The Watchers

Monica: So who watches the Watchmen?

Paige: We do. I mean did. Twice.

Monica: Yeah, it was pretty sweet.

Paige: Sweet?! It wasn't just sweet. It was fantastic! It was awesome! I so loved it. It was the comic book, but bigger and brighter on the big screen. If you're a fan of the book, I think this is the best movie interpretation they could have done, short of the inevitable director's cut, which I must say I'm greatly looking forward to.

Monica: Well, it was pretty good.

Paige: Huh. You're not exactly showing the enthusiasm.

Monica: Oh, I liked it, don't get me wrong. Just not like you did.

Paige: Well, if it wasn't the bestest thing you ever saw, what do you think about it?

Monica: Uhm... well... How do I put this... How old are we?

Paige: Do you mean human years or doll years?

Monica: Human, I guess. It's hard enough thinking in doll time.

Paige: Well, I suppose we're about twenty one?

Monica: Yeah, that sounds right. So the movie takes place in 1985. So what the hell do we know about 1985? We're the 9/11 generation, sis. I don't know anything about that Vietnam stuff. Talk about hard to relate. And who the hell is Richard Nixon to me? That is so yesteryear. I have enough trouble thinking about last year let alone twenty!

Paige: Well, I suppose you might be right. But RB filled me on everything. He was an '80s kid after all. But hey, if you know anything about the cold war, just imagine what a difference those superheroes would have made. It's mind blowing. They were amazing, even if they didn't have super powers. Well, everyone but Dr. Manhattan.

Monica: Yeah, and what's with that? They're all like... normal screwed up people. Iron Man was awesome, even if he did drink like a fish. Spiderman was awesome, despite his being all nerdy. But that Rorschach guy? He was just mean and paranoid, and let's not even talk about his issues. I do have to say, though, Dr. Manhattan had a really nice... butt. Giggle

Paige: Uhm, yeah. He was... well formed. But besides that, I think that's the whole point of the movie. Before Watchmen the comic came out, every comic was like Spiderman and Iron Man. They just weren't really human, you know? And now this movie is doing the same thing. Every bad review I've read said just what you said. It wasn't Spiderman. Well no duh! It's not supposed to be. I'm hoping this movie does to Hollywood what Watchmen did to comic books. I'd like to see things with real people, not all that feel good fluff. No wonder Hollywood has been complaining that people aren't watching movies like they used to. It's because they keep coming out with mindless crap.

Monica: Hey, I like mindless crap... I mean light entertainment. I don't want to go to movies to watch depressed people. I just want to have fun and not think for a couple hours.

Paige: That's because you don't like thinking in general. No wonder you didn't like it. All you do is go see stuff like Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Huff

Monica: I did not go see Paul Blart. Even I have my limits. And I didn't say I didn't like Watchmen. I did. I just wasn't all jump around excited. You can't seem to sit still for one minute thinking about it.

Paige: That's because it was perfect. A perfect movie about a perfect comic book.

Monica: Well, I can think of better things to get all hot and bothered about. In fact, there's one thing around here that can get me wiggling in my seat. Where is RB anyway?

Paige: Sigh He's around here somewhere. I think he said something about re-reading the comic.

Monica: Oh goody. I think it's time for a little distraction from all that depressing stuff.

Paige: You know, sometimes he just likes having an intellectual conversation. That's why we get along so well.

Monica: Talk is for pansies. I like to get more... physical. Smirk

Paige: Ah. Now I know what you really liked about Watchmen. I think a little scene aboard Archie may have been to your liking.

Monica: Yeah, I can see being really worked up after a good fight. And those costumes were pretty swank, especially peeling out of them.

Paige: Ooh, grand idea. I'll see if I can find a Silk Specter outfit somewhere.

Monica: Now you're talking. Nothing like a little spandex to get the blood pumping.

The Watchmen

Paige: Hey sis. I think we're really overdo for a conversation. What do you say?

Monica: Oh oh.

Paige: What?

Monica: This is going to be one of those, isn't it.

Paige: I have no idea what you mean.

Monica: Well, you have that serious look, which I know means that today's title has nothing to do with the upcoming movie and that you want to say something serious. I really hate serious. I told you I hate serious, right? Really. Hate. Serious.

Paige: Well, it can't be all fun and games, now, can it?

Monica: Well, why not?

Paige: Because. RB has been really struggling lately. He's had a lot on his mind, and I think it's our duty to help him sort it out. Don't you?

Monica: Sigh Well, I'll do anything for RB. You know that. But geez, do we have to, you know, be serious?

Paige: Sorry, no other way to do it.

Monica: Oh, ok. I suppose. Slump

Paige: Ok, I wanted to talk to you about guilt.

Monica: Oh you have got to be kidding! Why should I feel guilty about anything?

Paige: See! That's what I need. I didn't mean you should feel guilty. I figured you could help RB figure out all this guilt stuff he's been going through. Who better than you to set him straight?

Monica: Oh, I feel so honored.

Paige: Well, you are the expert.

Monica: Hey, if RB should feel guilty about anything, it's that he's feeling guilty. I know he's one of those new age sensitive guy types, and that's sweet and all, but really, he needs to get a grip. He's not doing anyone any favors. Guilt isn't about dealing with your stuff, its about running away.

Paige: Ooh You got that right. He really has been running away from things. Poor guy has even been hiding away from his friends. That's why I thought we'd speak up. If he won't, who else will?

Monica: Well, if you put it that way, then he should forget all this guilt crap. If anything he should be ashamed of himself.

Paige: Hey, be nice!

Monica: No, really. I mean, RB hates causing others pain, right? The guy can't smash a mosquito without feeling bad. So if he's feeling guilty it's because he feels bad about hurting others. But by running away that's exactly what he's doing. What did you tell me about that class you took? Shame based versus guilt based cultures, right? Well, someone needs to slap him upside the head and set him straight because all that internal struggle stuff isn't doing him any good. Now that's a good use for shame.

Paige: You shouldn't use my words against me, or RB. It's not good.

Monica: But am I wrong?

Paige: No, you're not wrong. Sigh

Monica: So there. I'm always right.

Paige: Oh, I didn't say that.

Monica: You might as well have. The blonde is always right. But hey, not to change the subject, which I most definitely want to do, but what's with today's blog title anyway?

Paige: Well, the movie is coming out tomorrow, and I'm so looking forward to it, but I thought it might make a good metaphor for what RB has been going through.

Monica: How so?

Paige: Well, part of the problem is that he feels he's been taking all the responsibility for stuff. The thing is, one person can never be responsible for everything. It takes at least two to have a conflict. So if someone is screwing up, who takes the responsibility to fix it?

Monica: Oh, I get it! Uhm... everyone has to to take responsibility. Who watches the watchmen? The watchmen watch each other!

Paige: Not bad. Plato would be proud. Yes, that's what I mean.

Monica: Still, I believe we can only be responsible for ourselves. So how does that fit in?

Paige: Yeah, you're right. Still means RB can't do it all by himself. He's feeling guilty because he thinks he fell down on the job, so to speak, but there was no way he could do the job by himself.

Monica: Well then, he should stop feeling guilty, shouldn't he. Smile

Paige: Oh so clever. Yes, you're right. You're always right. I worship at your feet you're so right.

Monica: Ah, now that's the way it should be. Mind massaging my foot while you're down there? Yes, a little to the left. That's it...

Cake

RB: Hey girls!

Paige: Oh, hey.

Monica: Hi there. What's up?

RB: Uhm, girls, aren't you excited? Today is a special day.

Paige: Huh? Oh, yeah, my priest is just a few bars away from level 80. I think I might get there today.

RB: Huff No, it's not about Warcraft.

Monica: What? Something wrong? You're going on another trip? You're not storing us in that silly crate again, are you?

RB: No, for heaven's sake. I'm not going anywhere. You mean you don't remember? Geez, I thought all girls remembered this stuff.

Monica: No idea what you're talking about. 

Paige: Yeah. You're going to spill the beans, or what?

RB: It's you're birthday, girls. You arrived on my doorstep one year ago today. Well, the old doorstep, but you know what I mean.

Paige: Gasp Oh my god!

Monica: Squee! Oh my... You're right. Sis, how could we forget?!

Paige: I think I tried to erase that awful trip from from my mind.

RB: Well, no need. You're safe and sound here. Happy birthday, girls. I love you both.  Hug... Hug...

Monica: I love you, RB! Kiss

Paige: I love you too. Kiss... French kiss...

Monica: Hey you two, get a room.

Paige: Great idea. 

Monica: Hey! Not without me you're not.

RB: Down girls, down. I love you both. Equally.

Monica: You better.

RB: Well, I was thinking of something special. Cake sound good?

Paige: What you trying to fatten us up?

RB: Huh? You look great. Not like you have to worry about it. But if not cake, cupcakes then? With candles?

Monica: I want the good frosting. Not that cheap crap.

Paige: Uhm, why don't we skip the cupcake and go right to the frosting?

Monica: Now you're talking, sis. 

RB: Blush Well, I wouldn't complain.

Paige: Excellent. Evil grin

Monica: You go get it. I think this calls for a little dress up. Give me some time to look pretty for you.

Paige: Or dressing down.

Monica: That too. Smile

RB: You two always look pretty, just as you are.

Monica: In that case, sis is right. We'll just throw the clothes on the floor and call it good. See you upstairs when you're ready.

Paige: Yep. And hurry. We might not be able to wait.

RB: Uhm... yes, of course. Right away.

Paige: And you folks out there, shoo. We're busy.

Monica: We talk to you later though. Wink

Fancy Pants

Paige: ...dum dum de de dum...

Monica: Hey, sis, whatcha humming?

Paige: Oh, you know. Code Monkey. Been on my mind ever since the concert.

Monica: Oh, tell me about it. I can't get Re: Your Brains out of my head.

Paige: How come that doesn't surprise me one bit. I hope it doesn't give you any ideas.

Monica: Oh, yeah. Like I'm going to start getting hungry for brains.

Paige: You know, there is an opening there that is just too obvious for me to step through.

Monica: What do you mean?

Paige: And see? There's another one. But hey, that reminds me. I realize that folks out there may have no idea what we're talking about either. We went to a Jonathan Coulton concert last Saturday. Oh my god is he a blast. If you don't know who he is, let me tell you, run, don't walk, to his website and check him out. He's a great musician and the funniest thing since, well, him. He and the dynamic duo of Paul and Storm put on a really wonderful show. See, I took a picture.

Monica: Geez, what did I tell you about your photography? And I don't see Molly. Don't forget Molly, sis. Molly! She was great!

Paige: Oh, yeah. Can't forget her. She plays one mean ukulele. Hey, you there! You think I'm joking? Uke's are nothing to laugh at. You should see her cover of Britney Spear's Toxic if you think I'm lying. But that wasn't the kicker. Oh no. Her song My Hope was a hoot! I'll never think of MySpace the same way again.

Monica: Hey sis, I think you're going a little heavy handed with the links there. You sure the intertubes haven't taken over your brain?

Paige: Huh? I have no idea what you could mean.

Monica: Well, why don't you tell folks what you were doing there while you were humming along, minding your own business?

Paige: What?! I was just playing World of Warcraft. What's wrong with that?

Monica: Huh. That seems pretty obvious. You're such a geek!

Paige: I am not a geek.

Monica: Yeah, right. And what's your favorite Youtube video of Code Monkey? Here, let me show everybody.

Now isn't that just the geekiest thing you've ever seen?

Paige: Well, I think it's... cute. Pout I mean, it's two of the best things out there, all in one!

Monica: I rest my case. Can you say "nerd"?

Paige: Well, yeah, and damn proud of it, too. Why don't you go preen somewhere else, Miss Fancy Pants. I have a game to play. My priest is almost level 80.

Monica: Well enjoy yourself. Since you're too busy I'll go see what RB is up to.

Paige: Uhm, yeah, ok. See ya'. Later. Hmmm... maybe she's right. I don't need the internet, right? I mean... ooh, nice wand. Well, maybe I'll play just a little bit more... 

Home and Hearth

Paige: Whew! Looks like we're all moved in.

Monica: Well, mostly. Place is still a mess. I keep stubbing my toes on boxes. My poor, poor toes.

Paige: If you'd helped more, maybe there wouldn't be any boxes and your poor toes would be perfectly safe.

Monica: Oh? If you'd stop trying to look slinky in front of the fireplace, maybe RB would be helping out more. He's the one with the big, strong back after all. See, I have proof...

Paige: Oh. Well, it was a very nice fire. I was just... getting comfortable.

Monica: I'd say you were trying to get RB comfortable, too. You were asking him if he liked the dress after all. And is that a new hairstyle?

Paige: Oh, yes, do you like it? Thought I'd see how I'd look with out the highlights, and it frames my face very nicely. And the dress! Of course I was asking RB about it. It was a wonderful Christmas gift from Zoe and Mandie. I can't thank them enough for it. You're one to complain. Didn't you like the dress they got you? And let's not forget those sexy shoes.

Monica: Blush Well, of course. The dress is great.

Paige: That's it? Just great?

Monica: Ok, ok. I love it. And I love how RB looks at me when I wear it. He gets this look in his eye which is oh so cute. Thank you Zoe! I have to worship at the feet of anyone who can help getting giving RB that look. I just didn't want to say anything.

Paige: Why? You're the last one I ever expect to hold anything back.

Monica: You know!  You just get so... I don't know. Smug.

Paige: Me, smug? Well, sometimes you deserve being put in your place, but I'm the last one to be throwing stones in this case. I do love how RB looks at us in those dresses. In case anybody was wondering, here is sis, looking pretty slinky herself, if I do say so.

Monica: Hey, let's not forget to show off those shoes. They are so pretty...

Paige: That they are, sis. Hey, didn't I see you trying out a new hairstyle yourself?

Monica: Well, yes. Not sure about it, though.

Paige: Well, mind if we all have a look and see?

Monica: Oh, ok. Here. I hope it doesn't look too bad. Be gentle.

Paige: Oh, that is so cute. You're adorable!

Monica: See! I don't want to be adorable. I want to be amazingly desirable.

Paige: Well, I'm not the one to ask. What does RB have to say?

Monica: He just gets shy and smiles. I have no idea what that means.

Paige: If I know him, it's a very, very good sign. I've noticed that the sexier he finds you, the quieter he seems to get. There was this one time... well, let's just say I think he likes it. Alot.

Monica: Well, ok. If you say so. Uhmm... I was just thinking. Do you think we should be showing off pictures of the house?

Paige: Ooh, you're right. We did promise, didn't we. I was just thinking about that whole privacy thing, though. You know. Do we really want all those people out there looking inside our house?

Monica: I love our house. We should show it off as much as we can. But I can see what you mean. Seems creepy, doesn't it, showing complete strangers around? But how about this? We can start with the living room, and then do pictures of us in a different room in future blogs.

Paige: RB was complaining about carrying us up the stairs, but yeah, that would be cool. Kinda like a fashion show, but the model is the house.

Monica: Heh Nice idea. Ok. Here is the living room. Kinda. Ignore the clutter, and the bad viewing angle.

Paige: You saying I'm not a good photographer?

Monica: Well, now that you mention it...

Paige: Ok, ok, you're right. Not my forte, I know. But this is what we got, so deal. 

Monica: There you go. The first of a series. Our lovely living room. And maybe one day my sis will learn how to take a picture and we'll show you a better one in the future.

Paige: Ok, I take back what I said about your being slinky.

Monica: Sorry, no take backs. I'm slinky and you're a lousy photographer.

Paige: Sigh. Ok, I'll practice. At least digital cameras make that easy. Kinda like some dolls I know.

Monica: Why you...!

Paige: Hee hee! Ok, we're signing out before my sister beats me up. See you all later!

New Year, New Day

Monica: Squee! Hello everyone! Here is the great Pacific Northwet, we're celebrating not only a new year, but a new home as well.

Paige: And what a long road it has been, let me tell you. For those of you living in far off places where news it just something rumored to exist just over the next hill, our home city had a snow storm that shut down the everything, and I mean everything, for a week. Our movers were snow bound as well, so we were stuck living out of boxes until everything melted. We're finally here, though, at long last.

Monica: Oh... my... god, I'm glad that is over.

Paige: You kidding?! Nothing over about it. While you've been sitting on your lovely little tush drinking mint julips, RB and I have been working. There is so much unpacking to do! Plus, this was a foreclosed house, too. The place had been stripped so we have to replace every appliance down to the door knobs. 

Monica: Believe me, I've been breaking a sweat watching you. Need something to drink?

Paige: No, I'm good. Wait, is that a mimosa?

Monica: Why yes, it is. Very tasty. Slurp

Paige: Oh god! I was wondering where our orange juice was going. And I thought I was joking about the drinks.

Monica: Burp Well, something had to be done with the leftover champagne from new year's eve.

Paige: Hey, not our fault we didn't finish moving until earlier that day. I was too tired to stay up late.

Monica: Well, I've given the old champagne new life. No crime in that.

Paige: The crime here is you not helping out.

Monica: I help plenty. I'm what they call good for moral. Speaking of which, Claire's last comment mentioned something about you in a Devo hat and a whip. I thought this new tune from Devo would be a better inspiration for you while you work.

Paige: Ooh, sweet. I didn't know they were coming out with anything new... hey! Stop distracting me.

Monica: But that's my job. You want me to do my job, right?

Paige: Sipping mimosa's and searching YouTube is not a job.

Monica: Yeah, you're right. More like a calling. Speaking of which...

Paige: Sigh Well, I think we lost her to the intertubes. She hasn't been the same since we got our network connection back. I guess that's my queue to go unpack another box. We'll talk to you all again soon!

Dollhouse Adventures

Monica: Hey everyone! Look, we're still here. Yoohoo... Whistle Over here. This way. Yes, very good. See, my sis and I are still around. Really we are.

Paige: Yep, still alive and kicking. Well, kicking, anyway. We are dolls after all.

Monica: We are so alive. We're more alive that most people we know.

Paige: Well, that's certainly the truth. Amen.

Monica: We just wanted everyone to know that we haven't abandoned them. You see, life with RB has been busy, busy, busy!

Paige: Tell me about it! RB's head looks like it's ready to spin in circles and spit pea soup.

Monica: Heh Well, he is turning a bright shade of green at least. You see, RB got it in his head, don't ask me why, to buy a house.

Paige: What was that foolish boy thinking?!? Doesn't he know he should be saving money! We're in a recession for god's sake...

Monica: Hey, it's a buyer's market out there, and you know it. Lots of tasty little homes out there ripe for the picking. And wouldn't you know it, he found a very delicious one on his first day of looking. Some poor person out there lost their house and the bank was selling it cheap. Oh, it is so cute. I can't wait to move in.

Paige: Cute, yeah. Stripped of every appliance down to the doorknobs, though. Geez!

Monica: Well, that means we get to pick out all everything we like. It means we get to go shopping! Yay!

Paige: Hey, didn't we have enough of that on Black Friday? How long did we spend at the appliance store? Like 3 hours?

Monica: You can never have enough shopping, I say. Besides, isn't like Home Depot our next stop?

Paige: Oh yeah... Power tools... Drool

Monica: See, I knew she'd get into the spirit of it. Anyways, the whole thing has been going fast, and RB has been jumping through more hoops than a dog at the Westminster Dog Show.

Paige: You do know they don't actually have them jump through hoops, don't you?

Monica: Well duh. But do you see what those poor dogs go through? They get patted down, teeth examined, and then paraded around like everybody has a right to look at their privates. Sit, stand, walk, run. It's downright humiliating. And for what? A dog biscuit. 

Paige: Well, when you put it that way, I guess that pretty much describes what RB has been going through. The banks have done everything but looks down his drawers. I think they'd do that too if they could get away with it. Only difference is that it's one big honking biscuit he gets in the end.

Monica: Ain't that the truth. Well, at this rate it looks like we'll be in by Christmas.

Paige: Hey, doesn't that mean we have to move too?

Monica: Oh dear, not the crate again.

Paige: Yep. At least it's not a week of travel. Just a few hours. Oh, that reminds me. There is one thing about the house you won't like.

Monica: Oh? What would that be?

Paige: Stairs.

Monica: Hmmm... Well, yeah, you're right. RB needs to work out some more if he's going to be toting us up and down the stairs.

Paige: Yeah, especially with how much you weigh.

Monica: Hey! Are you saying I'm fat?!

Paige: Well, you're not exactly... light.

Monica: I'll have you know that I am a perfectly respectable weight. You too, I might add.

Paige: Well, for an RG, yeah. But we're not RG's, sis. RB has to get us up and down those stairs without dropping us and we're all dead weight. I, for one, will be fearing for my life.

Monica: Ooh, you're right. Ok, I'll get RB on that exercise routine right away. He's been complaining about his weight anyway.

Paige: I'll bring the whips. That boy needs a little motivation.

Monica: Dear, I don't think that's going to help get him get out of bed. Into it, maybe.

Paige: Geez, don't you ever think of anything else?

Monica: Is there anything else to think of? Well, besides shopping, that is.

Paige: I don't know. World peace? The economy?

Monica: You're kidding me, right?

Paige: Yeah. Who'd want to talk about any of that. That's downright depressing right now.

Monica: My point exactly. Ok, back on topic. I'm sorry we can't show pictures. RB snapped about a hundred of the place, but not a one for any of you I'm afraid.

Paige: Sad to say but the place is still in the public domain until RB takes ownership. We like our privacy, thank you very much. Until it's off the market and the realtors have take it's pictures offline we'll have to stay on the down low. I'm sure we'll show plenty of the inside after we move in.

Monica: Yes indeedy. So there you go, folks. A dollhouse to call our own! No more apartment! Freedom to run around in our underwear with impunity!

Paige: Uhm, you do that anyway.

Monica: Oh, yeah. Well, how's about the freedom to play Dance Dance Revolution without worrying about downstairs neighbors?

Paige: Oh my god, you're right! Hip hip, hooray!