Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Life, the Universe, and Everything

Paige: Hey everyone, I'm home!

Monica: Hey, Paige.

Paige: Hey. Where's RB? I just wanted to thank him for... something. You ever get that feeling that something's changed but can't quite figure out what? That reminds me, what are you doing home?

Monica: Oh, RB is still at work, and I wasn't feeling well today so I stayed home. I have a cold and doesn't it figure, I think I hurt my wrist. Damned carpel tunnel. And yeah, I know what you mean. I got this feeling like... like I don't know. I called into work and it felt funny, wrong somehow. But it's work. The idea of work is just wrong, so it's probably nothing.

Paige: Well, I just had a great class. Have to write a psych paper for the end of the term, though. It's supposed to be explaining some behavioral process in a fun and interesting way. I thought I'd explain behaviorism in the same style as Plato's Republic. You know, using a Socratic dialog and all that.

Monica: Uhm, yeah... Ok. You go do that. I'll just... watch TV and relax, pet a cat, keep my head from spinning.

Paige: You should have RB look at that. He fixed my wrist awhile back. Some of that oriental whatever he calls it should do the trick.

Monica: Oh, he said he would. That modeling gig for Coverdoll way back really did a number on me. I don't think my body was meant to go that way.

Paige: That's true. Remember, you're not Gumby. Well, Pokey maybe, but not Gumby.

Monica: Grrr Yeah, right. You better go write your paper or you'll be feeling like Mr. Bill.

Paige: Heh Will do. Geez, wish I could remember what I was going to thanks RB about.

Monica: When you figure it out let me know. Till then, can you pass that over to me? I forgot my drink on the counter.

Paige: Uhm, is a Mudslide a good thing to drink when you have a cold?

Monica: I figure the alcohol will kill all the bad stuff running around my body. Oh, remember to tell RB he's out of Kahlua.

Paige: Huh. Some things feel different, but other things feel the same. Strange.

Monica: Yep, strange. Bottoms up...

Monday, April 20, 2009

Get a Life

RB: Ok girls, time to go. There's the door. Get the hell out of here. I'm kicking you out.

Paige: Kicking us out?! Why? What did we do?

RB: You're not doing anything. That's the problem. I'm tired of all the crumbs on the couch and... geez, you drank all my Kahlua and Bailey's?! It's time you two get a life. And no, Guitar Hero and endless reruns of Charmed does not count as a life. Go. Scoot. Get outta here. Come back later and we'll talk.

Monica: Nooo! It's scary out there. Besides, we're dolls. We can't go anywhere without you. Pout

Paige: Yeah. How do you propose we go and get a life? We're not actually alive, or haven't you noticed?

RB: Look Paige, Monica. I love you both. But consider this an intervention. The thing is, this is a blog, and here you can do whatever you want. I know you love hanging out and having fun, but don't you think it's about time you expanded your horizons? Actually go out and live instead of sitting around here bickering about who has the better hair, dress, or the highest score at Dance Dance Revolution?

Paige: I'm not sure I'm following. I thought you liked having dolls at home.

RB: I do! But girls, the thing is that there is more to being a doll than just hanging out at home. Paige, I know you've been thinking of going back to college. Monica, don't you think it would be fun to actually have a job? Here you can do whatever you want. Why don't you?

Monica: Wait, what is this really about?

Paige: Yeah, what's really going on here. I thought you liked the way things were.

RB: Well, I admit that I've been reading your blog and... well, how do I put this. It's great and all, but you two are always doing the same thing. You make fun of Monica, Monica makes fun of you. You get new clothes, she steals them and shows them off. It gets old. I just think you could be doing so much more.

Monica: You're kidding, right? You want this blog to be some sort of soap opera?! Can you say boring? Geez.

Paige: She's right. Is this one of those writing things? You think that shaking things up will give you more creative leeway or something? Well, it's our blog, not yours. We can do whatever the hell we want.

RB: Well, then why don't you?

Paige: Well, you know. There's the doll thing. Then there's, well, you know, human things. We're not, you are. You know what I mean.

RB: Uhm... dolls don't talk. Or write blogs. So why stop there?

Monica: Well... hmmm... maybe he's right.

Paige: Sis, how can you say that?

Monica: Well, you know, after that Coverdoll spread I did wonder what it would be like to actually be that sexy secretary. That would be so fun.

Paige: You mean you would turn your back on RB and play with other boys?

Monica: Oh god no. RB is my man. But that doesn't mean I can't have a little fun leading people on. Evil Grin

RB: Don't go nuts there, Monica. You still have to come home to me, and I read the blog. Glare

Monica: Hey, you started it. I'm starting to like the idea. Yeah, let's do it.

Paige: Hmph Maybe. But if I go to school, well, things might not go so well.

RB: Like what?

Paige: You know, classes.

RB: What, like taking tests? Writing papers? Failing?

Monica: Sis, afraid of failure? I never would have guessed.

Paige: Oh shut up. You know, it's just different. Here I get to read stuff. There it actually has to mean something. Sigh Ok, ok. I'll do it. But if this doesn't work out I'm never leaving this house again.

RB: Good. Good. Trust me, it'll be alright. Ok, I got you both keys. Here. Now go have lives. I'm looking forward to reading all about them.

Paige: Damn, it's bright out there. You sure about this, sis?

Monica: Yeah, why not? Remember, we're still dolls. We can't get hurt. So what could go wrong?

Paige: Uhm, getting a life means having life things happen to us. You know, like zits.

Monica: What?! He didn't say anything about that! Maybe this isn't such a good idea.

Paige: Too late. Now out with you. Shove

Monica: Nooo...

Paige: I'm right here with you, sis. Now let's see what's out there...

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Living in a Doll's World

Monica: Hey, sis, I hear you may have been wrong about your favorite show.

Paige: Maybe. Fox hasn't officially canceled, and the word of broken down sets may just be a location change, but knowing Fox it probably is. Wouldn't be the first time they didn't tell anybody of a cancelation until the last moment. But I suppose I should wait for the final word before depression sets in.

Monica: Cheer up. There's hope, right? And when there's hope...

Paige: There's what?

Monica: Singing. Lots and lots of singing. Hell, I'll sing when there isn't any hope.

Paige: Oh god no, don't sing. The last time you sang the cat thought you were in pain and started mewling with concern.

Monica: Then you better stop this funk. I hear a tune coming on.

Paige: Well, we wouldn't want that to happen. Speaking of happenings, what have you and RB been working on upstairs?

Monica: Ooh, yes. The room. The doll room. You'll love it. Here, take a look.

See, we have a couch, a bookshelf with wig stands, some lighting, even a painting!

Paige: Sweet!

Monica: There's more to come, of course. RB haven't finished setting everything up. He still hasn't unpacked from the move, shame on him. Oh, and here's the other side of the room.

And look, our stand even fits in the closet so we can have a little privacy!

Paige: Nice... Wait. Is that a new outfit?

Monica: Oh yes, do you like it? Here's a close up.

Paige: Where'd you get that? And why haven't I tried it on yet?

Monica: Ooh, RB and I were going to tell you. It was for me. Just me. A gift from a very dear friend of ours, and passed along by Zoe and Mandie, bless them. I'm not sure he wishes to be named here yet, but I think I'll give him a big kiss the next time I see him. And my love to Zoe and Mandie for sending them to us. I love it! And the others, of course.

Paige: There are others?!

Monica: Why yes. See? This first one is really cute...

And this one is adorable. I was feeling a little rough and tumble here. Wink Can you tell RB and I have been working on getting more natural lighting? Still needs a little tweaking, but we were amazed it came out this good. Just have to get rid of those darned shadows...

Paige: But... but...

Monica: Paige, you are such an attention whore. You usually get all the first scores, so it's my turn now.

Paige: I'm the attention whore?! Looking around Wait, are we talking about the same dolls? I don't see anyone else here.

Monica: Well, everyone thinks you're just adorable. You're the cute one, the smart one... Everybody refers to me as your sister and not the other way around, you know? Our friend just thought maybe I deserved a little something just for me.

Paige: Hmmm... Well, ok, I guess. It's not like I ask for the attention, you know.

Monica: Yeah, right. You can't help being beautiful, you're just made that way?

Paige: Well... yeah. We are dolls, after all.

Monica: Sticks tongue out

Paige: Right back at'cha sis. Those are darned cute. Let me try them on sometime?

Monica: Maybe, if you're nice to me.

Paige: I'll be extra nice, with sugar on top.

Monica: On top? I don't think sisters are supposed to do that sort of thing. Smirk

Paige: Rolls eyes You know what you mean.

Monica: Just teasing, sis. Just teasing. Smile

Saturday, April 4, 2009

The Fall of a Rising Doll

Monica: Oh for god sakes don't do this.

Paige: Why? Why shouldn't I?

Monica: It's embarrassing, that's why.

Paige: Well, it must be done. The fallen must be honored.

Monica: Oh you have to be kidding.

Paige: Oh shush and let me do this. This is hard enough to say. Ok, I'm ready. Well, today I wish to give tribute to the fall of one of dolldom's greatest stars. We have just learned that Cameron, the greatest doll of all and star of The Sarah Connor Chronicles, will be no more. Next week's episode will be the show's last, and for this we bow our heads in honor and mourning for the passing of yet another famous doll.

Monica: Oh for heaven's sake. It was just a TV show...

Paige: Shush, this is a sad moment. Now for a moment of silence.

Monica: Yeah, right. Are you sobbing? You are such a geek.

Paige: Can't you be serious even once? This is important! Our greatest representatives to the public are leaving us, one by one. Who will be left to speak for the dolls?

Monica: Well, there is the other greatest TV doll, an actual doll, in fact; Echo.

Paige: Sigh Yes, at least we still have her.

Monica: Then I suppose I shouldn't say that Dollhouse's rating have been in the toilet too.

Paige: I blame Fox, the bastards. Messing with Joss Whedon! Nobody should mess with the master. First Battlestar leaves us...

Monica: I will miss those number eights...

Paige: Not to mention the sixes. Oh Caprica, why have you forsaken us?!

Monica: Ahem... can we say "Geek"?

Paige: Now Echo must carry on the torch. We give her our blessings, please may she carry the word of dolls everywhere with head raised high and with pride.

Monica: Amen. Ok, you done?

Paige: I'm done. Sniffle

Monica: Ok, here's a tissue. It'll be ok. There, there...