, then?

Monica: Grrrr....

Paige: Speaking of ignorance, this whole secret thing has been making think about secret identities. Funny thing, today RB actually had to think about whether or not to give out his real name to someone. Our guy is feeling a little funny about it.

Monica: Well duh! Who wants to walk around not being themselves?

Paige: Yeah. And look at us. We're dolls. Nothing real about us at all, except what we make of ourselves.

Monica: But isn't that true all the time, for everyone? Names are just labels. I tell you, just because I came with an booklet and handling instructions doesn't mean anybody really knows me.

Paige: Very well said, sis. But when you lead a double life like RB, it sure does become an issue.

Monica: Ooh, I like that thought. RB, secret agent. Mild mannered regular working stiff guy by day, suave doll handler and martial artist extraordinaire by night. That gives me a few ideas for later. RB can be my handler any day. Evil grin

Paige: Huh, somehow I can't seem to come up with a good comeback for that one. That is a pretty darn cool thought if you ask me. And not too distant from the truth.

Monica: Hey, remember the secret identity, girl. Don't spill the beans or we'll have to make you the evil double agent for our next play session. You know what happens to the double agent, don't you?

Paige: Uhm, yes ma'am! I wouldn't want that to happen. Ok, maybe a little. RB can interrogate me any day. But what I was trying to say before that damned James Bond music started playing in my head was that RB didn't really like hiding his name. Having us, though, has created a whole different life for him. I think he kinda likes the chance to re-create himself, to make a new identity for himself in the doll forums and such, but it also means putting the old him aside, the good along with the bad, so that he can keep a semblance of privacy.

Monica: Yeah, I can see that. He is a cool guy, even if he doesn't always know it. It would be nice if others knew it too.

Paige: Exactly. 

Monica: Well, that's the trade off, isn't it? Privacy vs. fame. Or infamy. I mean, we'll be dealing with something like that soon enough.

Paige: Speaking of letting cats out of the bag...?

Monica: Ooh, right. Mums the word. Lips zipped.

Paige:  Well, not so much a trade off as it is a balancing act, I think. Juggling privacy with the exposure of letting the world know your interests, no matter how unusual they may be. How would people feel if they knew he loved giant, life sized dolls like us? Most people would think it's cool, but some wouldn't. It's the infamy part he worries about. He just feels the need to be careful is all.

Monica: Yeah, careful. And juggling. I like juggling.

Paige: Uhm, yes, juggling. You ok?

Monica: Sorry, that got me thinking about Cirque du Soleil.

Paige: Oh, yeah. That's right. We just saw Corteo. My god, that was fantastic.

Monica: Yep. Sure was. Now if we could touch the tops of our head with our toes, think what we could do in the bedroom...

Paige: Sigh... Yes sis. Imagine indeed.