Paige: Uh, what?
Monica: Why am I the slut? I mean, I've been re-reading the posts here and I'm definitely coming out like a blonde bimbo ho. What's with that?
Paige: Well, I think RB had just pictured you as the more sensual one. I think that's based on other pictures of your face. As for the posts, I think you've taken on a life of your own here. So it's all you, sis. I hear RB is going to get me reading glasses. I'm not thrilled with looking the school marm, but what they heck. If that's what he likes, why not?
Monica: But what if we don't look that way? I mean, he gets us, puts those reading glasses on both of us, and realizes that I look much more... bookish than you do. What then? My entire life flashes before my eyes and it's over? Blog wiped clean, all that we are erased from the face of the internet?
Paige: Wow. You've obviously been thinking hard on this one, haven't you? I wouldn't worry. I mean, all he'd have to do is switch which face goes with which name. I'd still be me and you'd still be you. Then I'd be the pouty yet sexy librarian and you'd be the hyper-sexed babe with the button nose. All would still be well with the world.
Monica: But... but... that's not right! I mean, I wanted to be the pouty one!
Paige: My god, Monica, are you have an existential crisis?
Monica: I... uh... have not idea what you mean. But he can't take away who I am. He just can't. Sniffle
Paige: There there, sis. It'll be ok. Hug You'll always be the pouty slut in my eyes. It'll be alright.
Monica: Sob You mean that?
Paige: Of course I do. And even if we end up switching faces, I'm sure all the geeks will still fall all over themselves with desire to sleep with you. I know RB will.
Monica: Oh, ok.
Paige: Here's a tissue, dear. Now go blow your nose, look in the mirror, and remember - "I think therefore I am." Got it?
Monica: "I think I am, therefore I am." Yeah, got it. Shuffle
Paige: Sigh Klatu Barata Nikto, dear sis. Thank god the fate of the world doesn't rest on her shoulders, or we'd all be in trouble.