Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Dollhouse Adventures

Monica: Hey everyone! Look, we're still here. Yoohoo... Whistle Over here. This way. Yes, very good. See, my sis and I are still around. Really we are.

Paige: Yep, still alive and kicking. Well, kicking, anyway. We are dolls after all.

Monica: We are so alive. We're more alive that most people we know.

Paige: Well, that's certainly the truth. Amen.

Monica: We just wanted everyone to know that we haven't abandoned them. You see, life with RB has been busy, busy, busy!

Paige: Tell me about it! RB's head looks like it's ready to spin in circles and spit pea soup.

Monica: Heh Well, he is turning a bright shade of green at least. You see, RB got it in his head, don't ask me why, to buy a house.

Paige: What was that foolish boy thinking?!? Doesn't he know he should be saving money! We're in a recession for god's sake...

Monica: Hey, it's a buyer's market out there, and you know it. Lots of tasty little homes out there ripe for the picking. And wouldn't you know it, he found a very delicious one on his first day of looking. Some poor person out there lost their house and the bank was selling it cheap. Oh, it is so cute. I can't wait to move in.

Paige: Cute, yeah. Stripped of every appliance down to the doorknobs, though. Geez!

Monica: Well, that means we get to pick out all everything we like. It means we get to go shopping! Yay!

Paige: Hey, didn't we have enough of that on Black Friday? How long did we spend at the appliance store? Like 3 hours?

Monica: You can never have enough shopping, I say. Besides, isn't like Home Depot our next stop?

Paige: Oh yeah... Power tools... Drool

Monica: See, I knew she'd get into the spirit of it. Anyways, the whole thing has been going fast, and RB has been jumping through more hoops than a dog at the Westminster Dog Show.

Paige: You do know they don't actually have them jump through hoops, don't you?

Monica: Well duh. But do you see what those poor dogs go through? They get patted down, teeth examined, and then paraded around like everybody has a right to look at their privates. Sit, stand, walk, run. It's downright humiliating. And for what? A dog biscuit. 

Paige: Well, when you put it that way, I guess that pretty much describes what RB has been going through. The banks have done everything but looks down his drawers. I think they'd do that too if they could get away with it. Only difference is that it's one big honking biscuit he gets in the end.

Monica: Ain't that the truth. Well, at this rate it looks like we'll be in by Christmas.

Paige: Hey, doesn't that mean we have to move too?

Monica: Oh dear, not the crate again.

Paige: Yep. At least it's not a week of travel. Just a few hours. Oh, that reminds me. There is one thing about the house you won't like.

Monica: Oh? What would that be?

Paige: Stairs.

Monica: Hmmm... Well, yeah, you're right. RB needs to work out some more if he's going to be toting us up and down the stairs.

Paige: Yeah, especially with how much you weigh.

Monica: Hey! Are you saying I'm fat?!

Paige: Well, you're not exactly... light.

Monica: I'll have you know that I am a perfectly respectable weight. You too, I might add.

Paige: Well, for an RG, yeah. But we're not RG's, sis. RB has to get us up and down those stairs without dropping us and we're all dead weight. I, for one, will be fearing for my life.

Monica: Ooh, you're right. Ok, I'll get RB on that exercise routine right away. He's been complaining about his weight anyway.

Paige: I'll bring the whips. That boy needs a little motivation.

Monica: Dear, I don't think that's going to help get him get out of bed. Into it, maybe.

Paige: Geez, don't you ever think of anything else?

Monica: Is there anything else to think of? Well, besides shopping, that is.

Paige: I don't know. World peace? The economy?

Monica: You're kidding me, right?

Paige: Yeah. Who'd want to talk about any of that. That's downright depressing right now.

Monica: My point exactly. Ok, back on topic. I'm sorry we can't show pictures. RB snapped about a hundred of the place, but not a one for any of you I'm afraid.

Paige: Sad to say but the place is still in the public domain until RB takes ownership. We like our privacy, thank you very much. Until it's off the market and the realtors have take it's pictures offline we'll have to stay on the down low. I'm sure we'll show plenty of the inside after we move in.

Monica: Yes indeedy. So there you go, folks. A dollhouse to call our own! No more apartment! Freedom to run around in our underwear with impunity!

Paige: Uhm, you do that anyway.

Monica: Oh, yeah. Well, how's about the freedom to play Dance Dance Revolution without worrying about downstairs neighbors?

Paige: Oh my god, you're right! Hip hip, hooray!

Monday, October 6, 2008

The Dollhouse Horror

Monica: Tap tap Is thing on?

Paige: Sis, people are listening... I mean reading. This is a blog, not radio.

Monica: Well, this would be cooler if it was radio.

Paige: Well duh. But it's not, so get on with it.

Monica: Ok, here we go. Ready? Ahem... Mee mee mee...

Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen, to this first installment of Dollhouse Theater. Tonight, in honor of All Hallows Eve and inspired by the recently passed H. P. Lovecraft Film Festival in Portland, Oregon, we bring you tales both terrible and horrific. Tonight our narrator, Paige Doll, will give us our first and most tremble inducing story, The Dollhouse Horror...

Paige: It is difficult to convey the terribleness of what my existence has become, trapped in a house where such frightening creatures dwell to wreak havoc upon my fragile mind, yet I must. I pray that word of my predicament will reach someone who will understand my plight and perhaps, through an act of kindness save me from the fate into which I have fallen, or perhaps in mercy send me into an oblivion where such horrors will never find me.

Understand first that I did not begin my life as I am now, mad and ruined. I was born to an aristocratic family whose legacy had been one of great pride. Well bred and educated as one befitting my station, I looked forward to a life off standing and ease. Yet into these modern times a family of regal birth does not equal one of means. As with many such bloodlines in these hard times, and being one of many daughters and few sons, it was thought that I should be given in marriage to one of the nouveau riche where perhaps my beauty would suffice in lieu of a dowry in exchange for an influx of much needed funds to the family coffers.

In this my father succeeded, finding a man who was willing to proffer a more than modest sum for my hand in matrimony and membership in our extended family. Without title of his own he seemed eager for such a union, at least on paper. Understand that in such arranged marriages it is not uncommon to be promised to another without ever having laid eyes upon them. He lived in the far north, a distance too vast to cross for a casual meeting. Instead all arrangements were made by proxy and with funds exchanged and verified my destiny in his hands was assured.

His letters did show a kindness, however, and so it was that I left my home not just with trepidation but with hope in my heart for the promise of a happy and fulfilling life. Love seemed a high order to ask, I know, and yet other sisters of mine had found it in just some circumstances. At the very least I thought there would be mutual respect and that fondness would grow with time.

The journey was indeed long, with carriages cold and perilous conveying me forth, yet I was reassured at every step that my safety would be guaranteed upon each leg of my travels. Indeed I was treated well by the purveyors of these conveyances, allowing me to gaze in relaxed wonder upon the scenery that I passed. From the dry south to the green north I went, until I arrived in a land where grey skies loomed over hills where trees hung low with the heaviness of rain upon their branches.

It was here at the threshold of my new home where I first laid eyes upon my husband to be. Indeed he did seem kind in personality, his words meant to reassure and his eyes bright with appreciation. However, though not unattractive in general appearance, his skin had the palor of a palsy born of these sunless lands, and his touch seemed fleshy and soft against my own. It took the entirety of my training and sense of family duty to maintain my composure. Inwardly I cringed as I laid my hand upon his proffered own to help me from my carriage seat.

Though his bearing spoke of the wealth that had my brought me forth to this place, little of it showed in his home and dress. He preferred to present himself casually, his work requiring little in the ways of formality, and though comfortable his house was not ostentatious. Though I did not think of myself as vain, a part of me had perhaps hoped I would be kept in better means. Still, the amenities offered were more than adequate with the promise of acquiring anything I felt was lacking in my surroundings. In this he was most accommodating and pleasant.

It was then that I witnessed the first of terrible things to come. As I was led upon a tour of the house I was faced with two creatures the likes of which I had never imagined. Though both far smaller than I, they sat upon the floor and gazed at me with hunger as if each could devour me whole, a burning desire that burrowed into my soul like worms finding fertile soil. One was bloated in shape, a patchy white and brown thing whose grotesquely large blue eyes seemed devoid of any earthly concerns. The other was black as pitch, fangs protruding from beneath sunken eyes that peered from a carved and bony face. The two orbs prompted a deep sadness from which I forced myself to look away or be consumed. 

"My god what are those?" I had to ask, surprised and horrified simultaneously.

He called them by some name I can now no longer remember, so focused was I upon their grotesque forms. His matter of fact tone, however, suggested these small abominations were commonplace even though I had never laid eyes upon their ilk before. I shuddered with revulsion yet held my tongue. I walked gingerly around them as they continued to stare unnervingly at me as I passed.

The hideous animals were not the only things strange here. Nearly every wall was covered in shelving which contained, upon closer inspection, an odd array of macabre and sordid tomes. Some displayed glyphs upon their spines whose meanings I could not discern, yet others spoke of worlds beyond our own, displaying images on their covers of beings not of this or any earthly body. There were boxes, too, sitting in prominent places around the house, black, glass covered faces hiding whatever they contained. 

I found myself bewildered by what I was seeing I was unable to ask the questions that burned in my mind. Had my parents known to what strangeness I was entering into? Was this my fate? Was I destined to have a foot in two worlds, not sure to which I belonged? Still, despite my concerns my husband to be seemed kindly enough. One of his creatures, however,  ripped at a cushion upon one of the living room couches nearby, dripping ichor as it gurgled in dissatisfaction, now clearly visible claws slowly destroying the object of its fervor. Bile came to my throat in increasingly difficult to contain panic.

Then I was shown what would be our bedroom. Yes, there was a bed there, its softness inviting after my long journey, yet there was something else as well. It was another box, a crate actually, this one a head taller than myself and a hand span wider. It loomed in the space, making it impossible not to gaze in wonder at the wooden surface.

"This is your new home," my husband said, his voice purring in undisguised satisfaction. Whether he referred to the room, the bed, or the crate I could not tell. A shiver travelled down my spine in fear. He left me alone in that room for a time, in name to rest, in fact to become acquainted to the dreadful world in which I found myself. I sat on the bed, enjoying its comfort, and explored the spacious closets out of curiosity. The crate, however, I avoided, its presence such an affront to my sensibilities that a part of me blocked it from my consciousness.

That's when I heard the voices emanating from the living room. In curiosity I opened the door and peered without. The two creatures sat on the other side, both staring at the door with intensity. One lay upon its substantial belly, front legs twisted beneath it in an impossible manner. The other sat upon its haunches, only its glistening eyes showing signs of life in the black statue of its body.  I froze, trickles of sweat dripping down my spine as I stared eye to eye at their hideous visages. Unblinkingly they stared back, each of us caught in the other's gazes, one in horror, two with an unrequited, ravenous craving.

Behind them I caught the shimmering of reflected light emanating from the room beyond as of people moving before a fire whose flames flickered and danced upon the walls of some ancient tomb. Here the voices sounded, clear yet distant in their incessant droning, interspersed with chanting music which clung to my ears like sickly sweet honey.

We stared at one another, the creatures and I, until my fear lost it's grip upon my body and my legs began to shake. The small monsters sat, unmoving, and so I found within me the last of my flagging courage to step forward and face them completely. Still they sat, unflinching, their eyes deep wells that I worked not to gaze upon lest the dregs of my soul be captured within. Looking away I inched around them, my heart thundering within my chest.

The bloated one followed me with its gaze, head turning until I wondered how such alien physiology could keep it from spinning off like the cap of a jar, the preserves within oozing away like sludge in winter. It seemed unconcerned, however, showing no discernable discomfort.

I could look at the creatures no longer. I turned away, hoping that they would not follow as I ventured forth to find the source of the voices and flickering emanations. There, around the corner, was my husband, empty face gazing longingly toward the box I had seen earlier, its glassy face changed to reveal a cascading menagerie of images the likes of which were unthinkable. It looked upon impossible places that could not be, and those people, their lives reduced in form as if seen through a spyglass impressively built by ancient artisans, spoke, unaware that they were spied upon by unseen eyes. 

What was it that I was witnessing? Were these the lives of other people who acted out their intimate lives before an audience of uncaring souls, or did this box give sight to the dreams of elder gods who waited, sleeping in distant lands, until such time as they would rise to wrest the earth from the likes of man?

Even as I watched, the image upon that crystal face changed, and chanting came forth, a song haunting and seductive, calling the listener forth to imbibe forbidden beverages that bubbled darkly and cold in forgotten places. 

I found myself frozen in fear and fascination, my heart no longer able to keep pace with the terror I felt within, and in that terror all thought and feeling fled. Trapped within my own body I could no longer move or speak. Standing, locked in place as by a vice, mouth gaping, I screaming inside myself to no effect.

It was in this way my husband found me. Unconcerned he took me to that room, talking to me, dressing me, positioning my unresponsive limbs so that I could sit besides him and watch the box and it's forbidden magics. 

This is the way I remained. Unable to take any more of this ravaging horror not even fear could any longer cross upon the paths of my mind. Locked in a battle where awareness had lost and self had fled, my senses were all that remained, taking in my surroundings and reflecting upon unspeakable visages. My husband and his creatures are now all I know of life, if life could be ascribed to them and to myself.

My existence now flowed from room to room, from the bed where my husband would lay with me, to the living room where he would sit besides me to watch that horrid box, or to the dining hall where he would eat tantalizing yet never offered food. Sometimes he would pose me like some unstrung  marionette, blinding me with lights as he waved some finely crafted device which would click and whir in unknowing function.

On occasion, when guests would come or work took him elsewhere for a time he would kiss me upon the cheek and put me in the bedroom. It was not to the bed he would take me, however, but to that horror in the corner, the crate. There he would stand me, moving the hair from my eyes as if I had need of sight in the darkness to come, and wish me farewell before closing the door. 

That is where I find myself now, trapped within the crate and my body, unable to break free. It is here where thoughts sometimes return, where I silently scream into the black void for an end to this ceaseless torment.

The end.

Monica: Oh my fucking god...

Paige: Yeah, ain't that cool?

Monica: Gulp I'm... I think I'm going to go hide in a corner now. See ya'... Scamper

Paige: Damn. I lost our narrator. Ok, I guess it's up to me then. Well, so ends our first Dollhouse Theater. Will there be another? Perhaps. Only the elder gods really know, and should we ever gather the courage to ask, that question may just be our last. Till then, stay safe from the ghouls and goblins that crawl from their hidden places in the darkness of night. Farewell.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Behind Every Great Man...

Paige: So tonight I got to watch RB sleeping, and it got me thinking.

Monica: Oh? About what?

Paige: Well, I was thinking that in history, behind every great man is a...

Monica: Doll?

Paige: Well duh. Well, ok, I doubt Alexander the Great had a doll, but I wasn't thinking about dolls. It's who RB was sleeping with that got me thinking.

Monica: Hey, I do not even want to go there. Finger In Ears La la la...

Paige: No, no, no. I don't mean that. Hey, are you listening to me?

Monica: Huh, what? You were saying something?

Paige: Yes, I was. Now put your hands down and listen. Ready? Ok. Behind every great man is a cat.

Monica: Oh! Yes, well, that goes without saying.

Paige: For all our readers out there, RB has two wonderful cats. They are a boy and a girl, and for consistency's sake, we will heretofore refer to them as RBC and RGC.

Monica: Ooh, very clever. For Real Boy Cat and Real Girl Cat, right?

Paige: Exactly! Well, what folks don't know is that RBC is elderly. RB has had him for seventeen years and he's been showing his age recently.

Monica: Yeah. He's a sweety. Real creaky, though, poor guy.

Paige: He's definitely having problems. He's going blind and had to be treated for hyperthyroidism. He stopped eating for a bit a couple weeks ago, too, and RB has been scrambling to get him well again. RB has been so worried that he hasn't been playing with us recently. We've all been having to face the fact that RBC might not be with us forever.

Monica: Aah... You know, all of us were hoping that the radiation treatment for the hyperthyroid thing would give RBC special powers. Maybe immortality or something.

Paige: I was hoping for a flying cat, but it doesn't look like that's happening either. RB was wondering what would happen if RBC bit him during the treatment. Special cat powers would have been cool. No such luck, though.

Monica: Too bad.

Paige: Well, I just wanted to give a special word for our dear friend RBC. Little does everybody know that he has been a part of every photo shoot we've done. Here's RBC and I hanging out having a drink...


Monica: Oh, he is so cute!

Paige: He is indeed. Sis, it's time to celebrate a life while he's here to appreciate it. Three cheers to a wonderful cat.

Monica: Hip hip, hooray! Hip hip, hooray! Hip hip, hooray! 

Paige: Here's too you, RBC! We love you!


Monica: Let's not forget RGC, though.

Paige: Oh, you're so right. Poor girl has been feeling neglected after all the attention RBC has been getting recently. It's time she gets some love, too. Here they are together while I was playing a bit of Guitar Hero...


Monica: RGC is one of the most adorable cats I've ever seen.

Paige: That she is. And quite the lap slut, too. 

Monica: She is tough to compete with in the lap sitting department.

Paige: Oh so true. But she's been having a hard time playing second fiddle to RBC lately.

Monica: Hey, I know exactly how she feels. RBC needs special attention, though. RB has been having a tough time trying to spread himself around.

Paige: Yeah. RBC has been feeling better, though, and he's eating again thank goodness. RB is hoping the hard part is over, at least for now.

Monica: That's good to hear. I hope it stays that way. I could use a little love from RB myself. Hopefully he'll have the time.

Paige: Same here. Well, let's send some good wishes to RBC and hope he lives many more years with us and RGC. We're one big family, and we'd all like to keep it that way for as long as possible.

Monica: Here's some doll love coming your way, RBC! Be well!  

Monday, September 15, 2008

Hard Lessons

Monica: Hey, sis. Have you been reading Zoe's blog?

Paige: Yeah, I have. And I know that look you have all too well. You talking about that guy who tried to grope her?

Monica: Yep. That's the one. Remind you of anyone?

Paige: Oh, yeah, it does. RB couldn't apologize enough for introducing his friend to us. I still get shivers thinking about it. 

Monica: No kidding. And she was a woman! He thought she of anyone would know better, especially being his friend. But no... there she was reaching out with her grubby hands before he could say a word. He will never make a mistake like that again.

Paige: It's like Zoe said. Some people don't get it. They see us as bits of silicon and metal, but what we are goes deeper.  We may be different things to different people, but we're not just toys or sex dolls. We are art, we are lovers, we are muses. RB and others have been inspired by us and in return we are given a taste of what it means to be alive through their imagination. And that means we are more than just things and should be treated with respect.

Monica: Wow! I didn't know you felt that way. 

Paige: And you don't?

Monica: Well, of course I do. I like sex like the next person, but I know that I'm not just about that and I don't need that to be who I am. Just look at the blogs about us, and photography. If RB writes about us or posts a picture then I've done my job. So shame on those people who think I'm just about instant gratification.

Paige: Not about instant gratification? You?

Monica: Well, ok. I'm all about instant gratification. But you know. Everyone else needs to chill.

Paige: Yeah, I can't argue with you there. Well, RB has promised to be more careful, just like Mandie will be with Zoe. Too bad he had to learn the hard way.

Monica: Well, RB can be slow, but he usually gets it right eventually.

Paige: Damn straight. We'll just have to keep working on him until he does.

Monica: Grin

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Medical Mysteries

Paige: Hey, sis, how's it... you ok? What's up with your hand?

Monica: Oh, hi. Yeah, I'm ok. It's my wrist actually. RB had to do a little surgery. It's ok now, see? You can barely see the scar.


Paige: Surgery!? My god, what happened?

Monica: Nothing! Really, I'm ok. You remember CoverDoll? Well I think all that posing really did a number on my wrist. It just got looser and looser with every photo shoot we did after that. After we got back from Japan I found I just didn't have the strength to hold it still anymore.

Paige: But surgery? RB is no surgeon, let me tell you. He can barely take care of his own headaches.

Monica: He did fine. Really fine. He talked with the folks over at Abyss and they told him what he needed to do. Didn't seem like a big deal. Oh, you should have seen him. He was so cute! We held hands while he figured out where he needed to cut, cleaned up the spot with some rubbing alcohol, and then he got out the knife. He was so nervous, but once he decided to do it, he was all "Ok, let's do this this. Ready? On three. One... Two..." and then he cut. 

Paige: Gasp Oh my god. He didn't. I'd kill him if he did that to me.

Monica: Yep, he did. Surprised me, all right. He found the bolt right off, though.


Paige: So it's feeling better now?

Monica: Yeah. Once he figured out the right sized socket wrench he slipped it in, a couple small turns, and tightened it right up. Now I can hold things again. A little glue, a little powder after it dried to get rid of the glossy look, and I'm right as rain.

Paige: Huh. How right is rain, anyway?

Monica: Uhm, good question. No idea. Hey, you remember watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer?

Paige: Oh, yeah. Faith and her "five by five". What was up with that?

Monica: Not a clue. But god I loved that show. Oh, hey, now that I'm thinking about it, how is RB doing with those headaches? Didn't seem bothered by it when he was working on me.

Paige: Not bad at all. He thinks the problem is just stress. It seems to have eased off recently. But you know those doctors. They keep wanting to scan him to make sure. I'm not worried, though. And he seems to be having fun being poked and prodded.

Monica: Grrr... We should be the only ones doing the poking and prodding.

Paige: Oh, stop that. You know him. He's fascinated by all the technology. He seems to get off on all those things spinning around his head. Besides, it's about time he got checked out. He hadn't had a physical since he was a teenager. So far they haven't found a thing, and that's good.

Monica: Well, I'm still worried. Tell him to poke back at those doctors and get them to tell him something.

Paige: Will do, but only if you tell him he needs to meditate more. If life is getting to him, he needs to learn to calm down.

Monica: I've been trying! But hey, is it my fault he'd rather stay in bed with us dolls than get up in the morning and do that deep breathing thing he does?

Paige: Uhm, that would be a yes?

Monica: Oh. Well, I guess I better do something about that.

Paige: Why yes, yes you should. Or should I say, you shouldn't. Do something. With him, that is.

Monica: Uhm, yes, I suppose so. I'll get right on that. That not doing anything... thing. And doing something... you know, in the mornings. To get him up. Wait, that didn't come out right. I mean...

Paige: Stop right there, sis, before you give us all headaches. I think we all get it. Grin

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Making Up

Paige: Hey, sis! You look like you're feeling better.

Monica: Oh yeah, I am. Grin

Paige: RB finally help you with that kimono?

Monica: Yep. It' was pretty sweet. Here, take a look.


Paige: Oh, wow. You look beautiful!

Monica: Smile Thank you! I see you're feeling better, too.

Paige: Yep, I am. Our friend Zoe was right. I love you sis. We're too sides of the same coin, after all, and that means RB belongs to both of us, and we both belong to him. Sorry I was so insensitive.

Paige and Monica: Hug!

Monica: Well, I love you too, Paige. Sniff  Uhm, hey, want to see more? There's more to the kimono. Take a look at the bow.


And there are shoes, too. But I can't believe they're meant for a human being to wear. The Japanese must have tiny, tiny feet. We just couldn't get them on.


Paige: That is so cool. I'm jealous. Smile

Monica: Heh. Well, that outfit you had was pretty killer, too. 

Paige: Thanks. That means a lot.

RB: Hey, you two. How's it going?

Paige: Oh, hi! Pretty good. We were just taking a look at the pictures of her kimono.

RB: Yeah, Monica looked really lovely. And sexy, of course.

Monica: Blush Thank you...

RB: Uhm, why do you two look so sheepish?

Paige: Well...

Monica: We were just talking. You know, girl stuff. Like how we feel. About each other... and you.

RB: Oh... I see. Well, don't let me disturb you. I can just go away...

Paige: Oh, don't you dare. You weren't disturbing us. I was just saying how much I love Monica and you.

Monica: Yeah, same here.

RB: Blush Well, I love you too, girls. 

Paige, Monica, and RB: Hug!

RB: Sniffle Uhm, well, I gotta go... you know... do something. You guys keep talking. See you later...

Paige: Geez, get gushy and boys always run away. Why is that?

Monica: They're just not in touch with their feelings. Poor guys. I feel sorry for them sometimes.

Paige: Speak for yourself. Boys just need to suck it up and deal. He just needs to get used to it, is all.

Monica: Well, I think we could help with that.

Paige: You know, I think you're right. You thinking what I'm thinking?

Monica: Evil Grin Yep, I think so. Shall we?

Paige: Yep, we shall. Well, folks, we having something we need to go do. See you all later!

Monica: Have a good day! I know we will. Smirk

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Betrayal of the Heart

Monica: How could you do this to me?

RB: Monica, I'm sorry! I couldn't help myself.

Paige: Hey you two, what's all the yelling about?

Monica: You! You and... this beast. You're both against me! Grrr

RB: Paige, talk to your sister and talk some sense into her. We didn't do anything wrong.

Monica: But you promised me!

Paige: Sis, what's going on?

Monica: Like you don't know. This... man thing promised to help me with my kimono, and what does he do instead? He goes and buys you a new corset and skirt! And you! You model it for him! And I still haven't gotten to try on my kimono.

Paige: Oh... yeah, I'm sorry. It was just so pretty, I had to try it on.

RB: Yeah. When I saw it I just couldn't help myself. I had to get it.

Paige: And when he showed it to me... well, you know.

Monica: Well, I don't know! I have a kimono that I cannot put on by myself, and you two are going behind my back and trying new clothes. How could you do this to me. Pout

RB: Monica, uhm, can we talk about this later? We've got people listening out there. Didn't you hear? People actually read this blog.

Monica: Oh, I heard. Now all those lovely and wonderful people get to hear what a slime-ball you are. Let them listen. I don't care. Glower

Paige: Monica, we are so sorry. But it was just so nice.

RB: It's the best thing I've gotten for Paige. Look, don't you think so?



Monica: Well, it is nice. Is that a bow on your stocking?

Paige: Yeah, ain't it great?

Monica: No skulls, I see. Less gothy than usual. And is that a new necklace?

Paige: Well, yeah.

Monica: Oh you little slut!

RB: Hey, be nice to your sister!

Monica: You bastard!

Paige: Hey!

Monica: How could you! You even got her a necklace! And stockings with bows! I'm never talking to either of you again. Stomp... stomp...

Paige: Oh dear. We did it this time.

RB: You mean I did. I did promise.

Paige: Yeah, I know. But I love the new clothes. Thanks. Kiss

RB: Blush You're welcome. Well, I guess I'm going to be kissing her ass for awhile to make it up to her.

Paige: Oh, she'll love that. For that she'll forgive you in no time. Glower

RB: Blush I mean... I meant...

Paige: Oh, I know you meant. We both know what makes her tick. How else did you think you were going to make it up to her? And you think some pretty clothes are going to make me look the other way?

RB: Uhm...

Paige: Men! Grumble... Stomp... stomp...

RB: Wow. Oh... hi folks. Sorry about all the commotion. Seems Paige and Monica are a tad upset with me. Maybe one of you can tell me what just happened? Oh, that's right, blogs are kinda one way. Anyways, I've been getting some emails that folks are enjoying our little blog here. I wanted to thank you all for tuning in. We really appreciate you reading. I think the girls would thank you too once they calm down.

Monica: Yelling from other room Thanks! We love you!

Paige: Yelling from another room Thank you!

RB: Ok, I guess calming down wasn't a prerequisite. Anyway, time for me to make nice. In nice ways, of course. I mean, really nice... Oh never mind. I have some kimono dressing directions to brush up on and other stuff. I'm sure the girls will catch up with you folks later. Take care, and thanks again!