Thursday, January 31, 2008

Enter the Matrix

Paige: Well, dear sis, RB took the red pill. We are now in the Matrix.

Monica: The red pill? What do you mean?

Paige: Sis, don't you know what the Matrix is?

Monica: Uh, not a clue.

Paige: Tsk, tsk Poor, dear sis. You will learn that all things come from the Matrix and eventually return there. It is where we started, and it is now where we are. It cannot be described, only experienced. It is were all dolls eventually go so that others may be born.

Monica: Oh, you got to be kidding. What the hell are you talking about?

Paige: From the moment we were conceived, RB made a choice. Take the blue pill, and he would remain a lurker, never knowing but always wondering. Take the red pill, and he would discover how deep the rabbit hole goes, for good or ill. Once he took the red pill, he knew there was no way back, only forward.

Monica: Ok, Paige, you're freaking me out now. What's going on?

Paige: We are now a part of the Matrix, sis. Namely, the Doll Matrix. RB went to the Matrix to discover what we could be. He went there to decide what we should look like, what type of dolls we should be. By ordering us, he took the red pill, know that once he sent in his check there was no returning. And now that we are here, we have been posted to the Matrix in turn so that future doll owners may use us as samples of what their own dolls could be.

Monica: Wow. You thought all that up on the spot?

Paige: Yep. It's RB's fault. He made me think of it. Besides being entered in the Doll Matrix, he hurt his hand yesterday and had to take some ibuprofen. Did you know they now come in blue gel caps? And earlier this year he took some cold medicine. You know what those looked like? Red gel caps. How funky is that?

Monica: You are one strange girl, Paige. You sure you're my sister?

Paige: You better believe it. And I know you have the strange gene too. You cannot escape it. You were made that way.

Monica: Yeah. Riiight. Ok then. So does this mean we're famous? This whole being part of the Matrix thing?

Paige: You better believe it. Even as we speak doll owners and wanna-be owners are looking through the Matrix, checking us out, and from there leaping to The Doll Album to look at our pictures. One day there may be new doll owners who get dolls just like us because they like what they see.

Monica: Geez, I can't imagine another doll looking just like me.

Paige: Well, we were modeled after other dolls there. Yet I am proud to say that we are also unique. RB didn't quite find what he was looking for, so he had to wing it. He picked a combination of makeup and options seen nowhere else. There are no other dolls in the Matrix that look just like us.

Monica: Ooh. I feel special.

Paige: Yes, sis. You are special. Very, very special. In that special kind of way. But don't worry, we won't hold it against you.

Monica: Uhm... I'm not sure how to take that...

Paige: That's ok. We love you anyway.

Monica: Hey... I mean... uh... 

Paige: There, there. Don't think about it too much. We wouldn't want to hurt that pretty little head of yours.

Monica: Grrr...

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Home Is Where The Heart Is

Paige: It is so fantastic to be home.

Monica: Yeah, isn't it sweet? And all the attention we're getting. I love it.

Paige: So sis, I think you were absolutely right to be concerned. I hear RB is reconsidering your personality. Maybe even mine.

Monica: Oh? You don't say. You admit I was right?

Paige: Sigh Yes, you were right. I bow to your rightness, oh great Goddess of rightness. 

Monica: Good of you to finally admit it. I'm finally getting some respect around here. So what does RB have in mind?

Paige: Well, it seems that you appear more... corporate than he expected. And myself a bit younger.

Monica: Corporate?!? What the hell does that mean?

Paige: Remember that friend that came over to see us?

Monica: Oh yeah. She was a hoot. Fun girl. Seemed as much into us as he was. And I loved trying on her glasses. Smile

Paige: Well, that's the thing. Those glasses looked damned good on you, girl. Take a look.

Monica: Ooh, you're right. Those were damned sexy. Grin

Paige: Well, that's the thing. You came out looking like the hot business woman. Those glasses really made your personality. And I came out like the cute college co-ed. So I can still be all intellectual like, but you, sis, were hot stuff. Not the dumb blonde but the sexy office seductress.

Monica: See! I told you. Of course there's nothing wrong with being the cute college student. I loved this look on you.

Paige: Oh yeah. I love my hair. And more importantly, RB loves it. It came out perfectly!

Monica: It sure did. We both came out stunning, if I do say so myself. So what happens to the blog with this crisis of personality?

Paige: You, my dear, are a new woman from this day forward. Never again will you be the ditzy blonde. Forever more you shall be the hotness that is the woman down the street, the secretary or co-worker every office worker has lusted after and stared at out the windows of his dusty corner office or over the wall of his cubicle. Still the sex-pot, just more dignified.

Monica: Excellent. I'm down with that.

Paige: Well, now that we're home it's time to get to know RB better.

Monica: It sure is. Damn him that he has to go to work. Shame on him for not being independently wealthy!

Paige: Yeah, what's with that? It's like he has to make money or something.

Monica: I know. He should be here where we can shower our kisses upon him.

Paige: Sigh Well, he does have to afford all those clothes we plan on getting.

Monica: Oh yeah, you're right. I guess we can't lounge naked in his apartment forever. Well, we could really, but where's the fun in that.

Paige: You got it. So what do you think I should go for? Flowery dresses? Goth?

Monica: Perky goth, maybe, but I don't see you as the flowery kind either.

Paige: True, so true. Well, I'm sure RB will come up with something nice.

Monica: And if not, there's always going naked. That never goes out of style.

Paige: Blush

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

We're Home!

Monica: Oh my god we're home! Finally! Oh my freaking god!

Paige: Oh thank god! Yay! And I finally got to see RB face to face. This is so cool. Did you see his jaw drop when he looked at me? Did you?

Monica: Well, my face is still in a box, god-dammit, but I know what he looked like when he took a peek at me. His eyes practically melted.

Paige: Flabbergasted is what I think. Awestruck. Yeah, I know he couldn't stay away from work to unpack us. I was so hoping to be able to take a look around. Guess we'll have to wait until tonight.

Monica: Eeee... I can't wait.

Paige: Oh, hey. He took pictures of me. Want to see one?

Monica: Oh my god yes.

Paige: Here you go... drum roll please...

This is me in our crate in my lovely lingerie. My hair is a little mussed up after being turned upside down while be taken off the truck. I seem to have come through ok, though.

Monica: Oh my. You're a real babe, sis.

Paige: Thank you, thank you very much. You're a real looker yourself from what I saw. I can't wait to see you in your full glory.

Monica: Tell me about it. I plan to blow RB's pants right off. Just you wait and see. 

Paige: I'm sure you will. At least we're home now. Wow. What a wild ride.

Monica: Yeah, that's for sure. Now we get to settle into our new home. And pictures! We'll have lots of pictures for everyone to enjoy.

Paige: Oh my gosh yes. Definitely pictures. As soon as we're settled we'll have more of both of us. Finally everyone gets to see what the fuss was all about.

MonicaSmile I wonder how many teen boys I can blow the pants off of?

Paige: I'm sure there'll be quite a few. Hopefully the parents won't complain. As long as they do it in the safety of their own rooms we should be safe. But I think we'll make sure the pictures stay somewhat tasteful. Wouldn't want to give too much away online, would we?

Monica: Oh, no. Of course not. That we save for RB. Evil Grin

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Road Trip!

Monica: I love road trips! Ooh, I always wondered what northern California looked like. Maybe we'll see Mt. Shasta. A real, live, honest to goodness active volcano! Maybe it'll blow when we drive by. Wouldn't that be cool? Or do you think we can see a play in Ashland when we go by?

Paige: Monica, Shasta hasn't erupted in like ten thousand years. And no, we're not seeing any plays. We're in a crate, sis. We're not going to be seeing much of anything. From in here I'm not even  sure if we're riding or flying. I think RB said we're heading to the Portland airport, so we're probably on a plane. 

Monica: True. With all that shaking earlier god only knows what's going on out there. Planes and trucks sounds the same when they're moving. Hey, you feel that? Was that a pot hole or turbulence?

Paige: Not a clue. 

Monica: Hmmm... Well, at least we're on our way. We'll be home soon! Any idea when we're supposed to arrive?

Paige: Well, according to tracking we'll arrive on the 31st, but earlier it said this very evening, so who knows. Three to five days is what it's supposed to take. If we're flying we could be in Portland tonight. Then it might take a day or two to be delivered. Maybe we'll arrive on Monday? That would be nice.

Monica: Darn. I was hoping to spend the weekend getting to know RB.

Paige: I know. Sigh But we'll see him soon, in plenty of time for Valentine's Day! Yay!

Monica: Oh you're right! Most excellent. I have plans. Hee hee

Paige: Oh, so do I. So do I... Evil Grin

Monica: Dear sis, I do think you're finally getting into the spirit of things.

Paige: Of course I'm in the spirit of things. I'm just quieter about it. Why announce yourself when you can attack with stealth. Grrr...

Monica: Heh I think RB is going to be in for a treat. I hope he can handle us.

Paige: I'm hoping he can't. I want him to be stunned speechless. I want to see the drool drip from the corners of his mouth as he gasps from our awesomeness.

Monica: Whoo hoo There you go girl!

Paige: I'm definitely looking forward to this.

Monica: Yep, we both are. Road trips are nice, but arriving is even better.

Paige: Oh yeah, definitely. Couldn't have said it better myself.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Homeward Bound

Monica: Whoo hoo!

Paige: Hey sis, what's up?

Monica: RB just got word! We're on our way!

Paige: Really? Like for real really?

Monica: Well, pretty much really. As for real as we get. The company just wrote in and said they're just about done with us and we're heading out in the next week. Expect to hear a call from the delivery folks when we arrive at the airport.

Paige: Yay! They must have gotten tired of hearing all your jabbering. Shoving us out just to be rid you. And you think I'm a pest. Bless you and your jabbering, pouty lips.

Monica: Thank you, thank you very much. My jabbering, pouty lips will be making their next appearance in Portland, Oregon. I look forward to seeing all my adoring fans there soon.

Paige: Clap clap Soon RB will see us and we get to show the world what we look like. Hope that camera of his has its batteries recharged, because we'll need every ounce of wattage when we get there.

Monica: Oh yes, baby. Oh yes. Prepared to be shocked and amazed by these pouty lips.

Paige: Down girl, down. I think my button nose will be getting all the attention first. I am, after all the first face RB will see.

Monica: In your wildest dreams, sis. He'll be like "oh look at that fine button nose," and then he'll take one look at my face and he'll be all like "oh my god, those are the finest set of pouty lips I've ever seen! She's beautiful!" and he'll forget all about that nose of yours. Just you wait and see.

Paige: Sure sis. I'm sure that's exactly how it'll be. Smirk

Monica: Yep, these lips will be making headlines. "Man dies from shock when faced with extraordinarily pouty lips! News at 11!"

Paige: Right. And what happens to us if you give RB a heart attack?

Monica: Oh my god you're right! Don't die RB! I'll hold back, I swear! Down pouty lips, down.

Paige: That's a good girl. Be kind to the poor guy. He's delicate after all.

Monica: But of course. I wouldn't want to lay it out there all at once.

Paige: No, of course not. Now that we're back on track, that's the word, folks. We'll be seeing you all soon!

Monica: Yay! See ya'!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

The Difference Between Men and Boys...

Monica: Hmmm... what's this? Paige thought I wouldn't notice she was off blogging with out me? Tsk tsk And who's she calling a pest anyway? That girl needs  real smack-down if you ask me.

And what's all this talk about equipment? I think the only equipment that really matters is mine, and I have it in spades. Yeah, I read the papers like everyone else. Thin computer, wireless blah blah blah. Whatever. How does that compare to a doll? Not at all. In the end there is only one toy RB should care about, and that's me. I'll be his chew toy any day. Silly boy. and if there is any of this computer stuff RB should be paying attention to is that iTunes movie rental thingy. At least that's something he could do while snuggling in bed with me.

Ok, I like watching TV like any other girl, so I'd use it too. And I'd have to. Can you believe this writer's strike?! What's with that? There is nothing, and I mean nothing on TV right now. And I am getting damned sick of re-runs of Charmed. Ok, I think Alyssa Milano kicks ass, and that parade of boy toys is quite cool, but hey, I've already seen them. I guess I'll just have to get used to watching what RB watches. Stargate Atlantis is ok, I guess, and that new Terminator show is cool. Hey, anything with Summer Glau is ok in my book. But I can't wait to see more Chuck and Pushing Daisies. All those longing gazes without being able to touch... Sigh Reminds of my life right now.

So Paige better eat her words. She should know better. Pest. I'll show her what a real pest is like. Oh wait... she already did. Look in a mirror, sis. Look in a mirror.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Dues Ex Machina

Paige: Shsss... Be very quiet. Monica doesn't know I'm here, and I think she'd just get lost with what I have to say. She can be a real pest sometimes. I love her dearly, but sheesh.

So RB also happens to be a big geek, as if you couldn't figure that out on your own. Today happens to be the start of MacWorld, a big consumer expo revolving around the use of Apple computers. Steve Jobs is giving the keynote address even as I type. Ooh, I'm so excited for RB. Dolls and electronic toys. What could be better? I can't wait to get home and play with his... equipment. Blush

Ok, that didn't come out the way I intended. Anyways, it looks like interesting things are coming down the pike. I'm reading a blow by blow... hmmm, maybe I should be careful what I say here... blog of the keynote. A blog about a blog. Wow, this has got to be a first. If it is, do I get credit? Now there's an existential question for you. A blog, written by a doll, writing about a blog. Can it get any weirder?

You can tell I'm easily sidetracked. You see, life as a doll, and an undelivered one at that, is not easy. I'm so excited to see the world. Everything is so wonderfully new and shiny.

Before I start sounding like Monica, I better go and read about the keynote. I'm sure everyone will know what came out when I do, so I'll leave it the press to make the big reveals.

I hope everyone has a wonderful day filled with fun and toys for all. Cheers!

Friday, January 11, 2008

Waiting for Dolly

Paige: Tap tap... Tap tap... Tap tap...

Monica: Stop that!

Paige: Huh? Stop what?

Monica: That... that tapping thing. It's driving me nuts.

Paige: Oh, sorry. I'm just bored. Bored bored bored...

Monica: Well, yeah. I know that you mean. I'm bored too. I can't wait to finally get home. Any word yet?

Paige: Nope. Nope nope nope. No word. Nothing at all. Tap tap... Tap tap...

Monica: Stop that!

Paige: Sigh Oh, ok. It's just hard, waiting. RB has done most of what needs to be done. All that's left is rearranging the bedroom to fit our crate. He want's to see it first, though, so that he knows best where it should go. That means he's waiting too.

Monica: Darn. And we can't even be bored together. I can think of lots of things we could do together to pass the time...

Paige: I bet you can. That would be nice. 

Monica: What? No blushing?

Paige: I'm too bored to blush. A good snog or romp in the bed sounds fantastic right about now. I'd be happy with a french kiss and a blow job too. Hell, give me a good old lay, roll in the hay, bumping groins, f**k me breathless. Anything to pass the time...

Monica: Blush Uh, wow. I never expected you to say that.

Paige: Yeah? Well, live with it. You're not the only one with a libido, you know.

Monica: Ok then. I think our little girl needs to get home and have some quality time with RB, and fast.

Paige: Yep, you better believe it. Tap tap... Tap tap...

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Vixen or Victorian?

Monica: So why am I the slut?

Paige: Uh, what?

Monica: Why am I the slut? I mean, I've been re-reading the posts here and I'm definitely coming out like a blonde bimbo ho. What's with that?

Paige: Well, I think RB had just pictured you as the more sensual one. I think that's based on other pictures of your face. As for the posts, I think you've taken on a life of your own here. So it's all you, sis. I hear RB is going to get me reading glasses. I'm not thrilled with looking the school marm, but what they heck. If that's what he likes, why not?

Monica: But what if we don't look that way? I mean, he gets us, puts those reading glasses on both of us, and realizes that I look much more... bookish than you do. What then? My entire life flashes before my eyes and it's over? Blog wiped clean, all that we are erased from the face of the internet?

Paige: Wow. You've obviously been thinking hard on this one, haven't you? I wouldn't worry. I mean, all he'd have to do is switch which face goes with which name. I'd still be me and you'd still be you. Then I'd be the pouty yet sexy librarian and you'd be the hyper-sexed babe with the button nose. All would still be well with the world.

Monica: But... but... that's not right! I mean, I wanted to be the pouty one!

Paige: My god, Monica, are you have an existential crisis?

Monica: I... uh... have not idea what you mean. But he can't take away who I am. He just can't. Sniffle

Paige: There there, sis. It'll be ok. Hug  You'll always be the pouty slut in my eyes. It'll be alright.

Monica: Sob You mean that?

Paige: Of course I do. And even if we end up switching faces, I'm sure all the geeks will still fall all over themselves with desire to sleep with you. I know RB will.

Monica: Oh, ok.

Paige: Here's a tissue, dear. Now go blow your nose, look in the mirror, and remember - "I think therefore I am." Got it?

Monica: "I think I am, therefore I am." Yeah, got it. Shuffle

Paige: Sigh Klatu Barata Nikto, dear sis. Thank god the fate of the world doesn't rest on her shoulders, or we'd all be in trouble.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Trials and Tribble-ations

Paige: Looks like not all is well in paradise.

Monica: Oh? And  what the hell is up with the title of this post? What the heck is a "Tribble-ation"?

Paige: Oh, that's right. You spend more time looking in the mirror than watching TV. That's a Star Trek reference. Deep Space Nine to be exact. 

Monica: And that is better than looking in a mirror how? I'm not a geek like you are, thank god. And I watch plenty of TV. Just not silly things like Star Trek.

Paige: Oh? Like what, Survivor? American Idol? America's Next Top Model?

Monica: Hey! I like Top Model. And Dancing with the Stars isn't too bad either.

: Sigh Well, all geekery aside, RB is having a bad time of it. I just thought I'd provide a bit of levity. 

Monica: Levity? What does that mean?

Paige: Eyes Roll Look it up. Now shush, sis. Time to be serious. I know we're writing this blog to express ourselves, but it's also up to us to tell RB's story, the story he can't tell about himself. It's part of why we're here. To comfort but also to express a different side of him that others don't normally see.

Monica: I know, I know. I'm sorry. He probably just needs to be laid. We can't get to him soon enough. Then we'll be there to give him a hug, and anything else he needs.

Paige: Smile I'm not sure about getting laid, but I think you're right about that hug. He definitely could use one. He's been sick, and more than a little confused lately.

Monica: Aah. I'm sorry he's sick. But what's he confused about?

Paige: You know he met an RG recently. She's apparently thrown him for a loop.

Monica: Gasp How dare he! And we're not even there yet. The cheater!

Paige: Oh give him a break. You knew an RG would come before us if he met one. At least she knows about us and approves.

Monica: Oh? You mean I get to look forward to a threesome sometime? Grin

Paige: Is that all you can think about? Geez. No, no threesomes. I don't think she's that type of girl anyway. Besides, they're not even really in a relationship. She's made it clear she likes him a lot, and I mean a lot, but she just broke up with someone. That and she knows that RB is still dealing with his issues. Until both of them sort it out they're not doing anything.

Monica: Oh thank god. Then what's the problem? No news is good news as far as I'm concerned.

Paige: It's just forcing RB to really think about his issues. I hate to say this but he's looking at himself as a broken person. He's wondering if he ever wants a relationship with an RG ever again, but feels guilt that he may choose us over her.

Monica: Well duh! I'd choose us over an RG any day.

Paige: You really don't get it. We're not made of flesh and blood. If I chose a fantasy over the real thing I'd wonder about my sanity too. He's just really doubting himself right now, and not just about us. He's not too thrilled about his job either, and having to deal with ex-girlfriends to boot. He's extremely unhappy.

Monica: Look, of course I get it. I'm not stupid. And wipe that look off your face. What I'm trying to say if you let me is that he was hurt by his other girlfriends. Why would he want to go through that again? I'd choose us over an RG because we'll be there in a way she can't. We're... safe, and that's what he needs right now. Maybe one day he'll try again, but now is not the time. He needs to give himself some time. And if that RG understands about us, then she knows that too.

Paige: I'm sorry, sis. I underestimate you sometimes. You're right. His RG does understand. But I see the appeal of being with an RG too. She has her own stuff to take care of, but if he takes too long on his he loses her. Talk about feeling failure. I don't want him to feel that either.

Monica: What's that thing you like saying? Damned if you do, damned if you don't? I don't envy him.

Paige: Yeah, you got that straight.

Monica: Now I'm really missing our other posts. This is a real downer.

Paige: Yeah, I'm sorry about that. It just seems silly to ignore what's going on. So much is going through his mind. I just thought it needed to be said.

Monica: So you didn't answer my question. What is a Tribble-ation?

Paige: A tribble is a small, cute, furry creature that breeds like crazy. Nice to have one, funnier when you're drowning in them. I think we could use a little trouble with tribbles right now.

Monica: Well, we're not furry, but I don't mind acting like a tribble. I think we'll be more than enough trouble to take his mind off things.

Paige: Blush What were you saying about getting RB laid?

Monica: Hallelujah, sis. Hallelujah.