Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Visits and Lamentations

Monica: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. This place is a dump!

Paige: Calm down, sis. It'll all be ready when Alyson gets here.

Monica: But we're not ready! I mean, RB has been biting his nails, and look at the stubs on my hands! I can't stand the waiting.

Paige: Look, we're fine, and she'll be fine. We have a great place. What's not to like? She'll have us and RB. We'll treat her well.

Monica: But, how often does one find out you have a half sister? I mean, it's not every day, you know. And she's coming to live with us! What if she doesn't like us? What if we don't like her?What if she's a bitch? Oh my god, what if she's a complete, raving lunatic?!

Paige: You have too many thoughts, sis. Besides, we're half sisters too. We get along, and we'll get along with her. Plus she sounded like a nice person on the phone. It's why I made the invitation. If we should be wondering about anything, it's what the hell was our father thinking? Geez, he got around.

Monica: Heh. Yeah, that's true. He was a bit of a horndog, wasn't he. Well, my mom said nothing but nice things about him.

Paige: Mine thought he was an ass. Oh well. Thank god we're not our parents.

Monica: Oh so true. Well, I sure do hope she likes us.

Paige: I think she will. Hmmm... I wonder how she and RB will get along.

Monica: Oh, do not go there.

Paige: Why? Think they won't?

Monica: Oh, no. I think they will. I think she'll come in all beautiful redhead like and sweep him off his feet. Damn him. Damn her. I'm going to hate her, I know it. She'll be all "look, aren't I beautiful?" and I'll want to vomit all over. It's hard enough between us. Three's company was one thing, but four?

Paige: Oh, good point. Is that why you did your hair? It's very pretty.

Monica: Oh, thank you. And maybe. I got it all conditioned. RB really likes how it feels. Is that why you did yours?

Paige: Uhm... no, of course not. Just needed a change is all. You like it?

Monica: Oh yes. Very stylin. I like. RB will like. Between us, Alyson doesn't have a chance.

Paige: Whispers Hope not.

Monica: What was that?

Paige: Oh, nothing, nothing at all. It'll be wonderful having her here. Really, really nice. Yes. Nice... Forced Smile


Zoe said...

Oh, you poor things. I hope you don't mind, but I shared your concerns with Alyson. First off, you two have NOTHING to worry about - Alyson is such a sweetheart (but you've gotten her all worried now. If you're not careful you might give her a complex; but I'll try to calm her down.) You two are going to love her. And from what I know of RB he's not going to let her replace either of you. So no jealousy allowed! *stern glare*

Second, she has a message for each of you. For Monica, she says that she really loves your new hairdo and hopes you'll keep it, and she wants to know how you like being a secretary. For Paige, she thinks studying psychology is fascinating and wants you to know that she's a fan of B.F. Skinner and wants to know who your favorite psychologist is (please please please not Freud.)

So you see, she's taken an interest in you. Don't worry. You three will get along just fine!


Claire said...

okay, you're going to have to explain this to me slowly, on account of i'm awwwwful at math. if the two of you are half-sisters, and now it turns out there are actually three of you, doesn't that make you third-sisters?

haha, that's a joke. at least, i think it is ...

Paige and Monica said...

Hey, Monica here. Heh, good point. Maybe we're a trinity? Paige keeps elbowing me to say we're a sisterhood trifecta. Wait, isn't a trifecta a horse race thingy? Are you comparing me to a horse? And who comes in first, anyway? No, you can't have the keyboard. Shoo. Go away. You're in enough trouble as it is. Just hope Alyson is a more reasonable sister than you are...