Four's Company

Monica: Hey, that looks good on you.

Alyson: Uhm, thanks.

Monica: Here, let me get that stray hair out of the way. Oh, that's perfect. You look way better than Paige in that, let me tell you.

Alyson: If you say so. But I think Paige is awfully pretty.

Monica: Oh, you kidding? You're way prettier than she is. Just don't say anything about it to her. She's very sensitive, you know. Darn, the light is bad here. Oh well, we'll just have to make due. Ok, I think we're done and ready for your debut. You good?

Alyson: Uh, yeah, sure. I think so.

Monica: Let's see, click here, upload there. I think I got it. Ahem... Mee mee mee...

Hello everyone! Monica here. Paige is off doing... well, something somewhere else. Anyway, I wanted to let everyone know that our sister Alyson arrived at our house safe and sound after a very long trip from lovely southern California. Poor girl is going to go pale here in Oregon, she looks great and is happy to be here. Why don't you say hello, Alyson?

Alyson: Uh, hi. Hello. Everyone.

Monica: She's a bit shy, but she's a darling. And if you're wondering what she looks like, here she is!

Isn't she beautiful? Now she didn't come up with much so she's borrowing from myself and Paige, of course. We're also having a lovely time hanging out together.

Alyson: Yeah, Monica has been real nice. Paige too...

Monica: Oh, our sister has been out and about lately. What with going to conferences and being all geek like, we hardly ever see her. Not like me. Some of us have to stick around and go to work and stuff. I'm taking a few days off so Alyson and I can hang out and get to know each other. Isn't that right?

Alyson: Uh, yeah, I guess.

Monica: Well, why don't you tell folks about yourself?

Alyson: Uhm, ok, sure. Well, I'm from south Cal, but you already know that. I like going to the beach, but not much of that around here. I think it's been cloudy the entire time I've been here. Let's see, I like reading, well, I guess you'd say it's non-fiction. My favorites are self help type books, you know. I mean, I just love learning about how people work and stuff, and helping people be better, and be better myself.

Monica: I didn't know that.

Alyson: Oh, I've been so busy since I got here I haven't had a chance to say anything. Oh, and I meditate because it calms me, you know? Beyond that I try to stay fit. I do hope RB has a bike. I'd really miss it if I couldn't bike. Well, I guess I could jog, you know, but you just can't go as far. I do hope to see more of the city. Anyway, I'm a vegetarian...

Monica: Cough You're vegetarian?!

Alyson: Oh yeah! It's really good for you. All that meat and fat just clogs the arteries, you know. Veggies are much better for you.

Monica: And here I thought you were just being picky at that restaurant.

Alyson: Oh, no. I love Indian food. That tofu with the spinach was fantastic. Ok, let's see... Oh, I do massage. RB really seemed to like have his back rubbed last night. I hope he liked it.

Monica: Uhm, yeah. I'm sure he did. Cough

Alyson: So I hear Portland is a great place for massage. There are like two schools in town. I looked it up online before I got here. Oh, and they have a school of oriental medicine. Isn't that great?

Monica: Yeah, great. Well, looks like you'll have lots to love in Portland. Big biking town, too.

Alyson: Oh, that's wonderful! Maybe there's a club or something I can join. I was part of a co-op down in San Diego.

Monica: Yeah, you can go join a club. Oh darn, I think we're out of time. Well, it's, uh, great to have you here. We're one big happy family, you know. I hope you like it here.

Alyson: Oh, I think I will. Thanks!

Monica: Talk to you all later, everyone. Ta ta!

Alyson: Bye!

I want a girl with a short skirt...

Paige: Ok all you geeks out there, for those of you not in the know last week was Apple's World Wide Developer Conference. Now RB is a bit an IT oriented kind of guy and most definitely an Apple geek, so every year he takes his annual pilgrimage to worship at the foot of the Apple altar. Now I also love technology, and RB decided that since he can only go to so many sessions and can't be in two places at once, that I should go along and help. That means while he was off at IT sessions, I got to hang out at with the developers, learning all things Xcode and iPhone so I could pass the info along.

Now I'm sure that Monica will give me all sorts of flak for this, because she didn't get to go. As you recall from around this time last year both of us got to be there. Since my sister is blessed with a simpler and less technical mind, while I learned about then Mac OS X Leopard she was off flirting with the poor geek boys who had no idea what to do with her. This year, though, RB could only afford to take one of us along for the journey, and I, thank the computer gods, was the chosen one.

Now the highlight of this year was Snow Leopard, aka Mac OS X 10.6, and iPhone 3.0. I won't get too nerdy on you, but it's all cool. Apple is marching right along with uber-new technology. We are both under NDA so our lips and elegantly sealed. Needless to say we're both looking forward to their release.

Now, among those things we can talk about, is the traditional Apple bash at the Yerba Buena Gardens. Last year's guest band was Bare Naked Ladies. This year's was... drum roll please...

Cake!

Whoohoo! It was a bit chilly but RB and I huddled with the crowded masses to enjoy a really cool show. Now if you doubt our attendance, here is our proof.

No, we did not tape the whole thing, and no, you can't have any more, so don't ask. We just offer this small sample as an offering to our readers, with prayers that neither Cake nor Apple will come and sue us for posting it. If you want more, please buy the song. Innocent Grin

Now in other news our sister Alyson will be arriving tomorrow. As soon as we've given her a chance to rest from her long journey and have gotten to know her a bit we'll invite her here to our lovely blog in the near future. Stayed tuned!

Visits and Lamentations

Monica: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. This place is a dump!

Paige: Calm down, sis. It'll all be ready when Alyson gets here.

Monica: But we're not ready! I mean, RB has been biting his nails, and look at the stubs on my hands! I can't stand the waiting.

Paige: Look, we're fine, and she'll be fine. We have a great place. What's not to like? She'll have us and RB. We'll treat her well.

Monica: But, how often does one find out you have a half sister? I mean, it's not every day, you know. And she's coming to live with us! What if she doesn't like us? What if we don't like her?What if she's a bitch? Oh my god, what if she's a complete, raving lunatic?!

Paige: You have too many thoughts, sis. Besides, we're half sisters too. We get along, and we'll get along with her. Plus she sounded like a nice person on the phone. It's why I made the invitation. If we should be wondering about anything, it's what the hell was our father thinking? Geez, he got around.

Monica: Heh. Yeah, that's true. He was a bit of a horndog, wasn't he. Well, my mom said nothing but nice things about him.

Paige: Mine thought he was an ass. Oh well. Thank god we're not our parents.

Monica: Oh so true. Well, I sure do hope she likes us.

Paige: I think she will. Hmmm... I wonder how she and RB will get along.

Monica: Oh, do not go there.

Paige: Why? Think they won't?

Monica: Oh, no. I think they will. I think she'll come in all beautiful redhead like and sweep him off his feet. Damn him. Damn her. I'm going to hate her, I know it. She'll be all "look, aren't I beautiful?" and I'll want to vomit all over. It's hard enough between us. Three's company was one thing, but four?

Paige: Oh, good point. Is that why you did your hair? It's very pretty.

Monica: Oh, thank you. And maybe. I got it all conditioned. RB really likes how it feels. Is that why you did yours?

Paige: Uhm... no, of course not. Just needed a change is all. You like it?

Monica: Oh yes. Very stylin. I like. RB will like. Between us, Alyson doesn't have a chance.

Paige: Whispers Hope not.

Monica: What was that?

Paige: Oh, nothing, nothing at all. It'll be wonderful having her here. Really, really nice. Yes. Nice... Forced Smile

Trekking to the Movies

Paige: Hey there. Paige here with, you guessed it, a review of the latest Star Trek movie.

Monica: It was awesome!

Paige: Oh shush, sis. "Awesome" is not a review, it's an opinion.

Monica: Hey, I didn't even like the old Trek stuff, but I think the movie was great. That has to mean something, if a regular non-geek can get into it.

Paige: Yes, yes it does. It means you were sucked in by the gullibility monster. I mean, it is true the characters were great, the movie was well cast, the acting was good, the basic storyline was good. But the science?! Oh my god, you've got to be kidding me. Did any of the writers make even the slightest effort at getting anything right? Couldn't they take the time to look it up on Wikipedia or something? Was a five minute Google search too much to ask for?

Monica: Uhm, who cares?

Paige: Anybody with a brain cares! Ok, folks, if you haven't seen the movie, spoilers below! Lent the rant begin.

Ok, I have no problem with all the Trek basics. Replicators, transporter, and warp drive are fine by me. I have no issue with that. That's just an assumption that with time such things may come to pass. Fine. But they got the science we do know so wrong it defies reason!

First of all, supernovas that threaten the galaxy?! What the hell was that about? Supernovae are bright, granted, but with stars so far apart a supernova could only threaten the local star system in which it resides. So unless Romulus was orbiting the star that blew there was little danger to anyone.

In addition, can anyone tell me how the hell Spock could witness the destruction of Vulcan from another planet? Unless he was on a moon of Vulcan, it is impossible to get a view of Vulcan's demise like he did. I mean, we can't even get a view like that with another planet in our own solar system. If Mars or Venus was gobbled by a black hole the only thing we'd see was a light in the sky winking out. Geez!

Those weren't the only issues, but those were by far the two biggest. If you'd like a list, the Discover magazine news site has a blog detailing more here. From issues with drilling holes to the core of a planet to exposure to space to how black holes really work, the movie was rife with problems.

Now, despite all those other issues, the two I mention above were my biggest ones. If it wasn't for those I think the movie would have been fantastic. With these mistakes, though, I found myself pulled out of suspension of disbelief. Why oh why did J.J. Abrams do that? Anyone with half a brain should have known better.

Monica: Uhm, I didn't notice those.

Paige: And my point is made.

Monica: Why are you being such a bitch?

Paige: I'll tell you if you tell me why Nero didn't just go and use that Red Matter stuff on the star that would destroy his planet before it exploded rather than take revenge on Spock.

Monica: Uhm... I can't.

Paige: Well then, I guess you'll just have to figure it out for yourself then. Sigh Rant done.

Monica: Still an awesome movie.

Paige: Yes, sis. Of course it is.

End of Semester Blues

Monica: Hey sis... whoa. You look trashed. Is that... champaign I smell?

Paige: Oh, hey Monica. Yeah, I'm beat. God I'm tired.

Monica: You, out partying? Little miss responsible? I never would have thought it.

Paige: Oh, no, I didn't drink a thing. Ok, not much, at least. It's the end of the school year. They had that celebration I mentioned for the seniors turning in their theses. I think I had three bottles of cheap champaign dumped on my head.

Monica: Oh yeah, you mentioned that. But wasn't the thesis thing on Friday?

Paige: Yeah, why?

Monica: Well, it's Monday.

Paige: Oh, crap!

Monica: Sure you didn't do anything? Get high, maybe? Lost time is pretty bad.

Paige: No, no... I just didn't sleep, and the contact high, I suppose. You know, there was the music and dancing, and the maze...

Monica: A maze.

Paige: Yeah! They built a big wooden maze in the center of campus. And there was the naked slip and slide...

Monica: Naked slip and slide...

Paige: Oh, and there was the Feast, softball, a room full of bouncy balls, and the Picting.

Monica: Picting?

Paige: Oh, a whole bunch of us painted ourselves blue and ran around naked, hugging people.

Monica: Ok, there is that naked thing again. It does explain the blue stuff all over your clothes, though. Does RB know about this?

Paige: Uhm... no. And don't tell him.

Monica: You didn't... do anything, did you? You know, with anyone? I mean, it sounds like a big drunken orgy to me.

Paige: Oh no, no, no. Most definitely not. RB is my guy, you know that! I just don't want him jealous is all.

Monica: What, of you running around naked hugging people?

Paige: Well... yes. But I was blue. Nobody recognized me, at least, I think they didn't.

Monica: Yeah, right. Well, I have to get to work. You go to bed. I'll see you when I get home.

Paige: Yes, sleep...

Monica: But shower first! I will not have our bed smelling like a brewery.

Paige: But I thought you liked breweries.

Monica: Only when I'm trying to get RB sloshed. He's more fun that way. Boy's a little shy, you know. But you better clean yourself up before he gets home or he'll know exactly what you were up to.

Paige: Yes, Mom.

Monica: Turn around is fair play. And next time try to get better champaign pored on yourself. That stuff smells terrible.

Paige: Yes, Ma'am.

Monica: And invite me, next time. I like parties.

Paige: What? And have you go around corrupting the freshmen? No way.

Monica: I'd be nice.

Paige: And what would RB think?

Monica: Well, what goes to there, stays there, right?

Paige: Smirk Uh huh. Right.

Monica: I wouldn't talk, blue girl. And besides, RB lives with two girls. He should feel privileged with whatever he gets.

Paige: Too true. Ok, I'll get you a guest pass next year.

Monica: Good. Now I better go or I'll be late. Sleep well!

Paige: TTFN!

Life, the Universe, and Everything

Paige: Hey everyone, I'm home!

Monica: Hey, Paige.

Paige: Hey. Where's RB? I just wanted to thank him for... something. You ever get that feeling that something's changed but can't quite figure out what? That reminds me, what are you doing home?

Monica: Oh, RB is still at work, and I wasn't feeling well today so I stayed home. I have a cold and doesn't it figure, I think I hurt my wrist. Damned carpel tunnel. And yeah, I know what you mean. I got this feeling like... like I don't know. I called into work and it felt funny, wrong somehow. But it's work. The idea of work is just wrong, so it's probably nothing.

Paige: Well, I just had a great class. Have to write a psych paper for the end of the term, though. It's supposed to be explaining some behavioral process in a fun and interesting way. I thought I'd explain behaviorism in the same style as Plato's Republic. You know, using a Socratic dialog and all that.

Monica: Uhm, yeah... Ok. You go do that. I'll just... watch TV and relax, pet a cat, keep my head from spinning.

Paige: You should have RB look at that. He fixed my wrist awhile back. Some of that oriental whatever he calls it should do the trick.

Monica: Oh, he said he would. That modeling gig for Coverdoll way back really did a number on me. I don't think my body was meant to go that way.

Paige: That's true. Remember, you're not Gumby. Well, Pokey maybe, but not Gumby.

Monica: Grrr Yeah, right. You better go write your paper or you'll be feeling like Mr. Bill.

Paige: Heh Will do. Geez, wish I could remember what I was going to thanks RB about.

Monica: When you figure it out let me know. Till then, can you pass that over to me? I forgot my drink on the counter.

Paige: Uhm, is a Mudslide a good thing to drink when you have a cold?

Monica: I figure the alcohol will kill all the bad stuff running around my body. Oh, remember to tell RB he's out of Kahlua.

Paige: Huh. Some things feel different, but other things feel the same. Strange.

Monica: Yep, strange. Bottoms up...

Get a Life

RB: Ok girls, time to go. There's the door. Get the hell out of here. I'm kicking you out.

Paige: Kicking us out?! Why? What did we do?

RB: You're not doing anything. That's the problem. I'm tired of all the crumbs on the couch and... geez, you drank all my Kahlua and Bailey's?! It's time you two get a life. And no, Guitar Hero and endless reruns of Charmed does not count as a life. Go. Scoot. Get outta here. Come back later and we'll talk.

Monica: Nooo! It's scary out there. Besides, we're dolls. We can't go anywhere without you. Pout

Paige: Yeah. How do you propose we go and get a life? We're not actually alive, or haven't you noticed?

RB: Look Paige, Monica. I love you both. But consider this an intervention. The thing is, this is a blog, and here you can do whatever you want. I know you love hanging out and having fun, but don't you think it's about time you expanded your horizons? Actually go out and live instead of sitting around here bickering about who has the better hair, dress, or the highest score at Dance Dance Revolution?

Paige: I'm not sure I'm following. I thought you liked having dolls at home.

RB: I do! But girls, the thing is that there is more to being a doll than just hanging out at home. Paige, I know you've been thinking of going back to college. Monica, don't you think it would be fun to actually have a job? Here you can do whatever you want. Why don't you?

Monica: Wait, what is this really about?

Paige: Yeah, what's really going on here. I thought you liked the way things were.

RB: Well, I admit that I've been reading your blog and... well, how do I put this. It's great and all, but you two are always doing the same thing. You make fun of Monica, Monica makes fun of you. You get new clothes, she steals them and shows them off. It gets old. I just think you could be doing so much more.

Monica: You're kidding, right? You want this blog to be some sort of soap opera?! Can you say boring? Geez.

Paige: She's right. Is this one of those writing things? You think that shaking things up will give you more creative leeway or something? Well, it's our blog, not yours. We can do whatever the hell we want.

RB: Well, then why don't you?

Paige: Well, you know. There's the doll thing. Then there's, well, you know, human things. We're not, you are. You know what I mean.

RB: Uhm... dolls don't talk. Or write blogs. So why stop there?

Monica: Well... hmmm... maybe he's right.

Paige: Sis, how can you say that?

Monica: Well, you know, after that Coverdoll spread I did wonder what it would be like to actually be that sexy secretary. That would be so fun.

Paige: You mean you would turn your back on RB and play with other boys?

Monica: Oh god no. RB is my man. But that doesn't mean I can't have a little fun leading people on. Evil Grin

RB: Don't go nuts there, Monica. You still have to come home to me, and I read the blog. Glare

Monica: Hey, you started it. I'm starting to like the idea. Yeah, let's do it.

Paige: Hmph Maybe. But if I go to school, well, things might not go so well.

RB: Like what?

Paige: You know, classes.

RB: What, like taking tests? Writing papers? Failing?

Monica: Sis, afraid of failure? I never would have guessed.

Paige: Oh shut up. You know, it's just different. Here I get to read stuff. There it actually has to mean something. Sigh Ok, ok. I'll do it. But if this doesn't work out I'm never leaving this house again.

RB: Good. Good. Trust me, it'll be alright. Ok, I got you both keys. Here. Now go have lives. I'm looking forward to reading all about them.

Paige: Damn, it's bright out there. You sure about this, sis?

Monica: Yeah, why not? Remember, we're still dolls. We can't get hurt. So what could go wrong?

Paige: Uhm, getting a life means having life things happen to us. You know, like zits.

Monica: What?! He didn't say anything about that! Maybe this isn't such a good idea.

Paige: Too late. Now out with you. Shove

Monica: Nooo...

Paige: I'm right here with you, sis. Now let's see what's out there...