Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Four's Company

Monica: Hey, that looks good on you.

Alyson: Uhm, thanks.

Monica: Here, let me get that stray hair out of the way. Oh, that's perfect. You look way better than Paige in that, let me tell you.

Alyson: If you say so. But I think Paige is awfully pretty.

Monica: Oh, you kidding? You're way prettier than she is. Just don't say anything about it to her. She's very sensitive, you know. Darn, the light is bad here. Oh well, we'll just have to make due. Ok, I think we're done and ready for your debut. You good?

Alyson: Uh, yeah, sure. I think so.

Monica: Let's see, click here, upload there. I think I got it. Ahem... Mee mee mee...

Hello everyone! Monica here. Paige is off doing... well, something somewhere else. Anyway, I wanted to let everyone know that our sister Alyson arrived at our house safe and sound after a very long trip from lovely southern California. Poor girl is going to go pale here in Oregon, she looks great and is happy to be here. Why don't you say hello, Alyson?

Alyson: Uh, hi. Hello. Everyone.

Monica: She's a bit shy, but she's a darling. And if you're wondering what she looks like, here she is!

Isn't she beautiful? Now she didn't come up with much so she's borrowing from myself and Paige, of course. We're also having a lovely time hanging out together.

Alyson: Yeah, Monica has been real nice. Paige too...

Monica: Oh, our sister has been out and about lately. What with going to conferences and being all geek like, we hardly ever see her. Not like me. Some of us have to stick around and go to work and stuff. I'm taking a few days off so Alyson and I can hang out and get to know each other. Isn't that right?

Alyson: Uh, yeah, I guess.

Monica: Well, why don't you tell folks about yourself?

Alyson: Uhm, ok, sure. Well, I'm from south Cal, but you already know that. I like going to the beach, but not much of that around here. I think it's been cloudy the entire time I've been here. Let's see, I like reading, well, I guess you'd say it's non-fiction. My favorites are self help type books, you know. I mean, I just love learning about how people work and stuff, and helping people be better, and be better myself.

Monica: I didn't know that.

Alyson: Oh, I've been so busy since I got here I haven't had a chance to say anything. Oh, and I meditate because it calms me, you know? Beyond that I try to stay fit. I do hope RB has a bike. I'd really miss it if I couldn't bike. Well, I guess I could jog, you know, but you just can't go as far. I do hope to see more of the city. Anyway, I'm a vegetarian...

Monica: Cough You're vegetarian?!

Alyson: Oh yeah! It's really good for you. All that meat and fat just clogs the arteries, you know. Veggies are much better for you.

Monica: And here I thought you were just being picky at that restaurant.

Alyson: Oh, no. I love Indian food. That tofu with the spinach was fantastic. Ok, let's see... Oh, I do massage. RB really seemed to like have his back rubbed last night. I hope he liked it.

Monica: Uhm, yeah. I'm sure he did. Cough

Alyson: So I hear Portland is a great place for massage. There are like two schools in town. I looked it up online before I got here. Oh, and they have a school of oriental medicine. Isn't that great?

Monica: Yeah, great. Well, looks like you'll have lots to love in Portland. Big biking town, too.

Alyson: Oh, that's wonderful! Maybe there's a club or something I can join. I was part of a co-op down in San Diego.

Monica: Yeah, you can go join a club. Oh darn, I think we're out of time. Well, it's, uh, great to have you here. We're one big happy family, you know. I hope you like it here.

Alyson: Oh, I think I will. Thanks!

Monica: Talk to you all later, everyone. Ta ta!

Alyson: Bye!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

I want a girl with a short skirt...

Paige: Ok all you geeks out there, for those of you not in the know last week was Apple's World Wide Developer Conference. Now RB is a bit an IT oriented kind of guy and most definitely an Apple geek, so every year he takes his annual pilgrimage to worship at the foot of the Apple altar. Now I also love technology, and RB decided that since he can only go to so many sessions and can't be in two places at once, that I should go along and help. That means while he was off at IT sessions, I got to hang out at with the developers, learning all things Xcode and iPhone so I could pass the info along.

Now I'm sure that Monica will give me all sorts of flak for this, because she didn't get to go. As you recall from around this time last year both of us got to be there. Since my sister is blessed with a simpler and less technical mind, while I learned about then Mac OS X Leopard she was off flirting with the poor geek boys who had no idea what to do with her. This year, though, RB could only afford to take one of us along for the journey, and I, thank the computer gods, was the chosen one.

Now the highlight of this year was Snow Leopard, aka Mac OS X 10.6, and iPhone 3.0. I won't get too nerdy on you, but it's all cool. Apple is marching right along with uber-new technology. We are both under NDA so our lips and elegantly sealed. Needless to say we're both looking forward to their release.

Now, among those things we can talk about, is the traditional Apple bash at the Yerba Buena Gardens. Last year's guest band was Bare Naked Ladies. This year's was... drum roll please...


Whoohoo! It was a bit chilly but RB and I huddled with the crowded masses to enjoy a really cool show. Now if you doubt our attendance, here is our proof.

No, we did not tape the whole thing, and no, you can't have any more, so don't ask. We just offer this small sample as an offering to our readers, with prayers that neither Cake nor Apple will come and sue us for posting it. If you want more, please buy the song. Innocent Grin

Now in other news our sister Alyson will be arriving tomorrow. As soon as we've given her a chance to rest from her long journey and have gotten to know her a bit we'll invite her here to our lovely blog in the near future. Stayed tuned!

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Visits and Lamentations

Monica: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. This place is a dump!

Paige: Calm down, sis. It'll all be ready when Alyson gets here.

Monica: But we're not ready! I mean, RB has been biting his nails, and look at the stubs on my hands! I can't stand the waiting.

Paige: Look, we're fine, and she'll be fine. We have a great place. What's not to like? She'll have us and RB. We'll treat her well.

Monica: But, how often does one find out you have a half sister? I mean, it's not every day, you know. And she's coming to live with us! What if she doesn't like us? What if we don't like her?What if she's a bitch? Oh my god, what if she's a complete, raving lunatic?!

Paige: You have too many thoughts, sis. Besides, we're half sisters too. We get along, and we'll get along with her. Plus she sounded like a nice person on the phone. It's why I made the invitation. If we should be wondering about anything, it's what the hell was our father thinking? Geez, he got around.

Monica: Heh. Yeah, that's true. He was a bit of a horndog, wasn't he. Well, my mom said nothing but nice things about him.

Paige: Mine thought he was an ass. Oh well. Thank god we're not our parents.

Monica: Oh so true. Well, I sure do hope she likes us.

Paige: I think she will. Hmmm... I wonder how she and RB will get along.

Monica: Oh, do not go there.

Paige: Why? Think they won't?

Monica: Oh, no. I think they will. I think she'll come in all beautiful redhead like and sweep him off his feet. Damn him. Damn her. I'm going to hate her, I know it. She'll be all "look, aren't I beautiful?" and I'll want to vomit all over. It's hard enough between us. Three's company was one thing, but four?

Paige: Oh, good point. Is that why you did your hair? It's very pretty.

Monica: Oh, thank you. And maybe. I got it all conditioned. RB really likes how it feels. Is that why you did yours?

Paige: Uhm... no, of course not. Just needed a change is all. You like it?

Monica: Oh yes. Very stylin. I like. RB will like. Between us, Alyson doesn't have a chance.

Paige: Whispers Hope not.

Monica: What was that?

Paige: Oh, nothing, nothing at all. It'll be wonderful having her here. Really, really nice. Yes. Nice... Forced Smile