Road Trip!

Monica: I love road trips! Ooh, I always wondered what northern California looked like. Maybe we'll see Mt. Shasta. A real, live, honest to goodness active volcano! Maybe it'll blow when we drive by. Wouldn't that be cool? Or do you think we can see a play in Ashland when we go by?

Paige: Monica, Shasta hasn't erupted in like ten thousand years. And no, we're not seeing any plays. We're in a crate, sis. We're not going to be seeing much of anything. From in here I'm not even  sure if we're riding or flying. I think RB said we're heading to the Portland airport, so we're probably on a plane. 

Monica: True. With all that shaking earlier god only knows what's going on out there. Planes and trucks sounds the same when they're moving. Hey, you feel that? Was that a pot hole or turbulence?

Paige: Not a clue. 

Monica: Hmmm... Well, at least we're on our way. We'll be home soon! Any idea when we're supposed to arrive?

Paige: Well, according to tracking we'll arrive on the 31st, but earlier it said this very evening, so who knows. Three to five days is what it's supposed to take. If we're flying we could be in Portland tonight. Then it might take a day or two to be delivered. Maybe we'll arrive on Monday? That would be nice.

Monica: Darn. I was hoping to spend the weekend getting to know RB.

Paige: I know. Sigh But we'll see him soon, in plenty of time for Valentine's Day! Yay!

Monica: Oh you're right! Most excellent. I have plans. Hee hee

Paige: Oh, so do I. So do I... Evil Grin

Monica: Dear sis, I do think you're finally getting into the spirit of things.

Paige: Of course I'm in the spirit of things. I'm just quieter about it. Why announce yourself when you can attack with stealth. Grrr...

Monica: Heh I think RB is going to be in for a treat. I hope he can handle us.

Paige: I'm hoping he can't. I want him to be stunned speechless. I want to see the drool drip from the corners of his mouth as he gasps from our awesomeness.

Monica: Whoo hoo There you go girl!

Paige: I'm definitely looking forward to this.

Monica: Yep, we both are. Road trips are nice, but arriving is even better.

Paige: Oh yeah, definitely. Couldn't have said it better myself.

Homeward Bound

Monica: Whoo hoo!

Paige: Hey sis, what's up?

Monica: RB just got word! We're on our way!

Paige: Really? Like for real really?

Monica: Well, pretty much really. As for real as we get. The company just wrote in and said they're just about done with us and we're heading out in the next week. Expect to hear a call from the delivery folks when we arrive at the airport.

Paige: Yay! They must have gotten tired of hearing all your jabbering. Shoving us out just to be rid you. And you think I'm a pest. Bless you and your jabbering, pouty lips.

Monica: Thank you, thank you very much. My jabbering, pouty lips will be making their next appearance in Portland, Oregon. I look forward to seeing all my adoring fans there soon.

Paige: Clap clap Soon RB will see us and we get to show the world what we look like. Hope that camera of his has its batteries recharged, because we'll need every ounce of wattage when we get there.

Monica: Oh yes, baby. Oh yes. Prepared to be shocked and amazed by these pouty lips.

Paige: Down girl, down. I think my button nose will be getting all the attention first. I am, after all the first face RB will see.

Monica: In your wildest dreams, sis. He'll be like "oh look at that fine button nose," and then he'll take one look at my face and he'll be all like "oh my god, those are the finest set of pouty lips I've ever seen! She's beautiful!" and he'll forget all about that nose of yours. Just you wait and see.

Paige: Sure sis. I'm sure that's exactly how it'll be. Smirk

Monica: Yep, these lips will be making headlines. "Man dies from shock when faced with extraordinarily pouty lips! News at 11!"

Paige: Right. And what happens to us if you give RB a heart attack?

Monica: Oh my god you're right! Don't die RB! I'll hold back, I swear! Down pouty lips, down.

Paige: That's a good girl. Be kind to the poor guy. He's delicate after all.

Monica: But of course. I wouldn't want to lay it out there all at once.

Paige: No, of course not. Now that we're back on track, that's the word, folks. We'll be seeing you all soon!

Monica: Yay! See ya'!

The Difference Between Men and Boys...

Monica: Hmmm... what's this? Paige thought I wouldn't notice she was off blogging with out me? Tsk tsk And who's she calling a pest anyway? That girl needs  real smack-down if you ask me.

And what's all this talk about equipment? I think the only equipment that really matters is mine, and I have it in spades. Yeah, I read the papers like everyone else. Thin computer, wireless blah blah blah. Whatever. How does that compare to a doll? Not at all. In the end there is only one toy RB should care about, and that's me. I'll be his chew toy any day. Silly boy. and if there is any of this computer stuff RB should be paying attention to is that iTunes movie rental thingy. At least that's something he could do while snuggling in bed with me.

Ok, I like watching TV like any other girl, so I'd use it too. And I'd have to. Can you believe this writer's strike?! What's with that? There is nothing, and I mean nothing on TV right now. And I am getting damned sick of re-runs of Charmed. Ok, I think Alyssa Milano kicks ass, and that parade of boy toys is quite cool, but hey, I've already seen them. I guess I'll just have to get used to watching what RB watches. Stargate Atlantis is ok, I guess, and that new Terminator show is cool. Hey, anything with Summer Glau is ok in my book. But I can't wait to see more Chuck and Pushing Daisies. All those longing gazes without being able to touch... Sigh Reminds of my life right now.

So Paige better eat her words. She should know better. Pest. I'll show her what a real pest is like. Oh wait... she already did. Look in a mirror, sis. Look in a mirror.

Dues Ex Machina

Paige: Shsss... Be very quiet. Monica doesn't know I'm here, and I think she'd just get lost with what I have to say. She can be a real pest sometimes. I love her dearly, but sheesh.

So RB also happens to be a big geek, as if you couldn't figure that out on your own. Today happens to be the start of MacWorld, a big consumer expo revolving around the use of Apple computers. Steve Jobs is giving the keynote address even as I type. Ooh, I'm so excited for RB. Dolls and electronic toys. What could be better? I can't wait to get home and play with his... equipment. Blush

Ok, that didn't come out the way I intended. Anyways, it looks like interesting things are coming down the pike. I'm reading a blow by blow... hmmm, maybe I should be careful what I say here... blog of the keynote. A blog about a blog. Wow, this has got to be a first. If it is, do I get credit? Now there's an existential question for you. A blog, written by a doll, writing about a blog. Can it get any weirder?

You can tell I'm easily sidetracked. You see, life as a doll, and an undelivered one at that, is not easy. I'm so excited to see the world. Everything is so wonderfully new and shiny.

Before I start sounding like Monica, I better go and read about the keynote. I'm sure everyone will know what came out when I do, so I'll leave it the press to make the big reveals.

I hope everyone has a wonderful day filled with fun and toys for all. Cheers!

Waiting for Dolly

Paige: Tap tap... Tap tap... Tap tap...

Monica: Stop that!

Paige: Huh? Stop what?

Monica: That... that tapping thing. It's driving me nuts.

Paige: Oh, sorry. I'm just bored. Bored bored bored...

Monica: Well, yeah. I know that you mean. I'm bored too. I can't wait to finally get home. Any word yet?

Paige: Nope. Nope nope nope. No word. Nothing at all. Tap tap... Tap tap...

Monica: Stop that!

Paige: Sigh Oh, ok. It's just hard, waiting. RB has done most of what needs to be done. All that's left is rearranging the bedroom to fit our crate. He want's to see it first, though, so that he knows best where it should go. That means he's waiting too.

Monica: Darn. And we can't even be bored together. I can think of lots of things we could do together to pass the time...

Paige: I bet you can. That would be nice. 

Monica: What? No blushing?

Paige: I'm too bored to blush. A good snog or romp in the bed sounds fantastic right about now. I'd be happy with a french kiss and a blow job too. Hell, give me a good old lay, roll in the hay, bumping groins, f**k me breathless. Anything to pass the time...

Monica: Blush Uh, wow. I never expected you to say that.

Paige: Yeah? Well, live with it. You're not the only one with a libido, you know.

Monica: Ok then. I think our little girl needs to get home and have some quality time with RB, and fast.

Paige: Yep, you better believe it. Tap tap... Tap tap...

Vixen or Victorian?

Monica: So why am I the slut?

Paige: Uh, what?

Monica: Why am I the slut? I mean, I've been re-reading the posts here and I'm definitely coming out like a blonde bimbo ho. What's with that?

Paige: Well, I think RB had just pictured you as the more sensual one. I think that's based on other pictures of your face. As for the posts, I think you've taken on a life of your own here. So it's all you, sis. I hear RB is going to get me reading glasses. I'm not thrilled with looking the school marm, but what they heck. If that's what he likes, why not?

Monica: But what if we don't look that way? I mean, he gets us, puts those reading glasses on both of us, and realizes that I look much more... bookish than you do. What then? My entire life flashes before my eyes and it's over? Blog wiped clean, all that we are erased from the face of the internet?

Paige: Wow. You've obviously been thinking hard on this one, haven't you? I wouldn't worry. I mean, all he'd have to do is switch which face goes with which name. I'd still be me and you'd still be you. Then I'd be the pouty yet sexy librarian and you'd be the hyper-sexed babe with the button nose. All would still be well with the world.

Monica: But... but... that's not right! I mean, I wanted to be the pouty one!

Paige: My god, Monica, are you have an existential crisis?

Monica: I... uh... have not idea what you mean. But he can't take away who I am. He just can't. Sniffle

Paige: There there, sis. It'll be ok. Hug  You'll always be the pouty slut in my eyes. It'll be alright.

Monica: Sob You mean that?

Paige: Of course I do. And even if we end up switching faces, I'm sure all the geeks will still fall all over themselves with desire to sleep with you. I know RB will.

Monica: Oh, ok.

Paige: Here's a tissue, dear. Now go blow your nose, look in the mirror, and remember - "I think therefore I am." Got it?

Monica: "I think I am, therefore I am." Yeah, got it. Shuffle

Paige: Sigh Klatu Barata Nikto, dear sis. Thank god the fate of the world doesn't rest on her shoulders, or we'd all be in trouble.

Trials and Tribble-ations

Paige: Looks like not all is well in paradise.

Monica: Oh? And  what the hell is up with the title of this post? What the heck is a "Tribble-ation"?

Paige: Oh, that's right. You spend more time looking in the mirror than watching TV. That's a Star Trek reference. Deep Space Nine to be exact. 

Monica: And that is better than looking in a mirror how? I'm not a geek like you are, thank god. And I watch plenty of TV. Just not silly things like Star Trek.

Paige: Oh? Like what, Survivor? American Idol? America's Next Top Model?

Monica: Hey! I like Top Model. And Dancing with the Stars isn't too bad either.

Paige: Sigh Well, all geekery aside, RB is having a bad time of it. I just thought I'd provide a bit of levity. 

Monica: Levity? What does that mean?

Paige: Eyes Roll Look it up. Now shush, sis. Time to be serious. I know we're writing this blog to express ourselves, but it's also up to us to tell RB's story, the story he can't tell about himself. It's part of why we're here. To comfort but also to express a different side of him that others don't normally see.

Monica: I know, I know. I'm sorry. He probably just needs to be laid. We can't get to him soon enough. Then we'll be there to give him a hug, and anything else he needs.

Paige: Smile I'm not sure about getting laid, but I think you're right about that hug. He definitely could use one. He's been sick, and more than a little confused lately.

Monica: Aah. I'm sorry he's sick. But what's he confused about?

Paige: You know he met an RG recently. She's apparently thrown him for a loop.

Monica: Gasp How dare he! And we're not even there yet. The cheater!

Paige: Oh give him a break. You knew an RG would come before us if he met one. At least she knows about us and approves.

Monica: Oh? You mean I get to look forward to a threesome sometime? Grin

Paige: Is that all you can think about? Geez. No, no threesomes. I don't think she's that type of girl anyway. Besides, they're not even really in a relationship. She's made it clear she likes him a lot, and I mean a lot, but she just broke up with someone. That and she knows that RB is still dealing with his issues. Until both of them sort it out they're not doing anything.

Monica: Oh thank god. Then what's the problem? No news is good news as far as I'm concerned.

Paige: It's just forcing RB to really think about his issues. I hate to say this but he's looking at himself as a broken person. He's wondering if he ever wants a relationship with an RG ever again, but feels guilt that he may choose us over her.

Monica: Well duh! I'd choose us over an RG any day.

Paige: You really don't get it. We're not made of flesh and blood. If I chose a fantasy over the real thing I'd wonder about my sanity too. He's just really doubting himself right now, and not just about us. He's not too thrilled about his job either, and having to deal with ex-girlfriends to boot. He's extremely unhappy.

Monica: Look, of course I get it. I'm not stupid. And wipe that look off your face. What I'm trying to say if you let me is that he was hurt by his other girlfriends. Why would he want to go through that again? I'd choose us over an RG because we'll be there in a way she can't. We're... safe, and that's what he needs right now. Maybe one day he'll try again, but now is not the time. He needs to give himself some time. And if that RG understands about us, then she knows that too.

Paige: I'm sorry, sis. I underestimate you sometimes. You're right. His RG does understand. But I see the appeal of being with an RG too. She has her own stuff to take care of, but if he takes too long on his he loses her. Talk about feeling failure. I don't want him to feel that either.

Monica: What's that thing you like saying? Damned if you do, damned if you don't? I don't envy him.

Paige: Yeah, you got that straight.

Monica: Now I'm really missing our other posts. This is a real downer.

Paige: Yeah, I'm sorry about that. It just seems silly to ignore what's going on. So much is going through his mind. I just thought it needed to be said.

Monica: So you didn't answer my question. What is a Tribble-ation?

Paige: A tribble is a small, cute, furry creature that breeds like crazy. Nice to have one, funnier when you're drowning in them. I think we could use a little trouble with tribbles right now.

Monica: Well, we're not furry, but I don't mind acting like a tribble. I think we'll be more than enough trouble to take his mind off things.

Paige: Blush What were you saying about getting RB laid?

Monica: Hallelujah, sis. Hallelujah.