Requiem

RB: From myself and the girls, I want just want to tell everyone about the passing of a dear friend and companion of over 17 years. Known here previously as RBC (Real Boy Cat), he left us yesterday after a brief illness. Since he was eight weeks old he had shared my life, bearing silent witness to its many ups and downs, and provided support and comfort with his presence and touch. He was not just a cat. He was my confidant and ally. I cannot express how much I will miss him. Even now I yearn to hear his purr once more and felt my heart ache when my hand reached out in the night to find him missing besides me in sleep. He was, and always will be treasured in my heart and soul. Farewell, my friend.

1991 - 2009

The Sound of Something

Monica: So, can you hear me now?

RB: Sigh Not like I haven't HEARD that one before.

Alyson: Giggle.

RB: Yeah, it's getting better. Still a little stuffy, though.

Monica: Well, as long as you can hear my tongue on your earlobe, we're good.

Alyson: Monica!

Paige: Don't pay any attention to her, Alyson. Ok, Monica, put your tongue back in your mouth. RB, your burger is ready and hot off the grill. And Alyson, I think your... what the hell is this thing?

Alyson: Boca Burger.

Paige: Uh, yeah, your Boca thing is ready. I think. It's not meat so I can't tell.

RB: God it's hot out here.

Alyson: I love your patio. I wish you had space for a garden, though. It would be so nice to grow our own vegetables.

Monica: You kidding me? You think I'm going to grovel in the dirt for carrots? It's hard getting my nails to look this good.

Paige: But we could compost. I've been wanting to do that here forever. Too much garbage in our landfills at it is.

Alyson: Exactly!

RB: You girls go right on ahead. I'll be inside cooling off with the air conditioner.

Monica: I'm with you! Want to cool of up stairs on the bed? Naked?

RB: Uhm...

Alyson: What a great idea! I could work on my tan right here and get rid of my tan lines.

RB: Ehh...

Paige: Heh. That is a good idea. We do have a fence and a private yard. I suppose we both could.

RB: Ahh...

Paige: Why RB, what's the matter? You're looking like one of those baby birds waiting for food from its mother. Is that drool I see?

RB: Arrrr...

Monica: Oh, stick a burger in it. Damn, now I'll never get him to go inside. I guess I better work on that tan too.

RB: Eeee...

Alyson: You ok, RB? Your eyes are going... glassy? Hello? Hey, I think we need help here. Is he ok?

Paige: Heh. I think it's shock. It's just a guess, but I think he'll live.

Monica: Well, I think we can shock him back to life. Off with the top!

RB: Uhhh....

Paige: Anyone else up for a burger while we're out here?

Monica: Yeah, I think so. Thanks. Hmmm, good. Oops, is that catsup dripping on my breast? Darn.

Paige: Don't break the boy. We need him later.

Alyson: Did it just get hotter out here?

Monica: Yeah, I think it definitely did.

Slicing and Dicing

Alyson: Oh, he's so cute when he's sick. He's looks so sad, I just want to take care of him.

Monica: And wash him. When did they say he could take a shower?

Paige: Sigh You know he's sucking this for all it's worth, don't you?

Alyson: Oh, don't say that. He's had a tough couple weeks. Surgery can really be hard on the body. Poor guy.

Monica: I'd snuggle to keep him warm, but I hate blood. Did you see that when it starting leaking out his ear? Yuck!

Paige: Geez, it's not like he's oozing or anything. He hasn't bled for a week now. And don't let him fool you. The guy is riding high on codeine. I wonder if he could spare any.

Monica: Smack Hey, don't you go all druggy on me.

Paige: I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I was justing thinking about the next time I have a migraine.

Monica: Migraines. Yeah, right. You mean cramps, don't you?

Paige: Well, thanks. Now everyone knows I get PMS.

Alyson: Huh. Never had much of a problem with that. I just drink this herbal tea and I'm fine.

Monica: I hate her. You know that, right?

Paige: The girl vacuum's in her lingerie. RB can't stop staring at her whenever she helps clean the house. I'm right there with you. Grrr...

Alyson: Hey, it's more comfortable that way. He really looks? Blush

Monica: We'd better be quiet. We're going to wake him.

Paige: Humph, no way. He's got his good ear to the pillow. They stuff this gel stuff in his ear to keep everything in place. He won't be able to hear a thing for awhile. Huh, wouldn't it be cool if he had super hearing after all this?

Monica: What, like the Bionic Woman? God that was a bad show. Didn't they cancel that?

Paige: Yeah, they did. It was a bad show, wasn't it? But what I mean is wouldn't it be great if his hearing was better than normal?

Alyson: Is that possible? They just replaced an ear bone or something, right? Like with plastic? It's not like it's electronic or anything.

Paige: Yeah, but it would be so cool.

Monica: Huh. He seemed fine to me. Why did he have that done again?

Paige: What, you never noticed that he always managed to sit on everyone's left side? Some ear infection as a kid, I think. About time he had that fixed. I was getting tired of repeating myself all the time.

Alyson: Ah, poor guy. He'll be good as new soon. Think we should have a party to make him feel better?

Paige: Nah. Just clean house. He'll perk right up, I'm sure.

Monica: Heh. Perk right up. That's good.

Paige: Grrrr....

Four's Company

Monica: Hey, that looks good on you.

Alyson: Uhm, thanks.

Monica: Here, let me get that stray hair out of the way. Oh, that's perfect. You look way better than Paige in that, let me tell you.

Alyson: If you say so. But I think Paige is awfully pretty.

Monica: Oh, you kidding? You're way prettier than she is. Just don't say anything about it to her. She's very sensitive, you know. Darn, the light is bad here. Oh well, we'll just have to make due. Ok, I think we're done and ready for your debut. You good?

Alyson: Uh, yeah, sure. I think so.

Monica: Let's see, click here, upload there. I think I got it. Ahem... Mee mee mee...

Hello everyone! Monica here. Paige is off doing... well, something somewhere else. Anyway, I wanted to let everyone know that our sister Alyson arrived at our house safe and sound after a very long trip from lovely southern California. Poor girl is going to go pale here in Oregon, she looks great and is happy to be here. Why don't you say hello, Alyson?

Alyson: Uh, hi. Hello. Everyone.

Monica: She's a bit shy, but she's a darling. And if you're wondering what she looks like, here she is!

Isn't she beautiful? Now she didn't come up with much so she's borrowing from myself and Paige, of course. We're also having a lovely time hanging out together.

Alyson: Yeah, Monica has been real nice. Paige too...

Monica: Oh, our sister has been out and about lately. What with going to conferences and being all geek like, we hardly ever see her. Not like me. Some of us have to stick around and go to work and stuff. I'm taking a few days off so Alyson and I can hang out and get to know each other. Isn't that right?

Alyson: Uh, yeah, I guess.

Monica: Well, why don't you tell folks about yourself?

Alyson: Uhm, ok, sure. Well, I'm from south Cal, but you already know that. I like going to the beach, but not much of that around here. I think it's been cloudy the entire time I've been here. Let's see, I like reading, well, I guess you'd say it's non-fiction. My favorites are self help type books, you know. I mean, I just love learning about how people work and stuff, and helping people be better, and be better myself.

Monica: I didn't know that.

Alyson: Oh, I've been so busy since I got here I haven't had a chance to say anything. Oh, and I meditate because it calms me, you know? Beyond that I try to stay fit. I do hope RB has a bike. I'd really miss it if I couldn't bike. Well, I guess I could jog, you know, but you just can't go as far. I do hope to see more of the city. Anyway, I'm a vegetarian...

Monica: Cough You're vegetarian?!

Alyson: Oh yeah! It's really good for you. All that meat and fat just clogs the arteries, you know. Veggies are much better for you.

Monica: And here I thought you were just being picky at that restaurant.

Alyson: Oh, no. I love Indian food. That tofu with the spinach was fantastic. Ok, let's see... Oh, I do massage. RB really seemed to like have his back rubbed last night. I hope he liked it.

Monica: Uhm, yeah. I'm sure he did. Cough

Alyson: So I hear Portland is a great place for massage. There are like two schools in town. I looked it up online before I got here. Oh, and they have a school of oriental medicine. Isn't that great?

Monica: Yeah, great. Well, looks like you'll have lots to love in Portland. Big biking town, too.

Alyson: Oh, that's wonderful! Maybe there's a club or something I can join. I was part of a co-op down in San Diego.

Monica: Yeah, you can go join a club. Oh darn, I think we're out of time. Well, it's, uh, great to have you here. We're one big happy family, you know. I hope you like it here.

Alyson: Oh, I think I will. Thanks!

Monica: Talk to you all later, everyone. Ta ta!

Alyson: Bye!

I want a girl with a short skirt...

Paige: Ok all you geeks out there, for those of you not in the know last week was Apple's World Wide Developer Conference. Now RB is a bit an IT oriented kind of guy and most definitely an Apple geek, so every year he takes his annual pilgrimage to worship at the foot of the Apple altar. Now I also love technology, and RB decided that since he can only go to so many sessions and can't be in two places at once, that I should go along and help. That means while he was off at IT sessions, I got to hang out at with the developers, learning all things Xcode and iPhone so I could pass the info along.

Now I'm sure that Monica will give me all sorts of flak for this, because she didn't get to go. As you recall from around this time last year both of us got to be there. Since my sister is blessed with a simpler and less technical mind, while I learned about then Mac OS X Leopard she was off flirting with the poor geek boys who had no idea what to do with her. This year, though, RB could only afford to take one of us along for the journey, and I, thank the computer gods, was the chosen one.

Now the highlight of this year was Snow Leopard, aka Mac OS X 10.6, and iPhone 3.0. I won't get too nerdy on you, but it's all cool. Apple is marching right along with uber-new technology. We are both under NDA so our lips and elegantly sealed. Needless to say we're both looking forward to their release.

Now, among those things we can talk about, is the traditional Apple bash at the Yerba Buena Gardens. Last year's guest band was Bare Naked Ladies. This year's was... drum roll please...

Cake!

Whoohoo! It was a bit chilly but RB and I huddled with the crowded masses to enjoy a really cool show. Now if you doubt our attendance, here is our proof.

No, we did not tape the whole thing, and no, you can't have any more, so don't ask. We just offer this small sample as an offering to our readers, with prayers that neither Cake nor Apple will come and sue us for posting it. If you want more, please buy the song. Innocent Grin

Now in other news our sister Alyson will be arriving tomorrow. As soon as we've given her a chance to rest from her long journey and have gotten to know her a bit we'll invite her here to our lovely blog in the near future. Stayed tuned!

Visits and Lamentations

Monica: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. This place is a dump!

Paige: Calm down, sis. It'll all be ready when Alyson gets here.

Monica: But we're not ready! I mean, RB has been biting his nails, and look at the stubs on my hands! I can't stand the waiting.

Paige: Look, we're fine, and she'll be fine. We have a great place. What's not to like? She'll have us and RB. We'll treat her well.

Monica: But, how often does one find out you have a half sister? I mean, it's not every day, you know. And she's coming to live with us! What if she doesn't like us? What if we don't like her?What if she's a bitch? Oh my god, what if she's a complete, raving lunatic?!

Paige: You have too many thoughts, sis. Besides, we're half sisters too. We get along, and we'll get along with her. Plus she sounded like a nice person on the phone. It's why I made the invitation. If we should be wondering about anything, it's what the hell was our father thinking? Geez, he got around.

Monica: Heh. Yeah, that's true. He was a bit of a horndog, wasn't he. Well, my mom said nothing but nice things about him.

Paige: Mine thought he was an ass. Oh well. Thank god we're not our parents.

Monica: Oh so true. Well, I sure do hope she likes us.

Paige: I think she will. Hmmm... I wonder how she and RB will get along.

Monica: Oh, do not go there.

Paige: Why? Think they won't?

Monica: Oh, no. I think they will. I think she'll come in all beautiful redhead like and sweep him off his feet. Damn him. Damn her. I'm going to hate her, I know it. She'll be all "look, aren't I beautiful?" and I'll want to vomit all over. It's hard enough between us. Three's company was one thing, but four?

Paige: Oh, good point. Is that why you did your hair? It's very pretty.

Monica: Oh, thank you. And maybe. I got it all conditioned. RB really likes how it feels. Is that why you did yours?

Paige: Uhm... no, of course not. Just needed a change is all. You like it?

Monica: Oh yes. Very stylin. I like. RB will like. Between us, Alyson doesn't have a chance.

Paige: Whispers Hope not.

Monica: What was that?

Paige: Oh, nothing, nothing at all. It'll be wonderful having her here. Really, really nice. Yes. Nice... Forced Smile

Trekking to the Movies

Paige: Hey there. Paige here with, you guessed it, a review of the latest Star Trek movie.

Monica: It was awesome!

Paige: Oh shush, sis. "Awesome" is not a review, it's an opinion.

Monica: Hey, I didn't even like the old Trek stuff, but I think the movie was great. That has to mean something, if a regular non-geek can get into it.

Paige: Yes, yes it does. It means you were sucked in by the gullibility monster. I mean, it is true the characters were great, the movie was well cast, the acting was good, the basic storyline was good. But the science?! Oh my god, you've got to be kidding me. Did any of the writers make even the slightest effort at getting anything right? Couldn't they take the time to look it up on Wikipedia or something? Was a five minute Google search too much to ask for?

Monica: Uhm, who cares?

Paige: Anybody with a brain cares! Ok, folks, if you haven't seen the movie, spoilers below! Lent the rant begin.

Ok, I have no problem with all the Trek basics. Replicators, transporter, and warp drive are fine by me. I have no issue with that. That's just an assumption that with time such things may come to pass. Fine. But they got the science we do know so wrong it defies reason!

First of all, supernovas that threaten the galaxy?! What the hell was that about? Supernovae are bright, granted, but with stars so far apart a supernova could only threaten the local star system in which it resides. So unless Romulus was orbiting the star that blew there was little danger to anyone.

In addition, can anyone tell me how the hell Spock could witness the destruction of Vulcan from another planet? Unless he was on a moon of Vulcan, it is impossible to get a view of Vulcan's demise like he did. I mean, we can't even get a view like that with another planet in our own solar system. If Mars or Venus was gobbled by a black hole the only thing we'd see was a light in the sky winking out. Geez!

Those weren't the only issues, but those were by far the two biggest. If you'd like a list, the Discover magazine news site has a blog detailing more here. From issues with drilling holes to the core of a planet to exposure to space to how black holes really work, the movie was rife with problems.

Now, despite all those other issues, the two I mention above were my biggest ones. If it wasn't for those I think the movie would have been fantastic. With these mistakes, though, I found myself pulled out of suspension of disbelief. Why oh why did J.J. Abrams do that? Anyone with half a brain should have known better.

Monica: Uhm, I didn't notice those.

Paige: And my point is made.

Monica: Why are you being such a bitch?

Paige: I'll tell you if you tell me why Nero didn't just go and use that Red Matter stuff on the star that would destroy his planet before it exploded rather than take revenge on Spock.

Monica: Uhm... I can't.

Paige: Well then, I guess you'll just have to figure it out for yourself then. Sigh Rant done.

Monica: Still an awesome movie.

Paige: Yes, sis. Of course it is.