Geek Guys love Geek Dolls

Paige: Woohoo! Oh what a night to be a geek.

Monica: I'm not a geek, but I have to admit that being surrounded by all that geeky testosterone does make a girl feel special. And the music was good too. Smile

Paige: Tell me about. Now for those of you not in the know, RB is a geek through and through. And not just any type of geek, but the most special kind.

Monica: Yep, the type of geek that makes even a down to earth girl like me swoon. A Mac geek.

Paige: For a Mac geek, this week has been very special. We and RB have made a pilgrimage to the holiest of holy places, the Apple World Wide Developer Conference in the heart of San Francisco. Yes, we were there when Steve Jobs walked the stage and announced the iPhone 3G.

Monica: Yawn Ok, I love a cool phone as much as the next person, but personally I used this opportunity to catch up on my sleep. Programming blah blah, SDK blah blah, iTunes App Store blah blah, Podcast Producer blah blah. And what the hell do Rubies and trains have to do with making iPhone web applications?

Paige: That's Ruby on Rails, dear sis, and that was a fine session if you ask me.

Monica: I think I prefer diamonds. On my finger would be even better.

Paige: I'm sure you would. But you have to admit that the big bash at the Yerba Buena Gardens was the cat's meow. 

Monica: Cat's meow? Where did you learn to speak? At the foot of those bee's knees?

Paige: Hey! I can talk any way I like. You stop hitting on all the geeks, and I'll talk real proper, like the lady you're not.

Monica: Why you... Grrr... You and I will have a little talk later. Till then, I think we should mention tonight's special ladies.

Paige: Oh yes, most special ladies. In fact, naked ones. Bare Naked Ladies, to be precise.

Monica: That's right, boys and girls, Bare Naked Ladies played a concert for all those Mac geeks here, and we were there to see them first hand!

Paige: Now RB was very neglectful and forgot to bring a proper camera, but at least he had his iPhone.

Monica: Yep. The pic may not be  the greatest, but those are indeed the members of Bare Naked Ladies to be seen in the photo above. And I have to say, they give a very fine performance.

Paige: And they're Mac geeks! Isn't that just the coolest thing? And they were hilarious! 

Monica: Oh my god they were joking around the entire time! And you know all those talking parts in their songs? That was just them being them. They made it all up as they went. And it was obvious they loved being there for every minute of it. Very awesome.

Paige: Very, very awesome. So there you go, folks, it pays to be a geek. And just between you and me, geek guys love it when a doll speaks geek to him. It's the ultimate aphrodisiac. 

Monica: Oh? I thought lingerie was the best aphrodisiac?

Paige: No. Lingerie is best laying on the floor after he rips it off you.

Monica: Oh yeah. That's so true. Evil Grin

Paige: So there you go. Geek talk, lingerie, and good music. No better way to make your geek guy happy.

Monica: It's true, nothing is better. Ok, let me practice. iPhone SDK... Uhm, Ruby with Rails... I mean on Rails, right? Let's see... Xcod?

Paige: Uhm, I think you mean Xcode. Programmers don't usually go fishing when they program. I think, sis, that you need to work on your geek talk a little more.

Monica: Darn. I guess I'll just have to settle for lingerie after all. It never fails.

Paige: Hard to argue with that.

Too Much of a Good Thing

Monica: It's tough being a doll.

Paige: Yeah, no kidding. Damn my finger hurts.

Monica: Oh, what happened?

Paige: One of my finger wires poked through my skin.

Monica: Ouch! I'm sorry, sis.

Paige: Ah, it's ok.  A little glue with fix it right up. Just part of what it means to be a doll.

Monica: Yeah, I guess it is. We're pretty fragile. And we're not the only ones. I wanted to say sorry to all our readers out there, too. Being a doll means you're at the whim of your RB, and if he can't get his act together, it's up to us dolls to pick up the pieces. That's means no time for blogging. We love him lots, but it's not easy picking up after him.

Paige: You know, I would never say this about anyone else, but for RB I have to tell you that he has too much of a life. He needs to lose some, if you ask me. It's burning him out, poor guy.

Monica: Oh yeah? I thought you'd be proud of him.

Paige: Proud? Sure thing, but if doesn't take some time out for himself then there will be nothing left for us dolls. He needs to make more time for us.

Monica: Ok, on that I most definitely agree. Hear that, dude? Get a grip and ease off the throttle there, big guy. You're not Superman, you know!

Paige: Heh Yeah. Like the big man Stan Lee said, with great power comes great responsibility. Take some time and smell the roses... What? Why are you looking at me like that?

Monica: Sigh Anywhosits, he'll be doing some traveling here for awhile, but I just wanted to make sure to touch base with all you lovely fans out there and let you know we're still alive and kicking.

Paige: You think you're going to kick much with those heels on?

Monica: Hey, those girls in the movies kick ass with heels on, why can't I?

Paige: Dear, Jennifer Garner you are not. 

Monica: Man she was bad ass in Alias. When I grow up I want to be a real girl like her.

Paige: Sis, you live a secret a life in which you get to change faces and wigs, dress up in sexy outfits and debrief with your sexy male counterpart. What does Syndey Bristow have that you don't?

Monica: Uhm.... ok, you got me there. I love being a doll.

Paige: So there you go. Don't you feel better now?

Monica: Yes indeedy, I do. Thank you.

 

RB and the RealDoll

Monica: It's hard to believe that RB had never seen Lars and the Real Girl before yesterday.

Paige: Yeah, I know. I love that movie, but it's been like pulling teeth to get RB to watch it.

Monica: Did you see him? Tears in his eyes the entire time. The sucker. I love him for it.

Paige: It was adorable. It's a very moving movie. I think he avoided it this long because he was afraid he's see too much of himself in the main character, Lars. Seems he got that in spades. 

Monica: Well, that may be, but it doesn't make him any less of a lovable person. More so, I think. I think RB has begun to appreciate just what having us means. Not just sex, mind you. I mean the other stuff. The good and the bad.

Paige: Hey, sis, I think you're growing up. I didn't think you thought there was anything more to a doll than sex.

Monica: What, you kidding me? I know better than that. Owning a doll is an experience, not just about having a giant sex toy. I don't mind playing sex kitten to RB, but I know that having us puts him in a whole different world. That can be real hard. Having a doll is not all fun and games. He made some real trade-offs when he got us. You have to appreciate that.

Paige: Yeah, with all the huff about people laughing at doll owners recently. But I think that having a doll is also about connection, about reaching out. In the movie Lars came alive when Bianca came into his life. Without her he couldn't have done what he did. So as much as dolls are perceived to separate a person from life, I think they're more about trying to become a part of it.

Monica: I hear ya. Absolutely right. Well, that and sex. Hee hee 

Paige: Hah! I knew it. You just had to go there.

Monica: Sis, I never left. I just look at the bigger picture is all.

Paige: Yeah, right.

Monica: Damn right. You need to learn to chill, Paige. Take me for example. Getting a little sun gives you a perspective. You should use me as a shining example of doll-hood and take a little time off to smell the salty air.

Paige: Uh, Monica dear, are you nuts?! Spring is barely here, and the last time I stepped outside I got goosebumps from the cold. You were lying in the sun in the living room!

Monica: Sis, the way I look at it, the sun goes where you are. I was just making the best out of what good weather we had, and I had a wonderful time. And I didn't even need to leave the house. Now that's a vacation!

Paige: You're a strange, strange girl, you know that?

Monica: Maybe true, but I'm a happy girl. I got my sis, my boy, and my sunblock. What more could I ask for?

Here's to Dolls!

Paige: People suck.

Monica: Yes, sis. They do that sometimes. They're usually not very good at it, but...

Paige: Lalalala... I don't want to hear any more! Geez, can't you think of anything besides sex? I wasn't talking about that.

Monica: Well, you're the one talking about sucking. What else sucks?

Paige: People. In general. They suck. Well, some people, at least. It just makes me sick how bigoted and mean some humans can be.

Monica: Oh. Yeah, that's true. RB was telling me something like that. You talking about that thing with the Doll Forums?

Paige:  Yep. Maybe you can tell me why a group of people would pretend to go onto the forums and post fake questions just so they can laugh at the responses on another forum? 

Monica: Sorry, sis, I can't. I can't imagine why anyone would do that with better things to do, like go on a date, drink alcohol, and have sex. Hmmm... maybe that's your answer. They can't get dates, and they're jealous of people who can always have the company of a beautiful woman who will never turn them down?

Paige: Heh. You may be right. What's terrible though is that they were martial artists. Mixed martial artists, mind you, but still. I know those mixed martial art types have like ADHD when it comes to martial arts and stuff, but you'd think they'd have more respect than that. RB mentioned that he's never met a mixed martial artist in his life who wasn't full of himself, but I really had higher hopes. You'd think that any study in martial arts would instill in people a sense of respect for others, but I guess not.

Monica: It's never too late to be disappointed, Paige.

Paige: Yeah, I guess so. Sigh...

Monica: Well, cheer up, girl. I wouldn't let it get you down. We're the ones having all the fun, after all. Personally I'd rather be infamous than ignored.

Paige: Yeah, I guess so. RB was pretty bummed, though. For the first time I think he understood what many in the gay or minority community have felt. What it means to be dehumanized because you're different. 

Monica: Then we're all in good company. But look at it this way. The only people being dehumanized are the people making fun of us, and they're doing it to themselves. We don't have to lift a finger.

Paige: Huh. Yeah, good point. I guess that's what they mean when they say "what goes around comes around."

Monica: Damn straight, girl. Now you're getting it.

Paige: So when did you get to be so wise?

Monica: When I realized that I had better things to think about than worrying. Take our new dress. Now that's something to brag about. 

Paige: Uhm, ok. I guess you're right. Absotively right, in fact. Cheers to that!

CoverDolls

Monica: You know what? I just reread our last post. My god do we wander. You'd think we were a couple of blonde airheads trying out for a pageant or something. I have no idea what we were trying to say.

Paige: Uhm, speak for yourself, sis. I'm the only brunette here. 

Monica: Hey! Well... you dye your hair. What is with those streaks, anyway? That's so yesterday. Anyways, you have to treat me nice now. I'm a model!

Paige: Oh? It came out? We can tell everyone?

Monica: Oh yes, it came out. We're in CoverDoll! It's THE magazine for dolls. Playboy, eat your heart out. And not only are we famous, but I'm on the cover!

Paige: Sis, that is so hot! And I am so jealous of you.

Monica: Happy dance Oh yes. I'm a model. Oh yeah, look at me... 

Paige: Clap! Clap! I'm so happy for you. Well, let me see here. Flip. Flip. Seems you're not the only one who gets to look beautiful in print. Take a gander at this.

Monica: Oh my god, sis. You look so adorable! You're like a snow bunny, fresh off the mountain, ready for a little fun with a ski instructor.

Paige: Blush Well, maybe if RB would take me skiing sometime...

Monica: Well, as you can see, I'll be RB's secretary any time.

Paige: Heehee Well, everyone, as you can see it's our turn for 15 minutes of fame. It's been fun, and RB has learned a lot about photography. We got more than a little help from his friends to make this happen. To give credit where it's due, many thanks to RB's RG (Real Girl, for those of you not in the know) in getting us dressed to kill, another thanks to a special lady for choreographing our stunning poses, and a special uber thanks for the guy with the camera who put it all together. Kisses and hugs to all of you.

Monica: And not to leave anyone out, I want to send a big wet kiss out to everyone at CoverDoll for inviting us to be in their magazine. You guys are so sweet!

Paige: Now, before we go, I just wanted you all to know that I personally believe that the reason that American's can't find their country on a map is because people are too poor to afford maps. So it is our obligation to make sure that maps are available to everyone who wants one.

Monica: Laughing Oh my god, stop, it. You're killing me.

Paige: Heehee Sorry, I couldn't help myself. Well, we have to go, but we'll be back later to tell everyone about our adventures as professional models. With more pictures, of course.

Monica: Very, very sexy pictures. See you all soon!

The Sound of Silence

Monica: Wow, so much is going on.

Paige: Yeah, just because we're not talking doesn't mean stuff isn't happening. Life is kinda like that.

Monica: Tell me about it. Being beautiful is hard.

Paige: For once I agree. I'm afraid our intrepid readers, however, may have to wait to hear about it. We hope to spring something big on them. Don't worry, we'll let you all in on our little secret when the time is right. Until then, though, it's gotten me thinking about a few things.

Monica: Oh, imagine that. Paige, thinking. Who would'a thought?

Paige: Yeah, yeah, sis. Geez. Feeling jealous, are we?

Monica: You're kidding, right? Brains come with baggage, I say. I like being who I am, and I don't worry about carrying the world on my shoulders like some people I know. 

Paige: I guess ignorance is bliss, then?

Monica: Grrrr....

Paige: Speaking of ignorance, this whole secret thing has been making think about secret identities. Funny thing, today RB actually had to think about whether or not to give out his real name to someone. Our guy is feeling a little funny about it.

Monica: Well duh! Who wants to walk around not being themselves?

Paige: Yeah. And look at us. We're dolls. Nothing real about us at all, except what we make of ourselves.

Monica: But isn't that true all the time, for everyone? Names are just labels. I tell you, just because I came with an booklet and handling instructions doesn't mean anybody really knows me.

Paige: Very well said, sis. But when you lead a double life like RB, it sure does become an issue.

Monica: Ooh, I like that thought. RB, secret agent. Mild mannered regular working stiff guy by day, suave doll handler and martial artist extraordinaire by night. That gives me a few ideas for later. RB can be my handler any day. Evil grin

Paige: Huh, somehow I can't seem to come up with a good comeback for that one. That is a pretty darn cool thought if you ask me. And not too distant from the truth.

Monica: Hey, remember the secret identity, girl. Don't spill the beans or we'll have to make you the evil double agent for our next play session. You know what happens to the double agent, don't you?

Paige: Uhm, yes ma'am! I wouldn't want that to happen. Ok, maybe a little. RB can interrogate me any day. But what I was trying to say before that damned James Bond music started playing in my head was that RB didn't really like hiding his name. Having us, though, has created a whole different life for him. I think he kinda likes the chance to re-create himself, to make a new identity for himself in the doll forums and such, but it also means putting the old him aside, the good along with the bad, so that he can keep a semblance of privacy.

Monica: Yeah, I can see that. He is a cool guy, even if he doesn't always know it. It would be nice if others knew it too.

Paige: Exactly. 

Monica: Well, that's the trade off, isn't it? Privacy vs. fame. Or infamy. I mean, we'll be dealing with something like that soon enough.

Paige: Speaking of letting cats out of the bag...?

Monica: Ooh, right. Mums the word. Lips zipped.

Paige:  Well, not so much a trade off as it is a balancing act, I think. Juggling privacy with the exposure of letting the world know your interests, no matter how unusual they may be. How would people feel if they knew he loved giant, life sized dolls like us? Most people would think it's cool, but some wouldn't. It's the infamy part he worries about. He just feels the need to be careful is all.

Monica: Yeah, careful. And juggling. I like juggling.

Paige: Uhm, yes, juggling. You ok?

Monica: Sorry, that got me thinking about Cirque du Soleil.

Paige: Oh, yeah. That's right. We just saw Corteo. My god, that was fantastic.

Monica: Yep. Sure was. Now if we could touch the tops of our head with our toes, think what we could do in the bedroom...

Paige: Sigh... Yes sis. Imagine indeed.

Days of Future Past

Paige: My sister and I are part of RB's present, but the past has a tendency to catch up to some folks, and the future looms.

Monica: Oh no, not again...

Paige: Hey, pipe down. This is serious stuff.

Monica: Yeah, yeah. Maybe, just maybe, you should consider getting a career in movies. But I don't think RB needs drama right now.

Paige: Well, I couldn't agree with you more. But it isn't RB's drama I was talking about.

Monica: Oh? Then do say, whose drama are you talking about?

Paige: Well, unbeknownst to our readers out there...

Monica: Do people actually talk like that?

Paige: Shush. Now, as I was about to say, RB's grandmother passed away a few weeks ago.

Monica: Ah. I was wondering what you were getting at.

Paige: Yes indeed. Now, RB is dealing just fine. It is why he's been quiet these past few weeks, but mostly because he has many things on his mind right now. Interestingly, it's his parents who aren't dealing. On the one side we have his mother, a who woman is holding a deep well of resentment toward her mother. It appears that even death will not make the pain go away.

Monica: Ouch.

Paige: Now on the other we have RB's father who sees his own mortality racing toward him on the horizon. Yet even as he faces the inevitable, he cannot help but let his own nature and feelings of invulnerability get in the way. He knows death will eventually come, but believes it will happen on his terms, on his timing.

Monica: Hey, even dolls know that accidents can happen. Nothing is forever.

Paige: Yes indeedy. So it's good that his father wants to include RB in preparations for the future, but he doesn't seem willing to prepare for all contingencies. What this means is that, should anything unexpected happen, RB will be left holding the bag. Unfortunately, this bag won't necessarily be full of chocolaty goodness, but probably the hands of lawyers and judges all reaching out for their pieces of the pie.

Monica: Uhm, aren't you mixing your metaphors, there?

Paige: It's a grab bag of metaphors. Raise the pie higher, I say. Or maybe that was G. W. Bush...

Monica: Do you have any idea what you're talking about? Now I'm sounding the like the reasonable one. What's up with that?

Paige: Ok, ok. All I'm saying is that sometimes the past sneaks up on us in interesting ways, and sometimes the future is here before you know it. We all have to learn to let go of the past, and let the future be the future. We should not put our own expectations on it, but recognize that by definition the future is unknowable.

Monica: So, all that your saying is that we should all live in the present.

Paige: Uhm, yeah. Right. That's another way to put it.

Monica: Let go of the past, prepare for the future, but live in the present. Got it. Was that so hard to say?

Paige: Well... actually... uh... no, I guess it wasn't.

Monica: Ok, then. Well, there you go, folks. Wisdom of the day from dolls. Carpe diem and all that. Have a good day!