Tuesday, March 10, 2009

The Watchers

Monica: So who watches the Watchmen?

Paige: We do. I mean did. Twice.

Monica: Yeah, it was pretty sweet.

Paige: Sweet?! It wasn't just sweet. It was fantastic! It was awesome! I so loved it. It was the comic book, but bigger and brighter on the big screen. If you're a fan of the book, I think this is the best movie interpretation they could have done, short of the inevitable director's cut, which I must say I'm greatly looking forward to.

Monica: Well, it was pretty good.

Paige: Huh. You're not exactly showing the enthusiasm.

Monica: Oh, I liked it, don't get me wrong. Just not like you did.

Paige: Well, if it wasn't the bestest thing you ever saw, what do you think about it?

Monica: Uhm... well... How do I put this... How old are we?

Paige: Do you mean human years or doll years?

Monica: Human, I guess. It's hard enough thinking in doll time.

Paige: Well, I suppose we're about twenty one?

Monica: Yeah, that sounds right. So the movie takes place in 1985. So what the hell do we know about 1985? We're the 9/11 generation, sis. I don't know anything about that Vietnam stuff. Talk about hard to relate. And who the hell is Richard Nixon to me? That is so yesteryear. I have enough trouble thinking about last year let alone twenty!

Paige: Well, I suppose you might be right. But RB filled me on everything. He was an '80s kid after all. But hey, if you know anything about the cold war, just imagine what a difference those superheroes would have made. It's mind blowing. They were amazing, even if they didn't have super powers. Well, everyone but Dr. Manhattan.

Monica: Yeah, and what's with that? They're all like... normal screwed up people. Iron Man was awesome, even if he did drink like a fish. Spiderman was awesome, despite his being all nerdy. But that Rorschach guy? He was just mean and paranoid, and let's not even talk about his issues. I do have to say, though, Dr. Manhattan had a really nice... butt. Giggle

Paige: Uhm, yeah. He was... well formed. But besides that, I think that's the whole point of the movie. Before Watchmen the comic came out, every comic was like Spiderman and Iron Man. They just weren't really human, you know? And now this movie is doing the same thing. Every bad review I've read said just what you said. It wasn't Spiderman. Well no duh! It's not supposed to be. I'm hoping this movie does to Hollywood what Watchmen did to comic books. I'd like to see things with real people, not all that feel good fluff. No wonder Hollywood has been complaining that people aren't watching movies like they used to. It's because they keep coming out with mindless crap.

Monica: Hey, I like mindless crap... I mean light entertainment. I don't want to go to movies to watch depressed people. I just want to have fun and not think for a couple hours.

Paige: That's because you don't like thinking in general. No wonder you didn't like it. All you do is go see stuff like Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Huff

Monica: I did not go see Paul Blart. Even I have my limits. And I didn't say I didn't like Watchmen. I did. I just wasn't all jump around excited. You can't seem to sit still for one minute thinking about it.

Paige: That's because it was perfect. A perfect movie about a perfect comic book.

Monica: Well, I can think of better things to get all hot and bothered about. In fact, there's one thing around here that can get me wiggling in my seat. Where is RB anyway?

Paige: Sigh He's around here somewhere. I think he said something about re-reading the comic.

Monica: Oh goody. I think it's time for a little distraction from all that depressing stuff.

Paige: You know, sometimes he just likes having an intellectual conversation. That's why we get along so well.

Monica: Talk is for pansies. I like to get more... physical. Smirk

Paige: Ah. Now I know what you really liked about Watchmen. I think a little scene aboard Archie may have been to your liking.

Monica: Yeah, I can see being really worked up after a good fight. And those costumes were pretty swank, especially peeling out of them.

Paige: Ooh, grand idea. I'll see if I can find a Silk Specter outfit somewhere.

Monica: Now you're talking. Nothing like a little spandex to get the blood pumping.


Claire said...

great review, you two! who do they have doing "at the movies" these days? is that show even still on? well if it is, they ought to fire whoever's on it and replace them with you guys.

that would rock - "at the movies with paige and monica!"

my favorite thing in the movie was silhouette. did she even have any dialogue? who cares - hachacha! i told msg he needed to get me a black wig like that and we could play super-hero, and he said, "yeah, but if you're being silhouette, why would you be interested in playing super-hero with me?" and i said he could be silk spectre, but he didn't think that was especially funny.

sadly, the hotliness of silhouette was about all we agreed on, as he turned into mr. dork fanboy about almost the whole movie. he kept muttering "really? '99 luftballoons'? in watchmen? in that scene? '99 luftballoons???" and when i said "hey, i like that song," he just shook his head.

fortunately, i have no problem tuning him out and just going "lalala" when he gets like that. if all else fails, i just remind him, "hey, mr. thinks-he's-a-movie-critic, didn't you hate 'raiders of the lost ark' the first time you saw it?" and then he gets all embarrassed and shuts up.

i think i've about got him convinced to see it again so he'll change his mind.


Paige and Monica said...

Hey, Paige here. Oh, we would so love to do reviews. That would be an absolute blast. Monica could get snarky, though, so maybe it's best we don't.

I think RB absolutely agrees with you on Silhouette. When she showed up his jaw nearly dropped to the floor. I had to sock him in the arm to get him out of his lust induced coma. Geez! I think her look is what RB was trying for when he ordered me. I suspect there will be a new wig and outfit in my future. Excellent...

Now, if you're into trivia, the actress's name is Apollonia Vanova. Isn't that just an amazing name?! Being a geek myself, I found out she played a hive queen on Stargate Atlantis. My god! How could they hide such a beautiful face behind so much makeup I can't imagine.

Anyway, before the bi part of myself gets out of control, time to move along. Being a fan-girl myself, I understand that the big screen is a different medium than a comic. There are just some things that are great on paper that can't work on film. Take the ending, for instance. I liked it. I know everyone is all hot and bothered that the giant squid wasn't there, but hey, not everybody likes giant squids. Well, Monica might, but she's weird. Anyway, I thought what they did was better than the comic in some ways, and was certainly more palatable than a squid would have been for a movie audience.

Well, time to go. Talk to you later!

Claire said...

i think i've about half got msg convinced to go see the movie again. a whole lot of people he respects liked it more than he did, and while boys don't care to admit that sometimes they have moods, well, sometimes they have moods.

weirdly, msg wasn't really bothered by the no-squid ending. what bugged him was nite-owl running out in the snow just in time to see rorschach bite it and give one of those big hollywood "nooooo" screams. i told him, "hey, at least it was more in character for nite-owl than it was for darth vader," and he said, "yeah, but why would nite-owl run out into the snow in the first place? he'd still be standing around talking to laurie and dr. manhattan - you don't think doc would actually walk away to kill rorschach instead of just sending one of his multiplying bodies, do you? the point is, if you spend a whole movie having this guy get over his own impotence, why do you want to go and re-emasculate him that way?" i told him i thought it was sweet that we got to see how much n-o cared about splotch-face, but he just shook his head and started muttering about '99 luftballoons' again.

anyhoo, gotta go. take care - and I can't wait to see your review of "star trek" in may!